Ahh the smell of, I was going to say grass was back in the air, but not only is it not green anymore, its hard plastic stuff. It doesn’t matter, I was back in heaven!. Last year the Australian Open was the best 10 days of my life, & that’s weird for a huge AFL fan to say! But this place has the best tennis players in the world, and even the best in history, so it was exciting! I was looking forward to seeing the quality in action again, as I entered Rod Laver Arena, I hoped to start the Open by seeing Roger Federer (for those living under a big gay rock, he’s the most successful tennis player of all time!). Instead what I saw was an empty court. Roger had already defeated his opponent in something ridiculous, like under an hour maybe?? The slogan of the Australian Open this year was ‘a whole new level’, but they mite have been better off going with ‘Blink and you’ll miss it’. Rogers opponent was nobody, but we expected more of a fight than that! When they said a whole new level, I think they meant up, not down. It was only day one, so we didn’t think too much of it. Little did we know this would be the start of many lightening fast thrashings to come!
If I couldn’t see the match, I would at least go and watch the great man talk in my first press conference (PC) for 2011! Roger is a marvel with words, mainly because he can speak five different languages fluently! And he sits there for ages answering mountains of questions from media all around the world. I had no idea what he’s saying for the latter part of the PC, but I still sat there marveling at him, hanging on his every word. There wasn’t much to ask today though, it was another clinical victory without breaking sweat. Roger talked about his plan to just keep pressing, with no need for risks and the fresh outlook and advice from a new coach/trainer. With talk of the match boring even the great man, questions switched to his personal life. ‘can your twins play yet?’…’no, they’re too young to pick up a racket’. ‘can you talk about some of your best wins?’…”I remember losses more, cause I don’t have as many of those. You win, you move on’…We all laughed, he has a point. ‘what do you dream about?’..man we were really reaching now!...’I don’t dream much, even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you about it’. Another good point! You can see why he’s the best! Surprisingly Roger followed cricket and the Ashes, and some English players were watching Roger play. The English were in winning form, but an English journalist was basking in it too much. R-Fed put him back in his place: ‘you aren’t always going to be like that!’ more laughs.
It was time to check out our Aussie girl Grothy on court, for my first official match. She had a tough opponent in Wickmayer. Our Grothy was getting smashed in the first set, with only a couple of quality shots sporadically. But in the second set she started taking some more risks and hitting fast winners down the line, and more frequently! Grothy somehow managed to take the second set. Wiki was rejuvenated at the start of the 3rd set killing our hopes, as Grothy’s errors crept back in. Wickmayer seemed to be idolizing the annoying maria sharapova, taking her time consuming thinking moments, as she stands in the corner picking her racket. A bit of rain only delayed the inevitable end. Wiki became increasingly annoying as the match went on. Even after hawkeye called Groths ball in, Wiki went and stared down the mark on the line where the ball landed, as if trying to intimidate the white paint! Then points as if shes some kind of all knowing tennis god, telling us where the ball really landed in her fantasy land. It was a little too much attitude for the first day! Groth ran her legs off to gain advantage, only to lose it again, and the game. She kept fighting our Gorthy, even with the errors. After a long service game by Groth, she holds on, only to be out served by wiki in the next game. Our Aussie was out in the first round! Much to the shock of the crowd. All our hopes were with LLeyts and Stosur now!
Novak Djokovic was on court smashing another unknown when I started to take more notice of this years most interesting new feature to the Open! A camera suspended on four wires to the ceiling, moving around with the instincts of a cat and the speed of a mongoose. They called it SPIDER CAM! But was it friend or foe? It seemed to keep getting in the players way, as it was finding its feet. One player couldn’t get the ball from the ball kid because spider cam was dangling in the way! Then as spider cam retreated to the dizzy heights of the ceiling, it almost knocked out Novak Djokovic! Im not embellishing. These were unplayable conditions. Hopefully the guys in the control room would tweak that before the final!... Blink n you’d miss Novaks victory too! I had still seen more tennis on day one than last year, back when our Dokic was blown off the court without fairytale!
Day 2 -18 Jan
Our Stosur was scary good! Shots low and hard, and yes, over in a blink! It was officially her biggest win ever in a grand slam, which brought a smile to Sammy’s face. She has long been a suspected one of our lot, but if she was, we didn’t know about it. I was looking forward to watching the entertainment machine Rapha! But alas he was on and off the court as Fast as Roger! I had already missed both of the big guns! Rapha was 6 love 5 love, and then his opponent retired from injury...or from embarrassment. The pure massacres for Rapha and Roger were over before lunch! Centre court was barren again and they had already moved through all the program for the day by early afternoon! The word came through that Alicia Molik was being moved to the big court, so the people in the crowd had something to do!
It was good to see another Aussie out there! At times there are good shots from our girl, but other times she was hitting the ball like a 5 year old that had just picked up a tennis racket! Don’t get me wrong, I want our girl to be successful, as an Aussie, but it may be like waiting for Godot to arrive! The match went to 3 sets. Alicia broke her opponents serve to tie the match 5 all in the last set. She had found her second wind, with the crowd behind her! She did it! One of her most favourite victories at home on the big stage! I wandered down stairs to hear her thoughts, and instead walked in on the depressing facial expression of Delpotro. He always looked sad, even when he wins! But this time he had good reason to be upset, as he was nursing a wrist injury with a 4-6 month wait to play again. He just needed time, but right now he didn’t have it. He felt his shots were too inconsistent, some good, some bad, but he was not near the level he was at when he won the US open, by his own admission. He kind of bummed me out, even after watching Alicia get over the line.
We were on a small tennis high! The reason I was looking forward to hearing Alicia’s PC, was because last year I found her to be the most open and honest, genuine interviewee, always saying exactly what she’s thinking. You could tell she was proud of her fighting efforts though, to pull it off! Her opponent had forced her to become aggressive, and go for the lines. She was pleased an extra gear kicked in when she needed it. ‘I felt like I won it off my own racket, it wasn’t handed to me by my opponent’. She had a way with words. It was a great reward in front of the home crowd. But she didn’t let the crowd distract her, rather, fed off their energy and used in to her advantage. She was asked if she was going to commentate on matches as she had done in previous years. But she said not this year, it was all about the tennis. Perhaps she would rethink this in a few days, but we were all minus our crystal balls. The Aussie were ruling day 2 so far, could Lleyton cap it off n make it a hat trick!? We had to wait for the night session!
Kim Clijsters was next up against Safina. Again if you have returned to you big gay rock, Safina has a history of always being the bridesmaid. She could make it to the final, but she couldn’t win it! We all felt for her and her *woe is me* demeanor. Last year Clijsters was favourite to win the tournament, and she was smashed early on in a shock exit. So we were wondering if this also, would be too close to call. That was until the match started and Clijsters destroyed Safina in embarrassing fashion. 6 love 6 love! Blink and you’ll miss it! So far I had seen more womens tennis than mens, a rarity for me at a Grand Slam, but Clijsters showed she is up there with our Sammy this year. And is it possible poor Safina was getting worse after losing all those GS finals?? Our Kimmy was back though! And she was possibly challenging the men for the biggest thrashing of the tournament! Centre court and night time tennis was supposed to feature the biggest and the best, but had been a flop, not crowd pleasing value. And to cap it off, the open had frozen over again. Not a night above about 15 degrees I’d say!
Lleyton will hopefully revive the tournament against his Wimbldon final nemesis Nalbandian. Apparently David N is still pissed after Hewitt put a ‘don’t cry for me Argentina’ poster on his door when he was 14. The rivalry had grown out of control, since Lleytons Wimbledon deteat. The best part was that the fanatics were back for 2011, again for the gay rock dwellers, the fanatics are the Aussie fans that yell out funny chants when the match needs a lift. Their Tiger Woods material killed last year! This year Julia Gillard was the butt of their jokes! A man in a bright red wig stands while the rest of the fanatics chanted ‘weve got Julia Gillard in our stand…we’ve got Julia in our stand!’ And of course the usual mobile phone gags. The crowd needed a laugh, that wasn’t provoked by lackluster tennis.
I am a Lleyton fan, and was excited to see him on court again. And yes I’m aware of the Lleyton hatred out there. But to me he’s just a guy that loves tennis, works hard, and doesn’t trust the media…oh crap that means me now! I had been a member of the media for a while, but I still felt like a fan and member of the public, gushing when a big name palyer walks passed, trying to act professional, then giggling in the lift like a school girl when nobodys looking. But when Lleyton is on court, I become the fan again, its involuntary. Lleyton was off to a great start 6-3, quick to get going, but since the fanatics had yelled out ‘don’t cry for me Argentina, David had lifted and he Broke Hewi’s serve to take the second set 6-4. Errors crept in for Hewi under pressure, but he managed to break David back and run away to 5-2 in the 3rd set, bouncing around and fist pumping. He was always excited to be back home, and in the lead! Hewi took the third set for a 2 sets to one lead (6-3). Our man had thankfully recovered.
But we don’t like speaking too soon now do we? He was on top in the 4th set and with a break, but David suddenly broke back to make it 3 sets all. He showed you can’t afford to celebrate too early or afford a lapse at this level. David broke our Hewi again, with Hewi breaking back at 5-3 to make it 5-4, still down. It was a break off! And a real arm wrestle. It was also looking like this could be one of the first competitive and long matches of the Open! There was only one problem…well 2 actually. 1. David was getting on top of my Lleyts, and 2 we were freezing to death! I was trying to think of a question to ask my favourite, in hope he would win, but it started to look almost uncertain. A tie breaker in the 4th set, and Lleyts was 4 love down. Looks like A five setter on centre court!!??? A novelty this year. Nalbandian taking the 4th set winning 7-1 in the tie breaker, along with taking our hopes. It was a seesaw battle, and one we didn’t win!
Lleyton seemed fatigued in the 5th set, and David was running away with the match, but Lleyton fough his way back to tie things at the end of the set. Some match points were squandered, David then broke Lleytons serve to pinch the match, and the Aussies pride. I never got to ask Lleyton a question last year, mainly because I like him and I don’t want to piss him off. He hates the media and so I knew if I asked him something there would be bad blood between us. I had better chance of keeping our good/non-existent relationship by asking him a question when he wins…this was clearly not that time! It was round one, and he had lost. 2 years in a row I felt I would miss out. I tried to psych myself up to ask him something, and I almost had myself convinced, until Lleyton faced the media at 2am, mad as a cut snake. I suppose if I just played for 5 hours and lost I might be too, but this was mad on steroids!
He didn’t offer any Tomic like excuses excuse’s about his eyes not working at 2 o’clock in the morning. Instead he bit the head off any reporter daring to ask a question. Someone commented on the closeness of the matches Hewitt had played with Nalbandian over the years. Hewi shot a look of death at the reporter and said ‘Wimbledon final wasn’t that close!’ Again under the rock there, the Wimbledon final was about 10 years ago, so nice to know Lleyts had moved on :-s. We all cowered. I wanted to ask how his body felt during the match and after his new operation, but I didn’t want my head bitten off so I stayed quiet until we were all intimidated out of the room. The first round exit had well and truly killed his mood. I had seen him shy in the PC’s, I had seen him frightened and unsure, and I had even seen him mildly pissed off when he won even! But nothing as serious as this! There were no right questions, and there certainly weren’t any answers. He turned every positive question about his game into a negative in an attempt to piss us all off so we wouldn’t ask him anything anymore, and then he could leave quickly….it F-ing worked! Let me tell you, he’s smarter than he looks :-P…But 2 years in a row, no question from me to Lleyts, and now he was gone, and so early , so yes I’m talking about him a lot, seeing as it’s my only chance :-P.
Day 3 -19 jan
Venus Williams started poorly, then blasted her unknown opponent in the second set. Nobody in the media could pronounce her name and had to pause their radio news reports to ask for assistance. ‘ZAHLAVOVA’, have a go! Venus was limping in the final set and still managed to pull off a win. The crowd were boo-ing her every time she adjusted her ball toss. The accusatory boo’s suggesting it was a deliberate tactic to distract her opponent. She decided to wear an outfit of mismatched colours, in the worlds shortest skirt, with no shorts underneath! Just standard underwear, without the ‘under’ part. Every gust of wind, lifted her skirt while she served and gave the crowd an unpleasant eyeful of butt!, followed by a groan of discomfort. After the match she was asked to explain her outfit. The reporter was probably referring to how revealing it was, but Venus thought it was a fashion question, and instead told us it was Alice in Wonderland inspired…Nobody knew what that meant, and certainly not without a semi-detailed explanation…which did not follow. We were all dieing to know what her injury was, but when asked she said it was a ‘psoas’ injury. Sports tonight reporter Leonard Cohen spoke up for all us confused and said ‘What is that??? Im not a doctor??’ ‘Neither am I’ said Venus. Touché. She repeated the Psoas word and said it was around the groin area. After the media conference, the ol pro Clive asked me what the Psoas word was again but at the time none of us could remember it! Personally I thought she deliberately made up a funny word to watch us all get confused, and then have a laugh out the back as we all scramble for answers. One sure way to test….ask her what it is again next time.
Clive was at the Open last year and didn’t recognize me until I put my cats premiership hat on :-P. It’s been a year so it’s easily forgiven. I remember Clive as we once took on Serena Williams together, and he had many years of experience I could learn from.Fernando Verdasco was in trouble on Vodaphone Arena, but Tipsarevic couldn’t close out the match! Nando limped home in style (literally) 6-0 in the 5th set as Tippy cracked the sads and gave up! Our Spanish friend Carlos was happy with another Spaniard through. He has interviewed some of the biggest tennis stars in the world and Formula 1 too, including the standoffish Alonso from Ferrari.
Hennin, Wozniacki and Sharapova in her comeback, were all through, as well as last years Open sensation Li Na. Dokic was disappointing to say the least, wiped out after her great 1st round win. She cleared the court for the big nite match between R-Fed and Simon. Seeing Simons Lime Green shorts, I had Dee ja Voo to a night match of theres a few years ago, and this time round, their match was even closer. Still recovering from the 5 hour Hewitt match, we were ready for more! After 2 sets easilly to Roger, Simon suddenly lifted, working the angles like a pro. He took the next 2 sets from the master, after what looked to be an early night for us. Some of the rallies were awesome, the crowd gasping. Roger finally broke serve, hitting the ball down the line past Simon as he lunged to the umpires chair. Roger yelled and brought out his fist pump! Rarely seen and only brought out for the big points. A lone drunk in the crowd was dared to yell out ‘Go Simon’ instead of ‘Sim-on’ and barely got through it without cracking up. Nobody packs a stadium like Rog and even his Press conference was full for a 2nd round match.
Jim Courier asked Roger after the match if he could remember the last time he bombed out in the 2nd round. Rog said ‘94’. Courier corrected him and said ‘93’. Rog said ‘you’re wrong!’ Jim said ‘no you’re wrong Rog. Rog said ‘I just played 5 sets give me a break!’ The crowd laughed and ate up the impressive unrehearsed comedy routine. Federer attributed letting Simon back into the match with the cold weather. Apparently it is harder to hit winners and put balls away as the temperature drops. When asked if Simon is becoming a worry for him, R-Fed gave his usual diplomatic version of ‘I was totally on top and kicked his ass for most of it!’
Day 4 - 20 Jan
Kim Clijsters and Nadal were on and off court like it was a daily shower. Unfortunately Alicia Molik was blown away by Petrova, Petrova famous for doing the same thing to Clijsters in the previous year. Our Kimmy was a favourite for the tournament at the time. Molik talked about how she is happy in her personal life and in tennis, and she doesn’t plan on giving up on the game any time soon. Shes a tennis tragic and loves the game by her own admission, and wants to work hard on her errors.
Tennis had temporarily died on the main courts in the afternoon, so I decided to put on my civilian disguise and head out to the outside courts with the real fans. I eventually squeezed in a Joe Tsonga match, who won in 3 sets but struggled to close the match out in the 3rd set. Joe is still one of my favourite players here. He’s a nice guy and always good for a laugh in media conferences. After the game a call was put out for English questions to Joe…no answer..a second call was then made for English questions…and still nothing. ‘C’mon, c’mon, lets go’ Joe piped up, excited and wanting us to ask him something so he can practice his English. Rarely is a player excited about answering questions and even requesting more! He is now officially Smilin Joe to me. It’s not long though before the French press launch in, in his native language. But it was time to head to the comedy club and watch Bernard Tomic, and after last years ground breaking paerformance at ‘2 o’clock in the morning, when his eyes spontaneously stopped working, we couldn’t wait to hear how happy he was playing in the daytime. Bernard was in trouble though with Nadal up next, so this would be his only happy post match interview. ‘We asked Rapha what he does to relax before a game, and he said he goes to the Aquarium, what do you do?’, asked a media member. ‘I go to the Aquarium too, haha…Na I go to the zoo’…*silence*…Bernard was the only one laughing at his jokes, shocker.
With a wait till the night session, I went out to court 2 where Stepanek was playing Isner, who was part of the longest match in history at Wimbledon last year. Another record was set that day as the hot sun had made its biggest appearance so far! The loud Americans were out in force as Isner was on top. Bagdadis and Delpotro were on centre court but I decided to have a look at Andy Murry, who oddly seemed to like playing on Margaret court arena, or even Hisense arena (the artist formerly known as vodaphone). It was almost impossible to get a seat at Margaret court, you had to sell your first born child just to get into the queue! Thankfully I finally found the media seating and was ushered straight in. There were flashes of brilliance from Scotty in an easy 3 setter. And after the match Andy stayed around making sure he signed an autograph for just about everyone in the crowd, only stopping to shake his arm as he was so tired, he could barely reach up to sign. He eventually went inside, either because he was too tired, or ran out of ink! What a good man. Is he generous or doing some serious PR to win over the Aussie crowd? After the game he talked about the amazing atmosphere on Margaret court. Shame he will have to deal with centre court from now on, without the entire Scottish army behind him.
Back on center court where there was a different atmosphere, and no shortage of it. A war broke out between Cypress and Argentinia. The Cypress army won on and off the court, cheering Marcus Bagdadis on to a great 4 set victory. Delpotro was down about his loss to Marco, but as I said it was hard to tell cause his facial expression is always the same, as if someone has just run over the family pet. His wrist injury had likely not healed yet, so we’ll give him a break. Hopefully that optimism can crack him and cause a smile somewhere down the line, cause he sure wasn’t hitting the balls there anymore.Day 5 - Jan 21
Another Wozniacki win passed me by, as all her matches have been first up at 11 am, and I don’t do mornings for anyone, let alone the no. 1 ranked women’s player. The ranking was in dispute in the tennis industry, as Caroline had earned it by only winning minor tournaments and zero grand slams.
Justine Hennin fought against Kusnetsova but couldn’t pinch the 2nd set after a long tie breaker. Post match Justine described her opponent as more aggressive, taking her opportunities. And even though Justine has won about 16 out of their last 18 matches, she said she knew it would be a tough match, even with the upper hand. She said her elbow injury was no excuse, even though it had been healing slowly over 6 months already, she was still wearing an arm brace the size of a mack truck.
The big guns Roddick, Djokovic and Sharapova all went through in a fairly easy ride. Djokovic’s opponent retired. Andy Roddick said after the game that his opponent Haase, didn’t blink until late in the game. Even though Andy dominated the match on the scoreboard in the third set, he surprisingly said Haase played his best tennis here.
The comedian in Andy was dieing to rear his head. When asked for his comments on Andre Aggassi getting into the hall of fame, Roddick replied ‘Well it was about as surprising as the sun coming up this morning…no, he’s a big star and relatable cause of his success and pitfalls. ‘
Andy was then asked what it’s like to be interviewed by Jim courier after the match. He replied ‘getting interviewed by Jim, is a great experience for him’...Thankfully he smiled so we knew he was being sarcastic.’
All the stars were a little on edge today, as it soon became apparent that all the players gossip to eachother like teachers in the staffroom at lunchtime. The cause of all this defensiveness began with Caroline Wozniacki. The South American media told the Danish media that they want to get to know Caroline a bit better, and that she always answers the questions the same way, that she was boring. So Caroline walked into the media conference and announced that the reason her answers were always the same, was because she felt she was always getting asked the same questions. “So cause I know what you’re going to ask me, I’m just going to start with my answer.’..announced Caroline. For the next 5 minutes Wozniacki conducted her own press conference and asked the media, or rather challenged them to ask her some more interesting questions. So the media decided to comply and ask questions about her personal life rather than the match. As ridiculous as this seems, in hindsight reading the interview transcript, it wasn’t a bad move by Caroline, keeping us all on our toes, and we now know more about her. However the sting of finding out she gave ‘boring’ answers had obviously got to her, insulted her, and she would have no doubt shared this with the other players who all became defensive in their own post match interviews, even though they weren’t being attacked. They just felt that way.
Roddicks sarcasm was a little rude, and even the great professional and super composed Roger Federer was a fair bit standoffish with us. Quite ususual, especially as he was through again in straight sets. Roger said the match was more intense and tougher than it looked. And after his last 5 set match he recovered well, unlike Nalbandian who faced a tough opoponent after Hewitt in ‘Bernakis’, who I have never heard of, but hey, if Rog says so…R-Fed said his body feels good and he feels he is moving well. After playing so much tennis he tries to mix things up in his game to keep himself excited. Big forehand and slice on centre court, gets him going. He admits it takes a little while to get used to the centre court experience with all the sights and sounds, larger spaces. Roger was then asked what he thought of Bernard Tomics game and replied ‘I like to spend more time with my kids, rather than watching Bernard’…ZING! Roger was then asked a question by a brave reporter who wrote for a financial institute. ‘What do you invest all your prize and sponsorship money in?, properties, shares?’. There was a pause then laughter from the media, and when Roger realized she was serious he replied ‘we put it in the bank and sit on it, for later’…the he threw in a ‘yeah im not gonna tell you. He was then asked if he’s embarrassed by all his money, even with helping out charities. He actually said ‘yeah sure, I never expected to make this much money. It started out though as a dream, not something to make a living out of. Still shes a brave woman to ask about his personal cash flow! Especially as the players were all a little on edge.
After the match I jumped into the lift and relived what I became famous for last year…taking elevator rides with friends and relatives of famous tennis players. This time I was caught off guard when Roger Federers wife squeezed into a packed lift, squashed up against me, the wife of the greatest tennis player who ever lived, mother to the spawn of the children of the greatest player ever. It seemed only fitting to let her out of the elevator first before me. She was smiling quietly to herself, even though you would think she was over Roger winning by now.Livinia Nixon and Chris judd, and the mother of mini Judd all watched on as Stan Warwinka blasted the talented Monfils off court! It was over quickly but still a quality match. Warwinka was hitting well, with fast powerful winners. It’s a good thing it was a great match because Venus Williams practically walked out on court, waved and then walked off..waving again. She barely made it through the first game of the match, before her Psoas snapped! Is that’s how the psoas works?? Whatever it is?? We still don’t know and neither does Venus id say. She screamed and called for the trainer, but before he made it to the court, the reality hit, there was no point going on. She was done and so was day 5. It was too painful to move and a rare thing for her to retire from a grand slam. But this was serious, and doctors advice was enough.
Celebrity Saturday was moocho dissapointingo this year. Molly Meldrum was the only c-grade celeb in sight, and there were no a’s and b’s except luke mitchell from Home and Away, who I’ve never even seen. You know it’s a slow day if the best celeb is someone you don’t know!
Schiavone was through on Friday, flying a little under the radar, along with Soderling and Zvonereva. Vera had come a long way since last year, after having the match in the bag she was rolled by Azarenka in the third set.
My favourite interviewee joe Tsonga suffered an untimely exit to Dolgopolov, who sounded like a creature out of Star Wars. Relatively unknown, he would later prove to be an even bigger giant killer at the Open.
With the Frenchman gone I would miss the calls of Allez Allez!’ from the crowd, the French version of c’mon!. But Rapha was still around so ‘vamos’! was still alive, and also proved to play a big role on day 6.
The doubles does not often feature in the big news, but today a gang war broke out on the outside courts, and it wasn’t in the crowd for a change. The famous Indain duo of Paes and Bhupati were playing on one of the outside courts against Lopez and Monaco. Lopez, apparently well known on tour as a nice guy, was suddenly irate and began arguing with the umpire and players, pushing the officials and opponents, yelling, trying to get his message across to Paes and Bhupathi…But what was all the fuss about??Why so angry, did they say something about your mother Lopez??? Would you believe it was all because the Indian pair were using the word vamos? The Spanish word for c’mon!, which is often used by Spanish players and fans to motivate the players.
The Indian pair were not using the word to offend the Spanish pair, or to try and get under their skin, but have apparently been using the word for years just because they like it. Lopez was furious and after being beaten by Paes and his mate, still wanted to continue the argument on court. The Indian boys were over it, but Lopez would not let them walk off court. Paes said he supposed it would be like Lopez and partner using an Indian word to motivate themselves, so really who cares? No big deal.
I got in the lift to go up for my first Nadal match of the tournament. The lift attendant told me I couldn’t bring my soft drink in the lift, and refused to take me up for the start of the match. To make matters worse the drink was lemon lift. No lift in the lift just didn’t seem fair? As I argued my case Alicia Molik and friends got in the lift and caught up on my soft drink debate. I told the lift guy I had been doing it all week no probs and was going to miss the start of the game, but he made me step out. Alicia and I looked at each other in disbelief, rolling our eyes, at eachother, but about the lift man. Alicia’s friend was holding a piece of fruit and she was also forced out of the lift. Alicia told her friend to shove it in her purse and get in the lift so they didn’t miss the start of Bernard Tomics big match. I stood there sculling the soft drink, cheered on by Alicias group, and got back in the lift. ‘Was it a Margareta, or something? said Alicia’s friend. ‘No it was just a soft drink, but it’s not helping the diabetes, thanks lift man!’ When I got to our seats, missing the 1st 3 games due to lift guy, I had to sit on the isle seat. I sensed I had pinched someones seat in a packed media area. After a few games I realised I was right, not only had I pinched a seat, but it was Renee stubbs seat. At frist I couldn’t work out who she was, but I can sense celebrity power, its like a strong scent to me. I asked her if she wanted me to move, and she seemed in a hurry to achieve this, but I asked if she could wait for the break, and then we switched. Did I just order a celebrity around?? Such power! I decided to move down for a better view, where 4 spare seats were going to waste. Next thing you know, Pat Rafter and family came charging down the isle, Pat looking lost. Oh no, I think I’ve committed a worse sin….I’d done it again, twice in one night..I had stolen Pat Rafters seat! Now the odds on stealing 2 normal civilian seats in 1 night were high, especially in a big game like this. But the odds of stealing the seat of 2 celebrities in one night were almost impossible.. even on celebrity Saturday. I asked Pat if he wanted me to move…I was clearly more concerned about Pats seating welfare as he was in the A or B celebrity status grade. You win a grand slam, you mean more to me, I’m only human, and I’m a celebrity whore. Pat said it was cool and made other arrangements. My day at the open had barely begun and already I had held up Alicia Molik, pinched Renee Stubbs seat, and forced one of Australias best tennis stars to sit in the aisle stairs until the end of the service game. How many more Aussie Tennis players could I inconvenience before the night was over?? The possibilities were endless, but thankfully that was the end of that saga. A few AFL players were wandering around, as well as the guy form INXS with the porno moustache whose name I can never remember. It was really Michael Hutchence and the other guys.
In the actual game that I had come up to see, Bernard was palying well, putting up a good fight. Rapha was in a serious sweat early on, shirt soaking wet almost in the first game, and looking slightly unwell from his lingering virus. In the 2nd set Bernard broke Raphas serve twice and suddenly was 4-0 up on the world number one. But you cannot take your foot off the pedal for a second against the world number one. You could barely blink before Nadal was in front 5-4. Bernard was caught napping, and it was only about 11 pm…not 2 o’clock in the morning, so no excuses for Berny. Nadal managed to take the set and run away with the match, but at the net, he encouraged Bernard and told him to keep practicing.
After the match Tomic was asked what he learnt from this game, against the best: ‘Well, when youre up 4 love..*laughs*…Just shows you how good he is to come back from that.’ He seemed to have barely matured on last years post match interviews, but enough to notice that if you give Nadal a lot of time you aren’t going to go well against him. “He can step up and hit the ball hard.’, said Bernard. Yes it sounds obvious, but still a good insight which is helpful to be pointed out to the viewer. Bernard’s open was over, and I hadn’t asked a question yet! Last year Rapha’s English was so poor I didn’t bother asking him anything. I didn’t feel like playing translator in front of so many people. Too shy for that. He was much improved this year. I was nervous, but not as much as when I asked R-Fed a question in the previous year. I ran my question through my Spanish/Mexican friend. It was about Rapha’s health and obvious severe sweating and shirt changes. “if you don’t ask it, I will!’, he said. I suppose this forced me to pluck up the courage and ask. It was 1am, and the interview room was not as packed as usual, so seize the moment! I got the idea for this particular question from my friend Carlos, who had asked Rapha about his sweating and illness in the previous match. He had asked the question in Spanish, and told me Rapha had picked up a virus in Hawaii before the Aussie open, so I kind of felt like I couldn’t take too much credit for asking. Rapha’s discomfort on court was so severe though, us English speaking natives yearned for answers. My Mexican friend had been sitting across the isle from Raphas uncle Tony, who often chats with Rapha during matches, and yes was suspected of illegal coaching. But my Mexican friend could understand the rare language that Tony was speaking with Rapha, and was reporting to me on this rare Catalonian dialect. He tried to land an interview with Tony, but the coach insisted ‘another time’. There were not a lot of questions for the big star Rapha, and plenty of pauses, so why not jump in ey? I went for it, and asked if he was feeling ok with the obvious distress/sweating during the match, and shirt changes. He looked annoyed with me but smiled at the end of his sentence, perhaps an awkward smile. I was still learning that players don’t like you to point out their obvious weakness for their next opponent. ‘I’m still not perfect’, he said, ‘Since Doha sweating more than usual and tired during the matches. That’s the truth’. I nodded, just relieved I had got it out without upsetting the player too much, and breathed a sigh of relief. Shortly after there was a follow up question to mine about whether Rapha was concerned about playing a 5 setter in this condition. He said he didn’t know and hoped to improve, and would try to rest. If I wasn’t so busy spinning out of my head from pressure and excitement, I would have thought to ask that lol. Then Rapha made a comment slash joke about eating biscuits for the problem, and pointed to some special biscuits on the desk he was munching on. It was hard to tell if he was making a joke, or if they were literally magical medical biscuits the doctor had given him…we would soon find out. Rapha also mentioned he felt it better to win when you are playing badly, cause you expect to win when you are playing well, not surprisingly, but when you don’t play well the victory is more important and valuable cause its more difficult to achieve.
Then questions turned to Spanish, and my Mexican/Spanish friend began translating. Rapha told the Spaniards that he lost 5 pounds during the match, when they repeated the same question that I asked about the sweating, pushing the point. Rapha had obviously hidden the fault from the English speaking press because he didn’t want it all over the Aussie papers and have his next opponent finding out, so they could note his weakness and use it against him. Little did he know a couple of the English /Aussie press had all the goss anyway. Athletes are always friendlier to their own reporters. They want their country to have the exclusive and they know they will be treated with absolute niceness and positivity. I had finally asked my first question though, even if it was partly a Spanish rip off. Vamos! Its time to Vamos!.
Day 7 - 23 Jan
Earlier in the day, Li na had disposed of Azarenka. So it was a bit of a relief for the media. Last year she was fittingly knocked out of the Open by Queen Serena. German sensation Petkovic sent squeeling Sharapova on her way. We cant stand watching her cause of that stupid noise she makes, so I was pretty much the only one of the pack watching the match, in a collection of empty seats. I think I was seduced again by the celebrity power. It was lonely, but the bleeting from Maria kept me company. Petkovic joined in on the big points for synchronized squeeling, but hers was not as offensive as Marias. Petkova won in 2 sets with a late fight back from Sharapova, and extra loud grunting. When Petkova wins, she does a small victory dance for the crowd. It was an idea from one of her coaches who said she should do something to celebrate winning. And now it has become a superstition so she has to keep doing it!
I was poised to ask a question to the wonder kind, and my fellow German (but Im only a ¼). She was young, attractive, and had a personality/sense of humour ( for a German quite rare :-P). I told the old pro Clive that I would ask about the biggest improvement to her game over the past year, but during the interview I got nervous and sensed my question had already been answered in some way, so I didn’t want to embarrass myself, and hesitated to ask. Clive sensed the PC was about to end and without me asking, so he jumped in and asked my question for me! I was disappointed at 1st, but then realized am a scarred little rabbit and probably would have never spit it out anyway. I will still take credit for it though! Clive told me next time “just do it!’ He also said I shouldn’t hesitate cause my question is probably better than: ‘what you’ll have to listen to if you don’t ask your question!’ He needed some material he could use to write an article or TV bit and was disappointed with the same uninspiring material. I suppose if I had covered the event for that long, it would be harder to impress me too. For now it was still exciting. I then eves dropped on her interview in German, where she told her home reporter that Sharapova did not play her best tennis. I was so proud of myself for understanding her sentence! It had been years since I had spoken German so it was a small victory and a cheap thrill for me. And the comment also showed that Andrea was humble in defeat, cause she could have easily bragged to her home reporters, without the Aussie media finding out. I realised her name was not Andreya but was pronounced And-re-a, which reminded me of a TV series we used to watch in German class. It was a tale of two reasonably unattractive people, and their unrequited love. I wanted to ask if she knew of the ground braking educational series or our legendary Juma and shaum magazines, but figured it was covered in Deutschland schools, as they already knew how to speak German. Perhaps they watched an English speaking series with two relatively unattractive English people in it.Sharapova never seems to be too disappointed to lose. I wouldn’t say she was happy, but always says there’s a lot worse things in the world than losing a tennis match. She admits she is lucky to have money and a good family around her, so she will live. But she has no plans to retire as she realised how much she loved and missed the sport when she was out of the game. It doesn’t even bother her so much that she has not been as as successful as she was in her youth. She sounds so positive about her loss, but who knows how much she is complaining behind closed doors. We all have pride, and losing to a newby hurts. Andrea had only beaten Venus her because of her injury retirement, and now she was validated ending Marias open.
There was a backlog of media conferences, and Maria had already joked about it, telling the player before her to ‘get out!’. They were moving through like cattle. It was Kusnetsova, who had just played the longest ever match in grand slam history for women against Schiavone (a suspected one of our lot). It was 16-14 in the 3rd set and the match went for about 4 hours, something ridiculous. They were exhausted and went as long as the men, and probably hitting just as hard. Our lot have been known to do that though.In the midst of all the questions, the heated words between the two on court came up. Sveta said she didn’t remember what was said, and that they had a lot of respect for each other..hrmm. Well she promised us they would fight like animals and they delivered! All of a sudden, another financial question was fired: ‘This might make you feel better. You have earned 15 million and Francessca only 7. Have you ever done anything with your 15 million?” Svetta was shocked. ‘Whats with you guys?? I watched Rogers interview and you asked him the same thing. I put it under my couch. People think we’re super rich. You don’t realise how much we pay for hotel and coaches. There’s no team paying our expenses, we pay for everything ourselves, except for sponsors and parents. Its not like I have 17 million under my couch, you can come check though’. Ouch, a nerve had been touched. Perhaps it would help if you tell the player you write for a financial paper before you ask the question, otherwise they just think you’re nosy, or trying to get your hands on their money. Even a private interview would work a lill better. That reporter is a brave girl. I shared a ride with her to my car on the first night in the Kia. She seemed nice and I didn’t suspect she would be so bold as to practically ask for Roger Federers pin number.
I bumped into my Mexican friend who had been out at the practice courts watching Nadal, still trying to get an interview with Tony. Raphas uncle. ‘You keep saying you will talk to me later, if you give me you details though I will send you my book on grand slams when I finish it’. This seemed to work and he now had Tony Nadals email and postal address! A handy contact to have.
Warwinka had cleanly ended Andy Roddicks tournament, making the three sets look easy. Andy was just as mad after the loss as Lleyton. He was shooting the look of death at anyone who dared to ask him about the match that ruined his day…and the way he acted, his life. If you comment on how things don’t go his way you get: ‘is that a question or a statement?” ‘he hit more winners than you’. ‘statement again’. Or you might get : ‘you already said it so I don’t need to’. Always defensive, even minus the attack. When he won matches and someone would say ‘you played well out there bla bla’ he would still say ‘is that a question or a statement?’ As if he got a cheap thrill out of proving he was smarter than a journalist. But today it was his way of letting us know that if you poke the snake, you are asking for it. Even the American journo’s from Andys home country were copping it. He made us all wait around till 1 in the morning cause he thought he would have to face less of us…He was wrong. His pride had been burned by a relative unknown, average performer. I didn’t regret not taking on Roddick, but I did let Warney slip through my fingers without a photo, and that is unforgivable. Stanislas or ‘stanley’ as he was affectionately known to the Aussie crowd said he played the best match of his life. And the best since the tournament win in Chenai. But the joy would only last for a few secs, as he was about to face the best: Roger Federer. And even though he had Rogers former coach, it probably wouldn’t be enough.
All that and more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.
Peace out*.
*Disclaimer: The Sports Lounge may contain 2/3 of your daily fibre intake. No this does not mean we will give you the shits. Warning this last paragraph may not be accurate. Conditions apply and portions of this blog have been edited for your discomfort. Spoken by Tan for the Sports Lounge Party Melbourne (say that last sentance really fast).
Posts
