2012 AFL GRAND FINAL: THE MODERN DAY TEAM CAN’T WIN BACK TO BACK

It’s the second time in three years that a team has failed winning back to back premierships, leaving us all to wonder, is it possible in today’s AFL league? The cats had gone from champs to legends, but in 07, 09, and 11, always a year in between. Even the super swans failed back in 06, but came a lot closer than the cats in 08 and the Pies in 2011. But why are they failing? Being a cats supporter and going through it I did learn a few things. It seems the biggest killers after winning a premiership are ego’s and complacency. You have just won a grand final the supporters have waited 44 years for, and every minute out of every day, one of them is pulling you aside to tell you you’re a God, wanting to shake your hand, hug you, take photo’s etc. And this goes on for at least the next 6-12 months. How can your ego not inflate? In the olden days players were God s, but did not have quite the hysteria and huge fanatical supporter bases there are today. Collingwood alone has at least 80,000 members and probably still counting...unfortunately. Despite the fact that winning a premiership is the ultimate feeling for an AFL player, and they would do anything to feel it again ASAP, this just doesn’t seem to be enough to make it happen. Because the recipe for success has worked so well, and has achieved the ultimate, the players become set in their ways, i.e. the way they play, and the complacency sets in. So no matter what another team throws at them, which should prompt a change in their game plan, the players continue to play the same way regardless of the situation. And what helps to breed the complacency is the fact that despite being set in their ways, the team keeps winning by huge margins! So fair enough they think there is no reason to change, right? Unfortunately in time, this formula for success will fail, when a genuine hungry challenger, who hasn’t won the cup before, uses their brains, and adapts to knock the kings off their throne. At the end of 08, Hawthorn achieved this by winning the grand final, beating the cats. The cats were in shock after their formula had won them nearly every game for the year except the one that counted. Coach mark Thompson was the 1st to shed light on why the cats had failed.: ‘I felt the players were playing without listening’. It suddenly all made sense. Why would they follow what the coach was saying, when without him, they would still win the game by 60 points? After that loss in the 08 grand final, the cats were devastated and had something to prove in 09. They wanted to play using their heads, and they wanted a plan A, b and c so they could adapt when things went wrong. Some people say footballers don’t have many brains, when the fact is they do, they just need a bit of a push when it comes to knowing how to use them. That’s how the cats won in 09, they used their heads and came prepared for any possible challenge. The saints thought it was their destiny to win in 09, being the best team all year. Unfortunately this may have made them somewhat take their foot off the pedal on grand final day, feeling like it was already in their pocket. The cats also wanted to be super fit to ensure they could beat any other team. Last but not least, they had hunger again, because it had been a year or two since winning the big one. Hunger seems to be extremely important when going for the ultimate, but as we saw with the saints in 2010, all the hunger in the world can’t win you one if you don’t have the cattle or the natural talent. Just the pain of losing one wasn’t enough. The cats pulled off another amazing win though in 09, with a gap year since the last Premiership in 07.

Cats premiers in 07, The Abletts

Hawks premiers in 08, Gaz with a little less hair

Chappy, the man who won the 09 Grand final for the Cats..Never had hair

Cats premiers in 09

Luke Ball decestated after the Saints lose the 09 Grand Final

Flash forward to the cats at the end of 2010, who were again going for back to back. In their qualifying final, against the saints they played for 3 quarter with the enthusiasm of a farmer in a dry spell or a gay guy at goldifngers...therefore none. By the time the complacency had worn off and the cats realised the game was slipping away, it was too late. Perhaps they were never going to win back to back because the complacency had set in early in the season again, and they had not trained as hard in pre season as was required. I seemed to recall the cats either getting an extra month off or lighter training load after winning in 09.

Cats coach Bomber had allegedly tried to change the cats game style in 2010 to account for the Pies ‘press’, but was he really backpedalling with this comment? Did he know he was going to Essendon, and then became a saboteur? Or did Mark himself become a bit complacent and should have taken charge and forced change, rather than merely suggest it?

The Pies were now the champions, smashing the cats in the preliminary final of 2010, and despite a slight hiccup with the grand final draw, due to the fact that their best player decided to play with gastro, they completely dominated in the second 2010 grand final. It was their turn to go back to back. And by the end of 2011, I could start to see that what happened to the cats, was now happening to the Pies. The Pies looked like they were playing without listening. Mick Malthouse had smoke coming out his ears at times because the ego’s were understandably inflated and they were becoming complacent without even noticing. They, like the cats in 08 were winning every game and winning well, but when challenged, were lost like an 80 year old on a speed dating night. Those ego’s so strong and confident prevented the players from realising they were in trouble, all too late.

Mick Malthouse minus the smoke

Grand final draw 2010

Trav Cloke finally claims the second grand final in 2010

Pies 2010 Premiers

Pies on the big day in 2011

At ¾ time in the 2011 grand final, Pendlebury said the pies were right in there with the cats, but for some reason, they were powerless to stop the cats running away from them. Having missed out on the 2010 grand final, the cats were hungry again this year. Complacency gone, the talent was still there, add a new coach, and losing their best player had produced a whole new drive for the team. Everyone said they were too old, too slow, and couldn’t win one without Gazza. So the cats again had a point to prove, determined to hush the critics. And when the cats try to prove a point, they do it! It was an unstoppable force. After the 08 grand final Paul Chapman was burnt and said they were never to lose to hawthorn again,.. and they haven’t. The team also vowed to never lose another grand final again, and they had stayed true to their word.

Gary Ablett had sold his soul for 10 million and lost himself a premiership. Was it worth it? Joel Selwood and Jimmy Bartel had resisted the same temptation from the Gold Coast and GWS, to keep their champion team together. Selwood said he knew that in order to keep the talented playing group together, and in order for continued success for the footy club, he would have to take a pay cut. They would all need to. So loyalty, and unselfish acts like that helped the cats win a third premiership. That was the character of a real man that deserved respect. The Pies took pay cuts and then smiled, relaxed and said great, we’re all together still, that should be enough right??? Wrong.

Collingwood had put in place a plan so that they could overcome failing at back to back flags. They put all their trust in their fitness staff who took them to Arizona for high altitude training. It was supposed to create a superior fitness, but unfortunately this was done at the start of the season, and by the end, the effects were wearing thin. The pies seemed to rely too heavily on their fitness staff and became like dependant kids who had lost control of their own destiny. They forgot to take charge of their own responsibilities, and became complacent. On top of it, the cats were trialling a ‘heavy training program’ a month or two before the finals, which ultimately trumped Arizona. The revolutionary program had only been trialled by a young Crows team once and had failed. So it seemed risky with a team full of 30 year olds. Their form did slump initially, but in time the cats worked their butts off to become super fit for the finals. It was again their year, after winning in 07 ,09 and slumping in their back to back years of 08 and 2010. It was another odd year so the drive was back and it was time. We were lead to believe it was Collingwood’s year, but like a good reality TV show, the team you are lead to believe will win, never does. And certainly not without a year in between of serious soul searching, hunger and vengeance rebuilding . The cats had taken vengeance on the team that destroyed them the previous year, and didn’t stop punishing until the final siren. Whether the Cats can pull off the impossible task of winning back to back flags next year in 2012, remains to be seen, and looks to remain a huge challenge for years to come.

Captain Ling and coach Scott hold up the cup in 2011

2011 happy Cats

2011 Premiers pose

THE MEDIA CONFERENCE

After the game a content Jimmy Bartel sat with first year coach Chris Scott, 2 medals around his neck (Norm Smith and Premiership medal), and he talked about another amazing year at the club. Jimmy particularly mentioned the new focus and rejuvenation in the group. It was obviously a freshness lacking in the years after their premierships, and indeed a reason Gary Ablett had been lured away, for a fresh new challenge. Jimmy wore his Norm Smith medal proudly for best on ground, which he called ‘icing’. The man was modest! He could play in any position, and out-mark a player of any size. He could also kick goals from any position, which he attributed to practicing his barrels at training. And was again modest when he mentioned that he only thought they had the pies with 2 minutes to go. I wanted to ask if he had a different feeling with all 3 of the premierships, but before I could someone jumped in and asked it for me. I suspected I knew the answer anyway: of course they are all special! But Jimmy got a kick out of seeing the younger players win one too. Even though it meant Mooney and Milburn had to miss out, Jimmy commented on how special they are, and that they mean just as much to the team as Menzel and Vardy who also missed out.

Coach Chris Scott and Norm Smith winner Jimmy Bartel

Coach Scott was overwhelmed and said the feeling was the same, winning one as a player and coach. The players didn’t depend completely on Scott though. They rather worked with him and vice versa to get the best out of each other. Suddenly it was all the craze to get a new/young coach, and the old coaches were on the outs due to the Cats success now. Scott mentioned that injuries were a factor on the day. They didn’t know till 10am on the day, that Steve Johnson was right, and there was some concern when Pods went down, but Scott was confident Ottens and West would lift. Even if Hawkins hadn’t lifted , the coaches still had faith in his future. Taylor also had a head knock on the day, but the other three tall defenders stood up. He acknowledged that the team that wins the most contests wins the game, and at the start of the year they said they still needed to improve on this too, as they are a super competitive bunch. Scott said he worked on defence with the team, but the players were so well coached, that they were 95% ready for this grand final, with years of good preparation under their belts. He had his doubts initially but after 6 weeks he saw something remarkable with so many games won in 5 years, he knew he had walked into a special club. Scott also talked about his emotions in the box for the day. He felt fortunate and humble. Fortunate for the assistant coaches he had, but he said the players needed the credit for this.

Coach Chris Scotts' take on the day

THE GAME

The Cats had come from nearly 20 points down in the 2nd quarter, and run away with a special win. A man with a busted knee had kicked 4 goals (Johnson), and a lost boy (Hawkins) had taken 9 contested marks, out of nowhere to help seal the game and nearly take the norm smith. He was a boy who looked disinterested and unmotivated all year. Even Selwood, a poor shot for goal, kicked 2. A man called Varcoe who had looked lethargic of late, kicked three goals including the first 2. And Jimmy Bartel (the best player in the league) had more room to shine with Ablett gone.

The Pies played well mostly, magnificent at stages. Pendles’ was also strong until the last quarter, but it wasn’t enough. Early on the Pies fans had started their arrogant chant a little too soon. Most clubs had a standard chant of saying the teams name, and then clapping 3 times. But the Pies felt they were better, and deserved to have a unique call. It was simply their name drawn out: ‘COLL-INGWOOOD’. I suppose the sweetest moment for cats fans was the last ten minutes, when the entire stadium of cats supporters began a mock chant: ‘GEEEE-LOOOONG, GEEEE-LOOOONG’ . It was the highlight of the day, and put that arrogance back in its place. A timely reminder not to claim the game too early. The players would have loved hearing it, as it was payback for the Pies fans who began the chant a year ago in the prelim final against the cats.

The younger cats players chipped in for the victory. Duncan was almost a blessing in disguise after Pods dislocated a shoulder, and went off. ‘Slam Dunc’ scored a goal in his first grand final and Allen ‘call me all’ Christensen took a big mark between 2 pies players, the tiny man asserting his dominance, impressively. The Moon dog and Milburn were missing, but so was the ‘MENZ!’ Menzel. I don’t think I’ve cried at a footy match since I was 8, but when the Menz went down in the qualifying final against the Hawks, I lost it. I knew he had cost himself a premiership, and it wasn’t even worth it dislocating a knee after the ball had already gone out of bounds. He kicked 5 goals against the Pies in round 24, and was a young gun all year that prompted thrills. ‘The MENZ! You cant stop the MENZ’ was my call. Evidently a knee reco can stop the Menz. But from his work during the year, he was as much a part of the win as the injured Pods.

Selwood steps up again

Magic 'Johno' Johnson

The ever reliable Bartel

Trav 'Varcs' Varcoe on fire

Tom 'Tomahawk' Hawkins also steps up

Mitch 'Slam Dunc' Duncans first grand final

Corey 'Borris' Enright the joker

Al 'call me Al' Christensen

You can't even tackle this guy!

Pods goes down

Joel 'Smitty' Corey, and Matty Scarlett

THE ROOMS

The Cats players sipped beers, talked to family , friends, media and the adoring fans casually, like normal human beings would. Borris Enright inspected his boots while casually chatting about anything with the fam’, not necessarily the game or his huge achievement . Comedian ‘Jimmy’ James Kelly joked with his family and friends. And Tom Hawkins looked like he was getting a talking to from a family member or friend. He was getting some advice perhaps? Not that he needed it after his last quarter domination. They were acting like mere mortals, even though they had become immortal that day. They even had their kids with them. Harry Taylor was famous for taking his tiny baby James Taylor on the cats victory lap, to the tune of we are the champions. Everyone close was there. Even dual premiership captain Tom Harley chatted with Tom ‘Lonnas’ Lonergan. Lonergan lost a kidney playing for the club and risked his life every day since to play for the club. That has to be a well earnt premiership! It was a great place to be. It was a stark contrast to the Pies rooms which would have been quiet and full of sadness. Geelong and their
supporters were familiar with this in the early 90’s. There was a slight melancholy in the Cats rooms, with Cam moony and Darren Milburn sitting off to the side with old mate Kent Kingsley, who had let himself go, and lost a fair bit of hair since retirement. Kent present was his name in the day, known for plenty of marks but not goals unfortunately. They all shared a bitter sweet drink after missing out, but got to watch the team win. The immortals boarded the team bus to greet their fans at Fed Square and deservedly have their egos inflate once more :-). Happy for the third time in 5 years, with 4 grand final appearances, for three wins.

The song in the rooms

THE AFTERMATH

The happiness of winning a grand final lives on if you read all the newspaper articles in the week, and particularly the day after the grand final. Relive the magic, the moments, and find out all the secret goss’ about the injuries and efforts to get players ready for the big day. Steve Johnson thought he wasn’t going to be playing about 10 times during the week before the game, it was that touch and go. The pies had made a great deal about leaving out the injured beams, but perhaps failed by leaving in both Jolly and Reed, who struggled on the day in the end, when needed. The cats celebrated at fed square with a huge portion of supporters gathered to greet them, and the cup! They even re-inacted the mock ’GEEE-LOONG’ chant for the players again as
Billy got to pump up the glory for a third time. I think it all hit home though, looking at a pic of Cameron Ling, on the front of the herald sun, the Monday after the grand final. He was holding all three premiership cups, with the headline ‘Cat Trick’. I loved the pic, but for some reason, about the fourth time I looked at it, I became overwhelmed in burst into tears again! (First time football related since the Menz went down) I was happy this time with my tears. I only ever needed 1 premiership and now we had 3! It was all too much seeing all 3 cups together.

Go the mighty Cats! I’d welcome another cup, don’t get me wrong, but at this stage, its someone else’s turn to share in something so brilliant, so hard, and so rare in nearly 50 years. Jimmy Bartel said it best: ‘I’m so happy, I think I’m going to be sick!’

All that and more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.

Peace out*.

*Disclaimer: The Sports Lounge may contain 2/3 of your daily fibre intake. No this does not mean we will give you the shits. Warning this last paragraph may not be accurate. Conditions apply and portions of this blog have been edited for your discomfort. Spoken by Tan for the Sports Lounge Party Melbourne (say that last sentence really fast).

Australian Open Diary: Part 2, Access most areas pass

Day 8 -24 Jan

When I arrived home last night, I picked up an interview transcript of Caroline Wozniacki, as I had missed her match and wanted to read about what happened. “What the hell??...What kangaroo?..What is this??’ I was only catching up on phase two of the Wozniacki saga, the story of the fake kangaroo injury. First she finds out from a member of the media that she’s boring, gets annoyed, and then conducts her own media conference. And now in an obvious attempt to make herself more interesting to the media, she tells us she is wearing some tape on her shin, because she had an exciting and dangerous encounter with a kangaroo! The Roo was apparently lying down and she went to help it, and then it cut her. She later told the Danish press it was a joke, but the Aussie press took the story and printed it, believing it to be true. When Caroline realised her bullsh**t story was being taken seriously, she had to hold another press conference to apologise for all the useless work she had created for the media. And what is the real reason she cut her shin?...She’s a blonde, by her own admission and cut it herself, while walking on the treadmill. Is that even possible?? No better way to prove how much personality you have, than by making up a fake story about yourself *rolls eyes*. And if you hate media conferences so much, why create more for yourself???

Andy Murray cruised through to the next round again, with questions quickly turning to the lighter side of life. Often the media are searching for some personality when it comes to Andy Murray. Unlike the other Andy (Roddick) who offers too much of it. “Billy Connolly’s here, did you get to talk to him?’.’I met him after the match for the first time. When I travel around Scotland I listen to him on cassettes. Yeah he’s a funny guy’. .What a revelation, Billy Connolly’s funny? Common you just met the man and that’s all you can say. Andy added: ‘I used to listen to him from 10 years old’. Age ten?? It’s hardly childrens material! Lol ‘My mum and Dad were pretty lenient with that stuff, probably why my language is so bad on the court’…No s*&t!
Dolgopolov had wiped another giant out of the open; the highly ranked Soderling. We haven’t seen a ponytailed player this good since Lleyton and R-Fed. We were still searching for another allusive 5 setter. Gouch and Stubbs lost the doubles, and hopefully Renee wasn’t still frustrated about me pinching her seat :-s. You needed a magnifying glass to find an Aussie still left at the open in week 2.

Rapha was back on court, and looked a lot happier in the cooler temperature. He barely broke a sweat, with only one shirt change. So was he feeling better? Or was Cilic just having a really off night? After the game, another Rapha victory, Jim Courier referred to my previous question in Raphas media conference, about his sweating and not feeling well from his illness. ‘You’re not feeling great this week, you’ve been ill, sweating a lot, how are you feeling now?’ ‘This is the first day I have felt food for the entire tournament’. Carlos and I had now made headlines on prime time national television. The illness was seemingly no longer a problem for the favourite. But just how fatigued was he from playing while unwell?

My Spanish spy had been sitting next to Uncle Tony again and could hear what Rapha and his coach were saying to each other. We have long suspected that not only does Rapha receive illegal coaching from Tony during the match, but that it’s done in a way so that nobody can prove it. And it’s done in a language that very few people understand. My Spanish spy said the two of them don’t appear to be even talking in Spanish, but in a dialect of Catalonian known as ‘Majorcan’. No wonder the ump can’t pin anything on them; it’s not even a real language, its half a language! In previous years the umpire has asked the two to stop talking to each other and stop coaching, but Rapha always says ‘How do you know what Tony is saying? Do you speak that language??’..Well that’s exactly the point. The umpire doesn’t know what you’re saying so Tony could be coaching you! And you’re not supposed to be talking at all. But try telling the dynamic duo that. It was lucky my spy understood the unusual language, cause we always wonder what the two of them are really saying. And from what my friend was saying, it’s as simple as telling him basic tennis theory. ‘What did he say??” I asked. ‘He said stand here, telling Rapha where to stand when waiting for the serve, and telling him not to rush in and hit the ball, but wait for it to sit up before you smash it back’. It sounds simple, but advice like that on timing the ball, has been working well for them for a while now.

Zvonereva, Kvitova and Ferrer moved to the next round, and it was now day 8! I had still only asked one question, even if it was to Rapha; the world’s best player. I had noticed that Kim Clijsters had not been as popular with the media here. After having no explanation last year for her shocking early exit as favourite, in a big Petrova win, perhaps the media had lost patience with her lack of answers. Personally I was on Kim’s side. If you don’t know, you don’t know the answer. So here is a girl, our Aussie Kim, getting snubbed by the media, and she’s one of my picks for the tournament with Stosur gone. I also have plenty of opportunities to talk to her. After he win over Makarova, who made me want to sing ‘eyyyyyyyyyyy Makarova’ (like the Macarena for the music illiterate), there were only about 5 English speaking media in the media conference room, including myself. The call was put out for English questions… and there was a long silence. It didn’t look like anyone was going to start things off, in which case, if I didn’t speak up, they would have switched to questions in her native Flemish language, and I would miss a golden opp. I felt the weight on my shoulders, but for a shy person to start off a PC with the first question, it would have been quite an achievement. I had seen others do it; Clive the ol' pro. It didn’t have to be a great question, just one to get them to start talking. All my life I was never ok with being average, I always tried to do everything well, be over prepared, and if I wasn’t doing these things, I would chose not to do anything at all instead. But here I was, and I had to be average just so I could tell everyone I had spoken to Kim Clijsters. And it was stepping out of my comfort zone so I would mark it down as an achievement. I meant to ask; ‘it was a close first set, how did you pull away from her in the 2nd set?’But the nerves got the better of me and next thing you know, I blurted out ‘You played really well in the 1st set, how did you pull away from her in the second?’ Well it was close to what I intended, but they didn’t print the part about playing well in the transcript. It must have been poor form to say it and compliment the player. Hopefully she’s didn’t take it as a put down; that she played poorly in the second set, cause she didn’t. I just thought a compliment would go down well with her :-P. And once I had kicked things off, the others jumped in and together we almost produced a whole page of printable material! It was still not a lot though for a player that was in fantastic form! The mystery of Kimmys lack of popularity with the media lived on for the remainder of the tournament. Even Clive didn’t know about it, and if he doesn’t know, then who would?

Day nine - 25 Jan

Wozniacki was on in the Arvo for the first time, and I could finally see her on and off the court. She was up against Schiavone who had just been through 4 hours and 45 minutes in her Kusnetsova match, so this was Wazzas best chance to beat her, when Schia was exhausted. It was only appropriate that Caroline’s new Aussie name was ‘Wazza’, as there was an Aussie theme running with her ‘I was attacked by a vicious kangaroo’ story. It was the first decent women’s match we had seen in a while, with yes, 3 full sets! Caroline eventually broke through and beat Francesca, validating her highly questionable number one ranking.. so far.
Seeing as I had missed all the excitement of the roo story, I wasn’t expecting much from Wazza, maybe some hostility and attitude, even though she won. The first thing I saw when the media room door opened, was a giant blow up kangaroo, and Wazza in boxing gloves. Was she trying to show us her fighting spirit, or was she about to punch us?? ‘First I would like to thank the media person who gave me this kangaroo. There were a lot of requests to have a pic of me with a kangaroo so here it is. I have the gloves on ready to fight in case it attacks me’ ‘Does it have a name?’ ‘I don’t know, Skippy, fluffy? its calm so it won’t hurt me’. It was amusing but not sure if she got the difference between laughing with or laughing at someone. She also referred to an injury or soreness during the match. It was a hip flexor problem. I was going to ask if it was a kangaroo that did it, but thought I’d leave it. I should’ve cause 2 minutes later someone stole my joke. Caroline was asked about what she talks about with her friends and someone added ‘kangaroos?’

Our dancing smiling German girl hit a brick wall today. A tiny Chinese brick wall called Lee Na! Schiavone was surprisingly in a good mood after her loss to Wozniacki, but it was obviously hard to be an aggressive player and still lose to a safe defensive player, who waits for the other player to make a mistake. She was tired from the previous big match. ‘Francessca Should there be a tiebreaker in the match, in the third set of the Aussie open?’ ‘No its ok women are strong’. She had been getting positive feedback from the fans who love watching her play. Sometimes it’s hard asking questions ,as a journo found out when talking about the last ball of the match. The umpire had overruled it and it was Hawkeye that called it out to hand Wazza the match. ‘Looks like you called it out?’ the journo said. ‘If it’s out its out?! For me no chance’ ‘It was overruled by the umpire though?” Si but I saw the ball out, was no chance’. Hawkeye is often right, it’s a precision machine, I think that’s what she was trying to say in her best English. ‘No 4 in the world, it’s the highest ever ranking for an Italian woman?’ ‘I’m happy ..It’s not easy to arrive to. It’s like for you maybe to interview an idol (like me), so big emotion’. Even with the few words she could string together, she could still crack a good joke, and we could still get it. And even at 30 she joked she had 10 years more in her, taking it step by step. ‘Do you think you are a better player than when you won the French?’ ‘If you think so, I can say yes’. Move over Davydenko, Schiavone you Beauty! A new comedian has arrived in Aus.

Novak Djokovic had a straight forward victory, another one over Thomas Berdych, who had been a recent threat in tennis. After the match Novak commented on his new found fitness and days off, helping his new game. And here we thought he had finally committed to effort, his laziness was helping him be successful lol.

The dancing German Petkovic took her last stand in front of the media and talked up Li Na as her pick for win the tournament. “She hits it deep and flat and early..it’s kind of sneaky aggressive. My coach calls her the Davydenko of women’s tennis’. So it wasn’t Wozniacki after all, or Schiavone! Even after his early exit from the open, Nicolai’s spirit was living on strong! Andrea felt she lacked her usual energy as she had played all night matches and this was early in the morning. This was definitely something I could relate to. It was kind of exhausting just watching matches all arvo and evening, as fun as it was! So can’t imagine playing 1st up and dealing with the sun in your eye all of a sudden, while trying to serve. Petkovic had tried everything against the Chinese sensation. But her footwork wasn’t there and Li was hitting it deep no matter how much power Andrea threw at her. The Tournament would miss Andrea’s personality, although Li Na was cracking a few jokes too. Her English wasn’t as good as her Chinese, but we still enjoyed hearing about her personal life and the characters in her family. We told her Andrea has picked her to win the final, but Li just said ‘that’s nice of her but still a few steps to go’ ‘Is your husband getting worried about what you might do to his credit card this year?’ ‘He’s totally in control’ she said smiling. ‘If I use it, China bank will send him a text and he will call me so he’s still in control’. Li also talked about when she took time off tennis to go to uni. She said she was studying media ‘like you guys’ and lost her passion for tennis having such a low ranking. But when Uni was over she didn’t feel like the type to go and get a day job and went back to tennis. ‘At Uni, nobody knew I was a tennis player’. Time to time she was asked by her friends what she thought about tennis and as it was not very popular in China at the time, it was not so interesting to them. Li returned to the game and has moved into the top ranks of women’s tennis. ‘Is it true your mother has never watched you play? Would she watch you if you were in the final maybe?’ ‘If I win she can watch the video. If you tell her I’m playing she says she needs air she’s so nervous. I got a text from my uncle and everyone say good job and I say where is my mum? And they say ‘oh she’s somewhere else, she didn’t enjoy with us.’ Well at least if she can’t watch it, it means she cares about the result. But Li was obviously thinking *Geez mum, I’m one of the best players in the world now! It’s worth a look!*

Rogers latest victim was fellow Swede and former giant killer Stan Warwinka, who realised having a practice hit with Roger was a lot different to playing him in a grand slam. Stan had been carrying a Homer Simpson doll around with him as a joke after he drew a picture of Homer on twitter once. The fans kept asking him for more pictures. At least that was my best translation of what happened. Stan’s tennis usually did most of the talking for him and his Swedish outweighed his English. Roger played down then match saying it wasn’t as easy as it looked and discussed getting to know Paul his new coach and working out new tactics. He was asked about Rapha and their personal relationship from the beginning. He revealed that they have always had a mutual respect for each other and have even talked tennis occasionally in social situations. They see each other constantly so it made sense hanging out. Rog felt aggression was not the key to his success, but having the right game plan. He admitted losing to Djokovic at the US open was hard as he had match points, but was mentally confused not being a fan of ‘super Saturday’ and the prospect of playing Rapha the very next day. A great question was asked about his ability to speak so many different languages (French, Swiss, German, and English) and if he regrets learning them cause he has to spend so much more time facing the media. He said sometimes he wishes he never told anyone, but at the same time he has friends all over the world because of it. He likes being able to show different ‘characters’ or a sense of humour in different languages, and finds getting to know himself through different languages extremely interesting. Sitting and listening to Roger, you fell like a mere mortal! But in a good ‘I’m in awe’ kind of way. A minute later, the great man used the phrase ‘I wish there was more better ones around’ talking about 1 handed backhanded players, and suddenly the 5 language maestro stepped off his pedestal and proved he’s a mere mortal too, just like us. He’s capable of errors like poor grammar. Not to mention last year when I asked him a question about the defending champion, and he didn’t know what the phrase meant lol. Yet he understands 5 languages; Intriguing. He told us he gives all the towels he collects during tournaments to his friends, so he’s real! But after his experience with the media earlier in the year he was standoffish and blunt, most unlike the polite professional champ. After explaining a loss was due to his back, the media accused him of making excuses and disrespecting his opponents win. He didn’t trust us anymore. They asked him, so he told them. It’s not his fault they didn’t like the answer. And Roger ended the PC with a ‘who cares?’ Most un-Roger like.

At the end of the night I jumped into the Kia to head back to my car, and the driver told me she had Caroline ‘Wazza’ Wozniacki in the car with her earlier in the day, and had driven Wazza and her blow up kangaroo to the match. She had joked with Wazza that the roo should be in the front seat instead. Wazza was in good spirits for her pending prop comic routine. Little did she know her next match would be no laughing matter. It would have been awkward driving home with the Roo if she had've lost to Schiavone that day. Reporters would have written stories that she had lost her mind!

Day 10 -26 Jan- No Vamos!

Could it be? Yes it could? Or couldn’t it? This was supposed to be my last day at the open, but by the end of the night by miracle and hard work, I dared to dream more than Rapha, the tournament favourite, and make it passed day 10. We didn’t know it then but if it was my last night, I was going out with a bang! And I’m not talking about the Australia day fireworks show. Last year on day ten, I managed to get a photo with Gary Ablett junior and Lilly Allen! And I was treated to a comedy show by Joe Tsonga and Davydenko, you beauty! It was the best day of the open by far, and would be hard to top!

Quarter finals day saw our Kimmy go through against Radwanska in good form. Although Kim still felt she could play better. Zvonereva easily beat Kvitova who from what I’d briefly seen, was a hard hitting, talented..yes I’m being too complimentary..brat! Could this be Vera’s time to shine?...Ask me in 2 days, when Kim and Vera will have a semi date. And that means a date in a semi final not a half date.

I hadn’t really seen a lot of tennis yet and with an announcement that Gisela Dulko was on her way to the private intimate room 3, I was further sidetracked. You see for some time now, I have had a crush on the Argentinean beauty and this was even better than seeing her in the main interview room. I was closer to her! There was just one problem; they weren’t speaking a word of English! All native language questions. If all the reporters weren’t from overseas, they would’ve thought I was the biggest pervert!.. Thankfully they were, so I stood there for ten minutes pretending to understand Gisela and her doubles partner and thanking some kind of God that the doubles exists, otherwise Dulko would have been on a plane home! I finished nodding and slipped out the door, and to be honest, she’s not as great close up. But still good, I aint complainin :-P.

We were still searching for some exciting men’s tennis. We were also searching for a nickname for Dolgopolov, who had one of the oddest names on tour. But when you keep knocking the top players out of the open, you become quite popular. The ponytail was living on too! Maybe ‘Dolly’ or ‘Goppy’ or ‘Dolgy!’(My fav, but eventually the answer was presented to me by the wise crowd..ALEX!) Call him Alex, use his bloody first name, it’s easy and it’s there! No brain work needed.

Andy Murray was well on top of this new tennis dynamo, making him look like the amateur he was supposed to be. Dolgys ponytail powers were useless today…until of course the tennis animal within him rose up and he started to take control of the 3rd set. It was a massive seesawing battle, and could he get it? Yes he can! It was actually so interesting all of a sudden, that I even forgot miss universe Jacinta Campbell was sitting in row A! What a sin! It wasn’t long though before everyone’s fav angry Scott stepped up his game again, and showed Dolgy why it takes time to earn your place on sacred center court. The crowd were happy to say they had seen a long men’s match for a change, earning their money with a 4 setter.

Seeing as we weren’t expecting much tonight from the Rapha v Ferrer match, this Murray match was supposed to be our only excitement for the day. Yes of course we were wrong! It’s true! And it makes a much better story anyway! Rapha had won nearly all of his matches so far in a boring, under an hour kind of fashion. Would anybody actually be watching? Maybe a few. Would I stop asking and answering my own questions?..in good time ;-). We were only in the second game of the match, and Rapha was struggling on serve. I hadn’t made it to my seat in time for the start of the match, so I stopped at the bottom of the stairs waiting to go in and watch, while thinking *this won’t be long, I’ll be settled in a sec*..6 deuces later! And I wasn’t so sure. I was obviously experiencing being part of the longest 3 game lockout in history. We got to 8 deuces and I was thinking of starting a long distance overseas phone call to pass the time, when finally something gave. But it wasn’t Rapha, it was Ferrer breaking his serve. We sensed something was wrong. Rapha didn’t need to warm up! he's Rapha. But his fellow Spaniard looked to have him on the ropes. And then when it happened again at 3-1 down, the champ called for a medical time out. The first thought was his Hawaii virus, but secondly he had already told us he was finally feeling better last match. If it’s not Doha it must be a new injury! And when the trainer comes out and rubs the sore spot, we’ll have some idea what it is…right?? Wrong! Rpaha had disappeared up the tunnel and we were left to wonder some more. He had already retired a year ago in almost the same stage of the Aus open. Not again! Especially as I didn’t have to fight for a seat this year, and only to catch 1 game before the match was called off. As quickly as I sat down, I had to get up again!

Rapha returned to the court and appeared the same, out of sorts still. There were flashes of brilliance, but Ferrer was well on top. Was Ferrer suddenly turning into the best player alive, spontaneously?? Or was Rapha really hurt and making him look good? This went on for hours. Usually when a player has a pain injection they go up the race where Rapha went. And at first it looked like after a few slow games, his form was improving. Maybe he could take a set! And then slowly he deteriorated to what looked like :helpless, and in a great deal of pain.. from the injury, not the losing. He couldn’t move well at all and it just became like watching a wounded animal play tennis. A very talented wounded animal. As if Ferrer had Kryptonite in his pockets instead of tennis balls, and was robbing Rapha of all his super powers! Why was he playing on? This was crazy. Nobody with talent wants the world to watch them play badly. It’s like Rapha was determined to finish the match after last year, when everyone only go to see a set, or so. But was he really that polite? It looked like it! At the change of ends he buried his head in his hands, in tears practically, as he looked up at Uncle Tony. Even a look or illegal dialogue couldn’t save him now. He returned to court with error after error, mumbling in his Catalonian dialect to the coach. I was dieing to know what he was saying. There was only one person who might be able to fill me in on the inside word! My Mexican translator and spy: Mr. X, who was sitting in his usual seat across the aisle from Uncle Tony. Rapha and Tony probably thought they were the only ones who understood the chat! The long and painful result dragged on until finally, to Rapha's relief, it was over. The Rapha slam was over and so was the record equaling fourth consecutive slam for Nadal.

The crowd gave him a huge cheer as he left the court. They wanted to see him win and cheered him on in the few points he actually won! We were all in shock, but I couldn’t wait to get down stairs and find out what happened from Mr. X. ‘What the hell happened??’ ‘I don’t know it’s crazy. I’m writing a book on Rapha and now he’s out!’ ‘Were you sitting with Tony? What were they saying? What’s wrong with Rapha?’ so many questions! ‘He was injured’ ‘but where?’ ‘I don’t know he just point towards his lower stomach and say he thinks he’s torn a muscle or he’s in a lot of pain. He said to Tony ‘I want to retire, this is so bad I can’t play’ and Tony looked at him and said, and I’ll never forget this, ‘Not a chance, it’s not an option, you keep going, so forget it’ ” or some words along those lines. So it seemed uncle Tony forced Rapha to finish the game in extreme pain, against his will. Mr. X and I wanted to ask Rapha if he felt like retiring, to see if he would tell us the truth. ‘What else did he say?’ I asked, hoping for more juicy gossip, as if this wasn’t enough. Everybody watching and in the media wanted to know what had happened and I was getting a private tour! ‘Look, I recorded it!’ he said ‘on my phone’ Mr. X started to play the convo between Rapha and Tony. It was hard to hear and there wasn’t much English, but Mr. X explained the praise Tony and assistants had heaped on Ferrer, with his merciless hitting against their man Rapa. ‘They were saying look at him (Ferrer), he is a beast!’ He was smashing Rapha to pieces, but it sounded like they were insulting Ferrer. Mr. X said ‘no, no they were saying how good and powerful he is’. Apparently being called a beast in Spanish, is actually a compliment! It means you are a ruthless, powerful, animal like machine. So Ferrer actually wanted to be called a beast! He was a ferociously talented unstoppable player in their eyes tonight. Against a very good player, he was a beast! A compliment they probably usually reserved for Rapha. Mr. X and I decided I would ask Rapha about whether he would retire in English and he would ask the same thing in Spanish, then we would compare answers afterwards.

As we waited patiently, the announcement of Rapha on his way to the interview room was dropped like a bomb, and without warning. He was hoping for a small crowd by surprising us. He didn’t get what he wanted, it waswishful thinking. As we sprinted to the PC, financial question girl was walking in front of me. I tapped her on the shoulder and said ‘I wouldn’t ask him any financial questions, not a good time’. She smiled and agreed. There was some silence before the experienced ones jumped straight to the point. ‘What can you tell us about the injury?’ ‘I would prefer not to talk about the injury, I know nothing’. Not what we were hoping for. That was all everyone wanted to know. We stepped back for a sec before trying again. ‘Looked hard to move out there tonight, fair statement?’ ‘You see the match?’ he said. He was onto the sneaky tricks of the media trying to get his injury out of him. What was it?? After a few words on his health problems in the past and how he hates this image he has for retiring, we knew he was referring to his retirement last year to Murray in the identical setting. It was a knee then, and who knows what now? I was dieing to ask my question ‘did you feel like retiring?’ But when he told the media he preferred not to talk about it today, and said ‘If you can respect that, it would be a nice thing for me.’ After a comment like that how could I play shark? I felt I had to respect his wishes and not ask. And thankfully a reporter without a conscience did my dirty work for me. A brave man asked straight away after Raphas plea, ‘what's the problem though?’ ‘You listen to me? I can't tell you..because I don’t know’. Ouch, I’ll leave it to the pros :-s. Someone kindly took a more favourable angle, about losing his 4th grand slam for the year, which would have made it 4 out of 4. And yes after the previous question, this was more favourable! Hard to believe. Then one of the pro’s showed me up and asked my question but did skew it in a clever way so he wouldn’t piss Rapha off. Instead of asking if he thought of retiring he asked ‘if you weren’t playing a friend of yours, would you have kept till the last point on the court, or left a little bit before?’ ‘I hate retirements, I did it last year, hate that moment, didn’t want to repeat that’. Obviously this contradicted what Mr. X had heard. Rapha had apparently told Tony he wanted to retire, so would he tell the Spanish media the same thing? I watched Mr. X do his thing and ask questions, along with the other Spaniards. I watched having no idea what was said and at the end pounced on Mr. X ‘What did he say?” Mr. X said he told the Spanish media he had a tear around his stomach or thigh as some were saying. And obviously this contradicted what he had told the Aussie media; that he had no idea what the problem was. A couple of lies from the champ were disappointing, especially when I had respected him and laid off the hard questions. But the pattern would continue in PC’s, the players always save the juicy bits for their home media.

We were all still in shock and excitement, a feeling that had been lacking a bit at the open this year. I was keen to stick around and see who would be King, now with Rapha out and this being my last day. I hoped to be back! Only a hope at the time. I said my farewells to Mr. X, Carlos, the old pro Clive and the rest of the gang, when one of them encouraged me to ask if I could stick around. I had already asked the head of the media's assistant and was sort of knocked back, when my media friend told me the boss had a boss! Who I had met last year. I finally plucked up the courage and asked for an extra day like last year. ‘Let's see if you can stay for the rest of the open’ he said. I was in shock again. I could be there for the finals! Apparently he remembered seeing me at the Open last year, so I passed the familiarity test :-p. The ‘I guess if you haven’t been kicked out by now, you're not a trouble maker or an axe murderer’ test. Sticking around would prove to involve a bit of work and I would maybe not see much tennis, but to be at the final media conference was unknown territory for our lil' station. I was a mini pioneer. We traded details and I felt a tad special. He then threw in some extra info on Rapha from behind closed doors. After I commented on the conflicting answers Rapha gave to different media he said;’I don’t know if you realise how hard it was for Rapha to play on. He tore a hammy/thigh in the first 3 games and played on’. Yes it was a big effort, I agreed. He was in tears. Mr. X later commented on how it didn’t even seem to be Raphas decision to retire. Rapha has so many people making decisions for him; it was as if he wasn’t his own complete person anymore, which was a shame as he was still a tennis champ. I suppose even though I don’t like lies, he obviously felt forced to lie. It’s not as if you’d expect him to get up in front of the media and go ‘I wanted to retire, but my Uncle wouldn’t let me’. The version Rapha gave did protect Uncle Tony, and his own credibility, as well as showing respect for his opponent by not blaming his injury for his loss. Still a superman, but out of the open. Day 10 had found its ‘vamos!’ just not on the court for Rapha. The Rapha slam was no more. But I was excited to see what my second chance at the Open would hold.

Day 11 -27 Jan

I finally had my stay extended after some running around. The match everyone was glued to was the women’s semi between Caroline ‘kangaroo’ Wozniacki and Li Na, last year’s semi finalist. It was a tough day at the office with the match see-sawing. Wozza was serving for the match in the second set, but couldn’t close it out! The pocket rocket brought the hard winners down the line and pinched the second set. Wozniacki picked things up again in the third set only to be rolled again by Na. the crowd were right behind the underdog, whose game was all too classy for the high lobbing game of Wozniakci. The critics were happy to see this style out of the Open as it was becoming known as boring and slow. After the match Li Na mentioned in her interview that she didn’t get much sleep last night, due to her husband’s snoring. He may have been slightly embarrassed as the entire country was watching. More importantly this was the first time a Chinese player was in the final of a grand slam, but when asked if this is a good thing for Chinese tennis Li Na pretty much said ‘who cares?’ in a different way. ‘Yes food for me and my team, maybe good for china tennis’ She was very casual about making history! She was also not the best with her English but she managed to crack a joke. ‘Last year semi’s, this year finals, what are you going to do next year?’ ‘If I win this year I will retire! Maybe next year’. I was about to go up and watch the Clijsters and Zvonerevea match but before we had the chance it was all over! It was Wazzas turn to face the music now. There was no blow up kangaroo and smiles this time. It was obvious this would take some time to get over. It was also mentuioned that Justine Hennin had announced her retirement, obviously due to her elbow problem. It was a shame; she had plenty of good tennis left in her and was always very professional in interviews, not to mention always in the finals. She was our great hope to knock Serena out. Our Kimmy was now our great hope for this, blasting Vera off court!

Vera was having a great year, but hit a brick wall today. Kim was asked if going into a final like that is as good as it gets!? ‘Yeah I’m happy with the way I played, but I kind of dropped my level a bit and let her back into it’. Wow if that was a bad day, I’d hate to see how scary she is on a good one! So the tennis had wrapped up for the day session early again, and we needed to find ways to cope with our day 10 withdrawl! It was such a huge night the night before.
I heard a familiar sound and decided to wander out to grand slam oval, to the music stage. There was Blue Juice belting out their latest hits, and I was just happy cause I knew who they were! Only the big acts were on in the finals. I thought about going the mosh pit, but it was time for R-Fed v Novak Djokovic, and I was keen to see one last piece of quality live tennis.

I scrapped in by a whisker! This time I was in the top stands close to the fans. Early on Roger looked in trouble, and Novak was on fire. You still had this feeling though that Roger had something up his sleeve, in control like a good back seat driver. He fought back to take the 1st set to a tiebreaker. But even still Novak blasted away to a 6-3 lead and took the set. If Roger didn’t take the second, it was obvious we were about to lose another big gun, two nights in a row. Roger was hitting short balls and his serve was broken. No sooner did he break back though, making us wonder if he was still warming up. He had flicked a switch and I began to prepare questions to ask Roger, thinking he would be the winner. But when Novak took the second set, and the disbelief set in, I didn’t have much time to prepare ‘winning’ slanted questions for the Joker! Even with an ankle roll, a missed smash and several double faults, Novak still managed to beat the king, and was lethal from the backline. Rog had tried mixing it up at the net, but it had failed for the champ.
Roger was asked after the game how he felt on court.After using his back as an excuse last year and being heavily chastised by the media, Roger kept repeating how he felt great! It wasn’t convincing but he gave his usual detailed responses, and was obviously narky. If a bad question was thrown his way, all professionalism was out the window: ‘just to ask if you played better the other time, or if something changed, or is the same?’ ‘Yeah I don’t know, it’s not the greatest question to be honest’. I was going to hang back again and leave it to the brave. So no Rog or Raph, we had a new favourite in town. Novak didnt seem to be taking this ‘being in the final and knocking out Rog’ thing too seriously. He said he might go hang in the botanical gardens to kill some extra time before the final. He seemed to take a lot of confidence from winning the Hopman cup and of course the highly sought after Davis cup. He also talked about his friend Murray who was in the other men’s semi. The two of them had played soccer together as juniors and they could possibly meet in the final. When asked if he thought Rog and Raph being beaten more recently, indicated a change of the guard, he was humble and reminded us all of their great success. And of course he reminded us how far away from them, all the players still are. His last order of business was denying rumours Ana Ivanovich (who was sitting in his box) had a crush on Rog. “But you said for sure she was sitting in my box?’ he joked.

Day 12 - 28 Jan

Day 12 started with a hope. I was lucky to get in to see the R-Fed Djokovic match, but I feared it might be my last prime time appearance on court, as I was now branded with a day pass. Yes it got me into the Open and all the press conferences, but not into the big matches anymore. Day passes were frowned upon as they were often reserved for the small fish as myself after day 10. As lucky as I felt to still be there, you could tell people were no longer looking at me in the same positive way. ‘Guys guys look at my face, I’m still the same person!’ ‘Yeah but you’re wearing a day pass’. ‘Ok so it’s not made out of hard durable plastic stuff like the one I was wearing for the 1st 10 days, but it’s still me! I’m not a hooligan!’ This is the conversation that would or should have taken place at the time, but I thought id save my breath as I knew it was futile. I was officially a media bottom feeder in most eyes. A few people had been kicked out wearing day passes and had cast a shadow over us well behaved bottom feeders. None the less I thought I’d try and see if I could go up and watch the doubles before the big Fererr v Murray night match. ‘Hrrm i'll have to go ask the boss’ .I nearly fell over. ‘I just went upstairs, there’s nobody in the whole stadium and you have to ask???”…That’s what I should have said, but I don’t really want to bust anyone’s chops and shoot the messenger. I’m quite the courteous day passer. The desk person returned with a seat icon and said it was ok, but only for the doubles. And let me tell you, it wasn’t even quality doubles match that I just practically begged to get into; it was a tad f grade. I had already missed the A grade doubles with the gorgeous Gisella Dulko and annoying Azarenka, so as a day passer I had officially hit rock bottom. No wait, I suddenly felt better, when I looked up and saw Amelie Muresmo doing an interview in the media room…by the toilets! Sadly this was where her career is now, so it was slightly appropriate. I didn’t feel so rock bottom anymore. I did however feel bad for her. She was an official member of our lot and I, like most had judged her harshly on TV. People used to comment on how big and manly she was, and how she had an unfair advantage over most women. However in person she was really quite tiny. It’s not a crime to have broad shoulders. She was very quiet spoken as well. It’s amazing how far bad and incorrect press can spin out of control and paint a bad picture. And if it wasn’t for the fact that I was burning daylight and missing my only live match for the day, I might have observed and reflected more on this. You know you have arrived when your interview space is in front of a public toilet hrmm lol.

As soon as I arrived in the empty Rod laver Arena I felt a lil’ lonely, but also enjoyed the quiet rarity for a change on centre court. And then all of a sudden, as if on cue, loud music started playing. I remembered that every day a band would perform on Grand Slam oval and the longer the days went on, the bigger the group. The sound was familiar; it was Gypsy and the cat. Damn! I’m missing Gypsy and the cat for this pesky f-grade doubles!

At least there was an Aussie on court so I had someone to cheer for. And no you wouldn’t know his name so ill refrain…Alas the only Aussie left in the draw, and at least he won. He does get points for making it deep into the second week, even in f grade mixed doubles. I still hearted tennis but had to clear out for the big guns to prepare at night. I thought I’d try and see if I could catch Murray on the practice courts, but again my poor timing! I had just missed him. When I returned to the media centre, there at the front desk was Dave Hughes standing in tennis gear, begging to get into the Ferrer v Murray night match. Well if it’s good enough for an A grade celeb…..Na I’d given up begging for a seat. But I couldn’t believe Dave was actually asking for a spot. I can’t believe he would ask for the spot of someone who is actually in sports media. Surely they wouldn’t? On top of it all I missed Gisella Dulko in the main interview room, while I was at the doubles! She’s never in there, only the small interview rooms. Cruel cruel world! I attempted to ask one more time to go up and watch the big men’s semi as my Mexican friend had put me on the list as number 8, in hope and anticipation. I was denied and slightly bitter I had seen my last game.

I went upstairs to make a long phone call just outside the entry doors of Rod Laver Arena. The match was on a break at the change of ends when I saw Hughesy sprint past with some chips and a pie. He then sprinted straight into Rod laver arena. I couldn’t believe it, Hughesy had stolen my seat! I couldn’t get into the game cause Hughesy is in my seat! Maybe if I go and work on my stand up for a few years, I might be able to get myself a seat in the Arena. But alas time was of the essence and I didn’t have any.

I decided to go down stairs and took a leaf out of a friends book. If I want to watch the match in comfort, I would have to squat at someone’s desk. They wouldn’t need it if they were up watching the match live. Each assigned desk was equipped with a flat screen so it seemed like a nice quiet place to prepare a question for either Andy Murray or Ferrer. Early on it looked like it could go either way, so I thought it best to prepare questions for both players. But after a tough 1st two sets it became ovbvious the Scott was pulling away and flattening the giant killer. It was a relief cause I remembered David’s English wasn’t the best, and at the same time, not a relief, cause Andy Murray was known as the boring interwiewee. To top it off, his play was rather uninspiring, so I felt I had either lackluster questions, or that I was re-using things that had already been asked.

My favourite question, would have been better suited to Novak, but now was the moment so I thought I better have a go, or I could have just watched the match from home. I was also counting on Andy being in a good mood after just making the final. Ferrer was obviously a little embarrassed. The wounded Rapha had made him appear a brilliant player, and now against a fit player, he was far from it. He had his chances, admittedly in the first two sets, but didn’t take them. The angry Andy Marsupial entered and I waited till the big guns fired away, then seizeing my day again and jumped in: ‘Andy, it’s going to be hot on Sunday, and Novak has had some problems in the past with heat exhaustion, do you think that might be an advantage for you?’ The question was a risk as the two were friends and didn’t want to bad mouth each other. ‘I wouldn’t expect it to be too much of an issue. It’s in the evening. If it is an issue for him, then that’s obviously an advantage for me, but I’m not thinking it will be a problem for me’. I almost didn’t care about the reply. I was so nervous as usual and was like a puffed athlete ‘sucking in the big ones’, waiting for my red face to go down without anyone noticing. As questions switched to the Scottish press, I attempted to leave, but my Mexican friend was still talking and interrupting Andy Murray. Most people in the room attempted a ‘shhhh’ at him, but he wasn’t getting the message. I said ‘shh Andy is still speaking and you're interrupting’, but he just kept talking. I attempted one last shhh, and then my Mexican friend, or should I say, my former Mexican friend yelled out ‘don’t tell me to shhh’. I had never been so embarrassed, and in front of Andy Murray. I tried to ignore the crazy and get out of the room as quickly as possible, while keeping my distance from crazy town. It was not easy, and still not easy to live down what happened. This was obviously a slight culture clash of manners, of sorts. That was the last time we spoke, apart from a few polite ‘hello’s’. And I know you will never read this but ‘I’m SOOOOOO SORRRY ANDY MURRAY!!!!!’

Day 13 -29 Jan

Ahh finals day at last, and my first ever Grand slam final, so it was exciting!..Even if I was watching the match from underneath the arena instead of inside it. I squatted at a free desk, knowing I didn’t have a snowflakes chance in hell of seeing some live tennis. I was still excited about asking the tournament winner a question. Even though I was more nervous than usual, so yeah ridiculously! In the morning Novak had held a pre match press conference and another member of the media had asked him the question I had posed to Andy Murray the night before; about Novak’s previous problems in the heat. ‘It’s going to be hot tomorrow, how will you cope? And have you factored that into your preparation?’ ‘Its going to be evening, so no sun, I’m looking forward to that’. Someone had been reading Murray’s script and almost repeated what he replied with, word for word. His reply was short n sweet so he could move off the topic. Like all living organisms, if you don’t feed the media, their line of questioning dies. Perhaps Novak was concerned about the heat, but brought his poker face. It was still exciting to see my little observation snowball throughout the media.

The celebs were out in force for the women’s final between our Kimmy and pocket Chinese dynamo sensation (running out of compliments) LI Na! Anthony Lapaglia, Billy Slater and Mr. and Mrs. Judd, the royal couple were all there. Just a shame I couldn’t go mingle with them while trapped in the bowels of Rod Laver. It was going to be a great match for a change, without Serena pummeling someone half her size. And I had to watch closely if I was to ask something to the winner. It would not be easy to get a word in, in a packed house of experts and ‘non day pass’ royalty. Li Na had started well and was hitting with power and precision. She was however, doing a lot of talking to herself and possibly illegally to her coach, as Kim started to fight back. Pity it was in Chinese so I had no idea what she was saying. The umpire took issue with her but Na was in a feisty/frustrated mood and certainly in no mood for a violation. To make matters worse, out of about 7 challenges, between the two of them, not 1 of them was right! You could cut the tension with a knife. The match was also long for a women’s, which was a refreshing change. Our Kimmy broke away in the second set. There were a surprising number of service breaks to both players. Kimy’s smash wasn’t working well, but everything else seemed to be. She was on a mission after being the favourite early last year and was destroyed early by Petrova. With the aggressive one (Serena) out of the final, and the tournament, she saw a clear path. Her serve was on song mostly too, and despite Lee’s powerful forehand, our Kimmy broke through and won her first Aussie open.

In the post match interviews Li Na apologised to her husband for mentioning his snoring that kept her up before her semi final. But the most interesting comment came from our Kimmy. “I know this might sound strange, but before the tournament I chipped a tooth and I had to go see a dentist here in Melbourne. And he said when I win the tournament, I should thank him so, ‘thank you’’. It was funny and unexpected from the very serious Kim we had seen over the last two weeks. She must have been relieved. But I was curious as to who the mystery dentist was. It would be a while before Kim was in the main interview room. Li Na was looking to get her PC out of the way and was in pretty quickly. I wanted to ask her if her husband was annoyed after she mentioned his snoring, but after losing a final, I didn’t think she would be in the mood for jokes. She was distressed during the match, as a Chinese fan had yelled something out during the point, distracting the very player they were cheering for??..and therefore was NOT SMART.
Clive the old pro, with tough skin, started off the questions and most of the 1st few questions, although he was annoyed at Li’s lack of answering. He felt she would pretend her English wasn’t great so she would have to face less questions after the game. Someone beat me to the punch and asked my question about her husband. It was becoming a bad habit; you're slow n you miss out :-s. Li replied with what she said directly after the match: ‘I made a lot of jokes for him, I just say, it doesn’t matter if you are fat, skinny ugly or handsome, I always follow him, always love him.’ Our Kimmy had the best line in the speeches though, saying how she finally felt like we could call her ‘Aussie Kim’, after winning the Aussie open. Li would still clean up with the prize money but maintained her husband was still safely in control of the credit cards. It’s dangerous to have a shopping addiction, when you have that much money.

Kim was still doing the interview rounds with channel 7 so I sat in front of the TV and decided to switch to ESPN, a luxury we don’t get on free to air TV at home. When I discovered that during the breaks, the camera would keep rolling for us and you could hear the commentator’s discussion during the break. They were reeling off a few stats about both players just to get the most important point ready for the next segment. The add break finished, as they repeated the stats again in a smooth confident fashion, contrasting to their uncertainty in the break: ‘is that right? Is that right? Is it is it first Chinese player in the final of a grand slam’, ‘That was a long final for women wasn’t it? Was that a new record?’This was something that could only be observed on special tennis TV. Then it was time for the Clijsters interview on ESPN. Kim was ushered in during the next break and was getting miked up for the show. The interviewer casually asked; ‘So who was the mystery dentist then?’ ‘Oh just some guy in South Yarra’ Damn she had stolen my question almost word for word. On the plus side, she had asked it off air, so there was a good chance most people in the world wouldn’t know about it. I still had a chance to ask. I had other questions prepared, more serious ones, but I was so nervous I couldn’t tell the good ones from the crap ones. I knew I would freeze up in the interview, and not ask them, and then someone would swoop in and ask the perfect respectable questions anyway, so I might as well go for the funny/silly one. It was much more my style and hopefully the winner was in a good mood. I also hoped I didn’t get kicked out for trying.

Kim entered the room, with the big trophy. It was a packed house of course, and I was excited to catch a glimpse of the winner with her new toy, as well as just being there for the interview. After getting some of the ins and outs of the match out of the way, Kimmy was asked about her future. She revealed she would not be playing a full year next year, getting on a bit, but she would like to keep playing till the Olympics. She was also asked if her daughter understood what was happening, being so young. “She asked me who’s that trophy for? And is it for you? So she was excited. I lose, so she’s seen me disappointed, but it’s no big deal for her. Kim felt now she was a bit older she had less nerves in a final and that helped. Then someone jumped in and asked what happened to her tooth at the airport. ‘I chipped it on a nice soft rice cracker, nothing hard, just a piece that wasn’t cooked well or something. My tooth was gone completely, so I went to the dentist.’ It was now or never, I had to jump in for the follow up question. It wasn’t just the pressure of a full room, this was a final and the whole world was watching and listening, but I had to do it. ‘Are you going to name the mystery dentist?’ ‘I actually don’t remember his name, he was someone near chapel st.’ There was laughter at the fact she couldn’t remember him, so I was relieved. I had pinched my big moment. It may have been a short answer, but I was just happy as usual to take a breath. The interview was over late and women’s tennis was over for the open with a 3-6 6-3 6-3 win to Aussie Kim.

There was still a big doubles match going on centre court between the famous yanks: Bob and Mike Bryan, and Bhupathi and Paes the famous Indian pair. The 2 pairs have had many battles in grand slam titles and it was always the Bryans winning the day. I thought it would be great to ask the big American pair something, but suspected I’d be less nervous talking to the losing pair, with less press in the room. And as it was a day for firsts, asking a question to a Grand Slam final winner, I thought I’d ask my 1st question to a losing player, even if it was only doubles. The Bryans had played a perfect game, with a perfect serve, and there were no drams with the trash talk for the Indian pair. I was going to make a comment about the 'vamos', but again was beaten to the punch. “Did you want to throw a couple of vamos’s in there?’ ‘We’ve been known to do that, that was plan b.’ The Bryans have won 5 grand slam titles in Australia, and attribute it to being fresh at the start of the season. They were now on 10 GS titles in total, and creeping up on the Woodies 11, so that motivated them to keep going.

The Indian pair seemed understandably peeved, but felt with the Bryans on fire they did all they could and didn’t know if they would be back next year. I decided to fire in the last question, following the feel of the interview. ‘Do you feel like you’re closer to beating them at a grand slam?’ ‘It’s the 1st time we have played them as a team at a grand slam. We played well, but they played a perfect match. As long as we keep playing this high quality and keep each other happy, then we’ll keep playing together’, the experienced Paes said. I wasn’t aware Paes partner was new so hopefully that didn’t show. None the less I had asked 2 questions in a day on finals day and was proud I made some history of my own. 1 day to go, bring on the men’s final, and hopefully a good game!

Day 14 -30 Jan

Men’s final day had arrived and we were well and truly in a weird mini heat wave. It was the last day for all of us. I bumped into Carlos and we decided that seeing as we wouldn’t have tennis to watch until night time, we would walk to grand slam oval and grab some freebies, and of course see what band was playing. ANZ and their mini fluro electric fans were making the most of the warm weather. It had been so cold for most of the open; they couldn’t pay the crowd to even take a free fan. They now had 3 hours to hand out about 20000 fans at best guess, by the looks of it. We approached the stage and I heard another familiar sound. It was Amy Meredith singing ‘young at heart’! I was excited cause I am a fan (pardon the pun). I tried to share this with Carlos but he couldn’t get into the hype, not knowing who the band was. My fav song of theirs is 'lieing' and once it began I dragged Carlos to the front of the stage to the mini mosh pit, so small I was right under the lead singer’s nose. Carlos was wondering which member of the band was Amy? He was particularly confused about this because every member of the band was male lol. I told him not to worry and began to sing along with the boys. It was definitely a highlight of the day.

By the end of the hour I had collected so much free stuff I began to look like a media hobo. We had picked up some sweat bands and headphones, shower gels, deodorants, soaps, binoculars, and of course the mini fans. Not that I would need head bands?? I told Carlos I was 8th on the list for the men’s final and that he could have my spot seeing as I would not be allowed in. I was day pass trash on finals day. People would only look at the tag around my neck, rather than my face, thanks to previous day pass delinquents. We weren’t confident they would give Carlos my spot, but tried to plead with the desk lady; ‘he’s a very important man, producer’’ I said, but she said ‘sorry I can’t, nice try’. We gave it a shot. Nothing to lose on the last day. What would they do? Kick us out?

The elite reporters’ were invited upstairs to see the match live and once again I found myself a desk complete with mini flat screen, and settled in. The channel 7 commentators once more began to analyse the big matchup between Novak Djokovich and Andy Murray. I thought Murray was a chance, even after Novak had knocked out King Roger. But the consensus among my media friends was that Andy was playing rather boring, safe tennis. Instead of trying to hit winners, he was simply being careful, safely returning the ball over the net, waiting for his opponent to make a mistake. Personally I liked the Scot and was cheering for him, but knew it would be a challenge. I hadn’t watched as much live tennis as last year so couldn’t say for sure who would win. In 2010 I saw nearly all of Rogers matches, and was strong in believing he was going to win the final. He was machine like, relaxed, yet so determined. Murray was playing well just not at Rogers’s level. This time there was no Roger, only a fully fit, 90% less lazy Novak. He had always had the talent and knew without work, he could still make the finals, just not win most of them. In the age of Roger and Rapha, you were never a chance without the work.
Jim Courier was asked who he thought would win and why. He said that Djokovich could struggle in the heat, and mentioned his previous retirements due to heat exhaustion. I was so proud that my question had made waves all the way to the big guns at channel 7, and they were mentioning it on a national broadcast. We all knew being at night though, as Andy Murray replied to me; that there would be no sun to bother Novak, and decidedly less heat. One of my media friends had been at Murrays’ last practice session and spoken to his fitness guy. She said he was injury free going into the final. But I knew if Andy was hurt, he certainly wouldn’t want the media to know the truth anyway. So I watched the pre match hype on TV, and the channel 7 team had somehow got the real scoop. Andy Murray had quietly been nursing a calf strain or quad. He was obviously keeping it quiet as Roger was torn apart when he referred to his back when losing a big match last year. It was a surprise to most of us and only made us feel the quality of the game might suffer if Andy was hurt.

The Game soon began with a competitive 1st set. Novak made the break to pinch it though. Andy seemed frustrated with the umpire, which he later told us was an odd situation, as he was agreeing with the umps overrule that the ball was in. The umpire seemed to snap at Andy anyway even though they shared the same view. No doubt Andy’s frustration with the match made him anal and point out that he thought the ball was well in…perhaps unnecessarily. The score line did not improve for Andy. Novak was in the zone, moving well and hitting winners. And Andy was not moving well, at Novaks his mercy. It was similar to watching Rapha play with an injury, like a wounded animal with a tennis racket.

The only thing that lifted our moods was when the desk lady kept announcing free stuff we could come and grab every now and then. It was a bit like a game show. My bag was already full of free junk but I had never been around on the last day of the tournament before so was making the most of the giveaways. Come on down it’s a giant Aussie open camera vest! Do I really need a vest that doesn’t fit? Hell yeah!!! Restaurant cards could be handy. I do live in Melbourne. But the biggest clean up of all was the masses of free food that we were offered. Either the caterers overestimated, or the corporates were put off their food, due to the lack of quality in the match. It was however a long match, even if it wasn’t close. It was as if it went for 4 or 5 sets. Andy never looked to come back at any stage, even after breaking Novak a couple of times. Novak would break his heart and break straight back. I had plenty of time to think of a question for the winner, even grow a pair and think of one for the loser, but I felt that what I was coming up with was cliché or perhaps had previously been asked. I then tried to come up with more unique questions, like ‘Why is Andy murrays mum wearing a skull and cross bones jumper??? It’s a tad odd and aggressive. Andy had lost the match, so I wasn’t about to step on his toes. Djokovich had almost pulled out of his ¼ final last year against smiling Joe Tsonga. He later claimed he had eaten something nasty, so I really wanted to ask; ‘Last year you were the victim of a meat pie, did you stay away from them this year?’ But I had already tried comedy with Kimmy yesterday. Kimmy wore a bright green outfit for the final the day before, and won, so I did wonder if Novak was worried when he saw Andy Murray come out in the same bright green outfit? I’d say the straight sets victory proved it didn’t really bother him :-p.

Novak might have found out about Andy’s injury as he was running him all over the court. The match had ended and the post match speeches did not have the same zing as Clijsters and her tooth story, or Li Na and her husband’s snoring keeping her up. Andy Murray was determined to get this all over quickly, and without warning, he was on his way to the interview room.
Andy looked down of course, but said surprisingly that he felt better than last year (after losing the final to R –fed). He didn’t know why. Maybe he was in shock from the fact that he played well, and not feeling like he missed many balls, but lost anyway. They had some long rallies. Andy said his semi was tough but played down his injury saying he felt ok. He sure didn’t look it on court. Novak had served extremely well and Andy was at his mercy. Andy then spouted Sharapovas line, that there is more to life than tennis. The poor questions from the media, towards the end of the interview, didn’t help his spirits: ‘Are you frustrated getting into a final 3 times and losing them all?’ No S*&t! ‘Well obviously I’d rather win 3 than lose 3 so yeah, I’m frustrated’. Hrrm it was probably the wrong time to ask about the skull and cross bones jumper.

Andy moped out and we all waited for the new champ to enter. It was great to see such a big trophy in person, close up. It was flashier than Kimmy's plate. Novak started to talk and then he saw the cup placed on the desk far away. He stopped and said ‘yeah bring it to me’. We all laughed as he hugged his new baby. The media were after some dirt but Novak praised his friend Andy, saying he would win a final some day. He also kept the celebrations after the match low key, out of respect for his friend. His new found confidence had come about after winning the Davis cup. He also talked about how he made changes off court to improve things. Some private emotional issues troubled him and he found having two coaches a tad confusing, cause he was getting mixed msgs. He said he didn’t like to look at who he was playing next in a tournament, just taking each match as it comes.

Tactically he knew Andy liked to control the pace of the game, so Novak tried to mix it up a bit. He also tried to open up the court to leave room for hitting winners. At the suggestion there might be a changing of the guard, from Roger and Raphas dominance, he said he didn’t think that would happen as those two still rule tennis. But he thought it was nice to see come new contenders in the finals. I’ll bet he did! He also thought that sometime soon he and Andy could play doubles, as they had discussed it. I was really hoping to ask a question, but didn’t want to step on the big guns toes. They had some serious artlicles to write, and what’s more, were getting payed and on the clock! As usual 2 of my questions ended up being asked so I might as well have gone for it. I wanted to ask if Novak felt he was bridging the gap between Rog and Raph, and also his goals for the year e.g. to win as many tournaments as possible or take the number one ranking, but it seemed too obvious. Of course he wanted all of that! I also wondered if he felt the extra days rest had helped him, but again someone with guts asked it for me. These players, and some of the media travel all around the world, and the players have already answered most questions a million times, it’s just that some of us weren’t there to hear it n need to know now lol.

I should have listened to Clive and not worried what I was asking the whole tournament, as many before me had come up with a lot worse questions. Again towards the end of the interview, the rest of the media like me were also running out of things to ask, and the chance for their big moments. So began to ask the unnecessary again: ‘Davis cup now, are you in the best form of your career?’ ‘obviously’, ‘are you going to celebrate much tonight?’ ‘What do you think?’, ‘do you want or expect more grand slams?’ ‘I don’t want to stop here, no’. The answers were getting shorter and tiring, even for the winner. So the Serbs began their time, asking questions in their native language. Just like that the Open was over. I was disappointed not to have stolen my moment with the winner. Novak didn’t have the best reputation though, personality wise. He laughed at a foreign reporter with poor English, like a ten year old. Then while laughing said; 'sorry, I’m not laughing at you’, and then continued to laugh uncontrollably at the reporter?? Novak had played well though, had to give him that. I should have listened to the wise tennis fan at Maccas that told me he would win the Tournament.

I was leaving with many memories from the Open. Like the time I tripped over some camera equipment in full view of the head, of the head of the media's office window, and began sliding down the wall in slow motion. I did this, as in order to save myself, I would have had to drop all my belongings. So yes I chose not to drop them and look like a tool. I was trying not to draw attention to myself, but of course in doing that, I dragged the whole thing out n made it longer n more embarrassing. Ah well, I made a French reporter laugh as she rescued me from the floor. More than a tad embarrassing. But I would never forget the intriguing relationship between us media and the players, Wazza and the roo, Roger and Andy denying their injuries, and the brave girl who dared to question the private finances of the World’s best tennis players. I also felt privileged to get a private insight into what Uncle Tony really says to Rapha ….allegedly. I certainly wouldn’t forget being there for all the finals pc’s, the highest honour, which wasn’t easy to achieve. But it was worth it. I would cover this event again, any day of the week or year. We all said some official goodbyes to staff and media friends. I collected my hobo bag full of goodies and sadly walked from one of the best experiences money can’t buy.

All that and more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.Peace out*.

*Disclaimer: The Sports Lounge may contain 2/3 of your daily fibre intake. No this does not mean we will give you the shits. Warning this last paragraph may not be accurate. Conditions apply and portions of this blog have been edited for your discomfort. Spoken by Tan for the Sports Lounge Party Melbourne (say that last sentence really fast).