To be gay or not to be gay, that seems to be the question?

Winter Olympics....According to the world and channel 9, American figure skater Johny Weir is gay. This seems to be news to Johny however, as he hasn't even come out yet!...So if you buy into stereotypes, the extremely flamboyant skater, who decorates in his spare time and wears pink fluffy costumes, is gay. If you don't buy into stereotypes, then hes just flamboyant! But aren't most figure skaters?

Eddie Maguire and Mick Molloy decided they knew the answer, and began making the cliche' gay jokes way too early, and without Johny there to give the ok. Vancover Gold suddenly became a PR nightmare, as Eddie and Mick burried themsleves. The next night it was up to Eddie to repair the damage, by going so far as to invite Johny to stay with him in Australia. Johny replied, that he would happilly decorate Ed's spare room. The two kissed and made up TV style, and channel Eddie breathed a sigh of relief. Lucky Johny has a sense of humour, doesn't sound like the viewers did :-S.

On the actual sporting front, we have our first gold medal! Tora Bright, our flag bearer has been the first to come up with the goods!...Davadenko, you beauty!...After finally coming to terms with the fact that Dale Begg-Sith didn't actually win in the Moguls, we have GOLD! In the past while, Torah has had several concussions, and had balloons blown up her nose to re-arrange the bones in her head! Sounds like she earnt it!..And half-pipe is awesome so it makes Austrailia look good!...After receiving her medal, Torah went out n partied like a snowboarder, she declined balloons as decorations.

Maybe not as good as the flying tomato though! Shaun White showed off 'the double-something-mctwist', that he invented, and he nearly landed on his mc-head! But he is the best, and that's why they pay him 10 million a year, to stick the landing!

Wearing the green and gold, it was hard to tell if our male bobsled team was representing us, or Jamaica. As soon as their sled fell over and they completed the track upside-down on their heads, it was difficult to tell. But theres that ol Southern cross on their helmuts...ahhh..it is us.

Even the most experienced sleders has probs with the scary luge track. The revolutionary track has probably seen its last slide.

We look forard to the Arials with Lydia Lassila, our next big hope! Jaqui Cooper and Liz Gardner have made the final too. Hopefully we can grab another medal before Apolo Anton Ohno pinches it! And we don't have to listen to more articles that say 'OH no!' or 'Oh yes!'

Winter Olympic name of the week, goes to German downhill skier 'Andreas Wank'. And yes the commentators are pronouncing it 'Vank', not just because thats how the Deutsch say it, but cause it's family hour on T.V.

Cricket...Yes, we won again. And it's an empty feeling when you don't have much compettition. It does however mean we get to see lots of 6's and 4's! Yay! The Windies were at 3 for 19, and it was looking pretty safe. Australia sweep the 1 day series with the West Indies, and Ricky Ponting gets man of the match. If we were playing England, I'm not so sure it would be that way, but we'll take it dammit!..The real problem seems to be the crowds this summer.

There were only 5 people at the MCG on Friday night, and I was one of them! Nobody cares. They didn't even flash the crowd up on the screen, likely due to embarrasment. And they couldn't even be bothered talking into the mikes during the presentation. And have you ever tried to see 10 thousand people do a mexican wave? In a stadium that holds 100,000 people! It doesn't quite take, surprisingly.

The Aussies also cleaned up in the 20/20 with Shaun Tait bowling at a million miles an hour, almost clocking the fastest ever ball at 160.7 km/ph! I think the competition would shiz themselves on that, no matter how good they r!

Congrats to Wato for winning the Alan Border Medal. The all rounder carried the team over the latter part of the year, and made up in all areas we were lacking. Some feel like he doesnt deserve it, and even Shane worries what people think of him a little too much. Reality is, without Mitch and Watson, we would've had a more dismal year. And it's nice to finally have a player called Shane who doesn't smoke, eat baked beans, and constantly text his mistress.

AFL...It's back, but the debate rages on: Does anyone take the NAB cup performances seriously?....Well only when you win of course ;-). Geelong won the comp in 2009, and did win the Premiership in the home and away season. But there have been years where teams have bombed out in the first round of the NAB, and still performed the best in the H&A. Half the teams arent even fielding a full squad, so it's not exactly satisfying beating them.

North Melbourne are however gloating about beating a depleted Geelong side. They were full of run and enthusiasm, but 6 goals in 5 minutes from the Cats indicated that they coud've perhaps taken the game if they wanted. Only time will tell when the two teams play in round 14. It's not quite the StKilda V Geelong epic, but it will be a true test of where the two teams are really at.

And I had to include this picture because it looks like Andrew Mackie has his hand up somones butt. And it will fuel further 'Johny Weir' like allegations about his sexuality:

StKilda played it's first game against Collingwood, with the Pies now owning former recruit Luke Ball. The Saints held on by 1 point, in a thriller, not helping Luke get any kind of revenge. Freo also knocked off the Dee's, complete with number 1 and 2 draft picks Scully and Trengove. And the Swans have beaten the Blues by a couple of goals. Wheres Fev when you need him ey?

I had to include this pic, as it looks like Leon Davis (number 1) is missing his head. Spooky ghost footy pic oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh:

All that n more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.


Peace out*.



*Disclaimer: The Sports Lounge may contain 2/3 of your daily fibre intake. No this does not mean we will give you the shits. Warning this last paragraph may not be accurate. Conditions apply and portions of this blog have been edited for your discomfort. Spoken by Tan for the Sports Lounge Party Melbourne (say that last sentance really fast).All that n more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.

Australin Open Diary! (part 2). Access 'Most' areas Pass

Day 8

Fernando Verdasco would'nt lie down against Davydenko 'the machine' (as he was now being referred to in the media). Personally I had my eye on a more powerful machine in Federer, but time would tell. Nando took Davydenko to 5 sets, obviously spurred on by our mild mannered cheering, but couldn't finish it off. Carlos our Spanish friend was dissapointed, but there was still one big Spaniard left in the draw: Rapha!


Much like her sister Venus, Serena took care of the last of the Aussie girls. Sam Stosur was blown away by Serenas power and serve. Another lift ride with Oracine, but the sisters were not pleasing the Aussies so far, so I wasnt feeling chatty :-S.

It was Monday night, and the BIG Federer V Lleyton showdown was a sell out at Rod Laver. I had to miss most of the match to return to the station for the show, but I left early, as I knew this would be my last chance to see Hewi this Open. I had put myself on the 'Lleyton waiting list' to get into the match, as it was high priority and popular. I arrived when it was almost over, and thankfully our desk girl let me go up to watch the last two games! It was enough time to tell that that Hewi had done everything he could to take down the man. Apparently our little dude had put up a good fight the whole game, but he was no match for the perfect, clinical Roger, who was on a mission.


It was my last chance to ask Lleyts a question, but this was a losing match. I could feel his pain and dissapointment, and decided to leave him be so he could exit quickly. Will I get it together in time for the king of Tennis?..I will get one more chance with my last Roger day approaching, 2 from now. To ask Roger a question? Or to not ask Roger a quesiton? That is the question!

To finish the night Zvonereva and Azarenka took to the court in battle of the annoying names. After a great performance by Zvonereva, she crumbled and is steamrolled by Azarenka. Little does Victoria know, that she has Serena in the next round. It is even more ironic, after Azarenka takes on the foot fault judge during the match! The judge climbed the umpires chair and reports Azarenka swearing. She is awarded a code violation and kindly reminds the foot fault judge to do what he's supposed to do, pointing down to her feet.

Tsonga wins the award for longest set of the Tournament over Almagro with a massive 5th set. And yes he is still furiously pointing at himself when he wins. Just in case you werent paying attention, and you could'nt tell who won ;-). So all in all, it was a big day for pointers.

Day 9

This was our first taste of serious entry problems of the Tournament. Nadal was on court and so the waiting list was well into its 80's. On top of that, half the media were from Spain, and werent about to give up their prime time seats till the games end. We were on the Murray/nadal waiting list. Sitting underneath Rod Laver Arena, we felt like imigrants waiting for the call to get onto the boat. It was becoming more and more like Schindlers list as the minutes grew.. would we make it?!..Would I see more than 2 games this time?..No!..It's a good thing the Australia day fireworks arrived to keep us company. After we finally hear our names called, and celebrating like it's X'mas, I see two games with someones head covering most of the court. With that, the entertaining Rapha had retired, and he had heard his last VAMOS!..The knee was gone, and we had no idea how long he would be out of the game. And as Rapha proteseted: it had only been half an hour since retiring, so neither did he!

*Hey-ohh do ya like it like that!*:

Everyone was excited for the Roddick Cilic match. Marin looked down and out as usual, but the big Croat was just following the game plan. Play dead in the 4th set, lul them into a false sense of security, then blow them away in the 5th! I'd seen it a couple of times this tournament. He did it to Del Potro in the previous game to knock out the seed. I was onto Marins tactics!...Again, he looked finished against the A-Rod in the 4th set. And my media friends were telling me I was Loco!..'he's finished'...I assured them it was all part of the plan. And it was'nt long before Cilic had won, and I announced I was accepting appologies for the rest of the evening.

The A-Rod insisted that he had caught up to Cilic, after losing the 1st 2 sets. He seemed quite proud, but then it looked like reality hit him and he realised, he did'nt actually win!..

The night finished with doubles, and the Bryans nearly got rolled in 3 sets, but pulled it together in the end for the win. It was a brave effort by Butorac and Ram, but we really wanted to see the Bryans trademark celebration!

Day 10

I thought it would be my last day in heaven, but I was granted a day pass for Thursday, so I would see one more day of Tennis. I didn't realise though, day 10 was about to be the best day of he Tournament! It started out as a normal Tennis day. Serena Williams was on court against an equally as abrassive Azarenka, in battle of the angry ants. The Queen ant wasn't about to get knocked out by the apprentice. Serena out-grunted an equally loud and offensive on court squealer. Hennin had knocked out the giant killer Petrova and was looking in stunning form, to eventually run into Princess Serena. The only thing standing in her way were the two Chinese girls: Jeng jie and Li Na.

I decided it was time to face Serena in my first press conference. I knew this would be my last chance to ask Rog Fed a question, so I thought I would warm up with the toughest task around. The room was quite empty, nobody packs it out like Rog. I wanted to ask Serena: after threatening a lines woman at the US Open, was she getting any support from the crowd? But the old Pro Clive wisely advised wording it different. Instead I went with: 'how are you finding the support from the crowd this year?' She paused, cautious, I think she was onto me...'Um yeah, It's good every year..I can hear a couple of people calling stuff out from the back, so thats good'...hrmmm yeah, the 'BACK' Serena, thats as good as it gets now..ooops.

Meanwhile the man was on centre court vs the machine (Davydenko). The Aussie crowd were on his badwagon and we had good laugh when the odd person would yell out 'Davydenko, you beauty!'...Jesalenko would've been proud. After losing the first set convincingly, everyone was shocked. But after a week of watching Roger, I was sure he could recover. The game almost went to 5 sets after Roger missed a match point, followed by an extremely long game. But in the end R-Fed took it in 4 sets.

This was it, my last chance to ask the greatest ever tennis player a question. The room was packed as usual, and you practically had to cut the great man off to get a question in. It was time to step out of my comfort zone and dive in. 'Roger'...see you have to say his name 1st out of respect, which is possibly why I didnt use Serena's when talking to her. I was trying to be cool but I could feel my heart about to beat out of my chest. And I hoped he would'nt notice how red my face was!..'Roger. Now that the defending champion is out, are you feeling a little bit less pressure?'..He looks confused, eek...'Who's the defending Champion?'...I froze on the inside. I was sure it was Rapha, but this is Roger Federer, so he made me second guess myself. If Roger doesnt know, what chance have I got! I choked and tried to say Rapha, but was almost too scared to spit it out. Some others called out the answer so I confirmed trying to sound confident. Maybe the great man was testing me cause he didnt like my question? He replied 'No..only at the French...it was a relief Rapha was out cause I'd never won it...but I've won the Aussie open before...and I knew I had my hands full watching Davydenko'....Again I noddoed as If I was listening, but the freak out inside me meant I didnt hear a word, and therefore, had no follow up questions. But who cares. The whole interview was typed up for the Worlds media to see, and I was so proud I was ready to frame it. I did it, I had arrived. And the old pro Clive nodded in approval of my question. Again I thought the highlight of my day had passed.

I was also granted a free spot to go up and watch Tsonga V Djokovich. I thought I'd wander into Davydenkos Press conference (PC) first. What I stumbled upon, was the best comedy acts of the Tournament! The Russian cracked us all up with his deadpan act, and had us in hysterics. 'Maybe Roger was lucky today' he quipped. Someone then asked 'so what was going thorugh your mind when you were losing all those games?'....'...Im pissed off..what else?..Pissed off on my serve...it's like, everything was shit'. Man this night just keeps getting better.

Due to lack of interest in the Djokovic/Tsonga match, I not only get to watch, but in a great seat! I walk down the steps to my prime seat, when a lady from another network notices all my Geelong gear that I have on. She tells me shes a Cat fan so im in good company. 'Did you know Gary Abletts here?' she said. 'WHHHHHHAATTTTTTTTT?? R U SERIOUS!' Could this night get any better!? Yes it can! Hrrm, how can we corner hin and get a picture. Gary disapeered for an hour and chances started to look slim. Was he coming back? We conceded and walked down to grab a photo with A-Mack who was sitting with Gary.

As we head back up to our seats, I do a double take as I block the isle for none other than Junior Himself! My face turned to 'shocked fan mode', as I try to act cool again, knowing full well I look like a stunned mullet. 'Hey mate how u going?' My nervously hard tap to his left shoulder could have damaged his valuable arms. Right this is it, time for the ambush. Gary is in the front row. He can't possibly escape! My friend has her shot, and then Gary goes to sit. *Ru serious man? Im dressed head to toe in Cats gear, and you think I don't want one?*..Few, Gaz complys after I ask nicely.


This night has peaked right?, surely? Two questions to 2 of the best ever tennis players and a photo with Gaz. Is it time to take a breath and reflect?..Nope. Only about a second after I sit down, to come back to earth, my media pal turns to me "Oh by the way, Lilly Allen is two rows back'..'What!' Am I that dopey that she was sitting there for an hour and I didn't notice?. Not really, kind of, but she does look like the girl nect door, so shes easy to miss.

My French friend with the camera asks Lilly for a photo. I step on about 10 ice creams to get passed Lilly for the shot. I appologie and Lilly is like 'its alright'. The french girl asks her who she supports.:'Novak' is the sure reply. Our French friend is not satisfied with Tsonga on court. I thank Lilly and slink off to my seat. Lilly moves further into the row to avoid the cameras. With bad lighting the French girl wants another snap, but Lillys manager wont have any of it. Most people don't even seem to notice her. Michael grabs her on the way out, up the isle at the end of the match. We waited till the end of the 3rd and 4th set to make our move and then pounced in case she left. We learnt our lesson with Gary. We didn't need anything more from the day, even though we kept saying this. Joe took the game in a big 5 setter so we are happy, and so is our French firend 'Alay!'. Lilly looks pissed off and lets out a few choice words. Now lets see what the PC's will hold.
Novak claims he lost the match cause he had food poisoning and had thrown up in the 3rd set. Michael asks JO Tsonga in the PC: 'Novak talked about having some problems during the match, when did you 1st notice he was having some problems?'...'Oh, bout 5 years ago'..The room cracked up. It wasn't quite Davadenko, but it was a killer line to end a killer day.


I walked to the transport office again to hitch a ride with the Kia's and suddenly, there was Joe in the carpark, limping with 2 ice packs on his knees. I congratulated him and thought, what the hell. Its been nearly two weeks, and I still didn't have a photo with a famous tennis player. He's right next to me, ill ask for a photo no matter what the risk. And the fact that my camera is so crap you can barely see who we are in the photo. It's not hurting anyone. 'Aley, Aley, Aley!' Another new word to my vocab. Who knows how to spell it. Day 10 was sposed to be my last and it would have been a great way to go out. Theres no way tomorrow could top today, but I was coming in anyway. This place is KING!

Day 11

I arrived late and caught the end of Hennin crushing the last of the Chinese contingency. 1st order of business was to get my awesome Lilly Allen pic onto facebook, and brag about it to my media freinds. Those from Sydney, like Yvette, had no idea who Gaz Ablett was. But I sure do!

I wasn't allowed into the big Murray v Cilic game, so I wandered into Serenas PC. For someone who had just won into the finals, she seemed as mad as a cut snake. So business as usual. 'Is there any significance to the earing syou and Venus wear?' said the quiet Asian girl..."I only wear the earings in the singles'....*NEXT!*, the tennis Nazi might have well have said. After her incident with the foot fault judge earlier in the year, Serena didn't seem to be feeling Oriental.

Before I could blink or walk to Magaret Court court, the Williams sisters had won the doubles, and I retired to Grand Slam oval. I finally saw a bit of the touristy stuff I had missed in the Luxuary of Rod Laver Arena. With cold wind approaching, I retired to the cafe to watch the match on TV. I had worked our reception lady overtime, but they couldn't get me into the game.

The angry marsupial in action:
I sat in on Murrays press conference and there was an exciting feeling as the first Brit in about '150, years (as Rog would say), was going for the title. I'd seen enough of Roger to know better, but hoped for a good match. I said goodbye to my remaining media friends, those leaving and those who were lucky enough to stay. It had been such an altered sense of reality, but a good one. How could I return to normal life?

I was invited onto breakfast radio to do a tennis report with Andy and adrian. I declared that Rog would win the mens and that at least it would not be a boring all Williams final this year. I was hoping for Hennin, who had played some tough matches to get there.... And so I could say Aley! I was also going for Murray the Scott, but I knew it would likely be Serena and Rog! Rog to make more glamorous history. I met an old American in the media had been to about 37 US opens and 27 Wimbledons, so I had a way to go yet on 1!

I tried no to get emotional, but saying goodbye to my media family, and walking one more time down the hall so many famous players had, was hard. Pictures on the wall of past Champions and the wall of autographs where players had signed and written messeges was amazing. My last ride in the Kias with all the other drivers on board, was funny. A more superior Kia pulled up next to us and they all swooned 'oh is that the upgrade model?, leather seats ooh yeah, its the Sorento.. no this one is crap, Roger Federer wouldnt get in this one were in, he has his own' . I was not quite an expert, but I was learning. The next day I woke up with serious Melbourne park withdrawl, but I saw it coming.

Sat and Sun saw two amazing finals, but was relegated to TV like most. Hennin and Serena went to 3 sets. Even when she looks down in the slams, Serena always arcs up for the finals. Rog and Murray only went to 3 but had Murray taken the third set, who knows what might have been. It was a tight struggle. Roger march their silverware upstairs to the TV interviews. I even recognised some staff and security on TV after the matches.

I went out that night and saw a guy dressed as Bjorn Borg, not because he had been to the tennis, but because he just liked the attention, as his freind said. A guy on the dance floor had a giant novelty tennis ball. The fever had well and truly caught on with the gays.

I started off with a free bag of Eminems and a dream. It almost didnt matter that I had completely ripped most of the paint off my car, on that stupid tiny MCG car park pole!!!...almost. I finished with the best experience of my life.... And I still cant stop saying: best 10 days of my life!...except for Geelongs 2 Premys of course ;-)

Yes, we get it you're all with Tiger!!!!:

All that n more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.


Peace out*.



*Disclaimer: The Sports Lounge may contain 2/3 of your daily fibre intake. No this does not mean we will give you the shits. Warning this last paragraph may not be accurate. Conditions apply and portions of this blog have been edited for your discomfort. Spoken by Tan for the Sports Lounge Party Melbourne (say that last sentance really fast).All that n more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.

Australian Open Diary! (part 1) Access 'Most' areas pass

Day 1

Totally rained out on day 1! but thankfully I watched most of it from my living room :-). I did go in after the show, late at nite to see Jelena Dokic play. All the memories of her success last year came flooding in, but it was far from last years fairy tale for Jelena Dokic. She was booted out by Kelybanova from Russia in the first round. A slightly underwhelming start for the Aussie. The Russian hit the ball extremely low making it difficult for our girl. I wanted to go to my first press conference, but by the time I found the room, it seemed to be over already!


Hopefully day two would b more lively for me. I had my first taste of the Aussie fans on centre court: 'the fanatics' and they were very entertaining. 'We've got ten wallys, in our stand, we've got 10 Wallys in our stand'...they chanted, as a bunch of goons dressed as 'wheres Wally?' stood up....touche'. But they had more impressive material to come yet!

In better news, it was announced that there would be a 10 million dollar redevelopment of Melbourne Park! To secure the tennis for years to come...CMMONNNNN!..Thank you Mr Brumby :-).

I hadn't been to centre court in about 10 years so it was a lil' different. The only thing that bothers me is that kids are going to grow up thinking Tennis courts are supposed to be blue! :-S. At the end of the night I discovered that the KIA's would give me a lift to my car. When I got in the driver told me he had just taken Dokic home. Surprisingly she wasnt very chatty... I was still intrigued by the Open, after only a couple of hours there.

Day 2

Late in the Arvo I stroll into the Bowels of Rod Laver Arena and straight away Justine Hennin and entourage walked passed me, followed closely by Dementieva!. And I was Naively thought that would be the highlight of my day!

I then went straight into the press conference (PC) room for the 1st time, and there was my fav Aussie girl, Casey Delaqua, fresh from her first win! She hits like a man and its damn entertaining! And in case you were wondering, yes, Target still sponsors our girl!

From there I was off to see 'The Man' for the first time, Roger Fed. He lost the first set, but powered on to win. I then went to my first Fed PC, where I was sitting about two metres from the greatest Tennis player of all time! But un-prepared I couldn't think of a question worthy of 'the man'. I coud've asked him what he had for breakfast, but I had the feeling he had bigger things on his plate...pardon the pun.

And then the moment I had waited half my life for: Lleyton, live and in person on Centre Court! Sitting about ten rows from the front I was nearly crying with happiness, but media aint sposed to cry :-s. I wanted nothing more than to yell out a big 'CMMMMMMMMONN', but had to settle for a polite, impartial clap :-(. Little did I know that I could've left the media area and sat where I could disgrace myself cheering.

Our boy had put on the biggest thrashing of his Aus Open career. I tried hard to think of a good question for my fav player, but didnt want to upset him knowing his feelings about the media. We all thought best to steer clear of the 'T' word as well, and the feud (T for Tomic).


Leaving the match, deleriously happy, I walked into the elevator and was shortly joined by Lleytons Family! including Mrs Bec Hewitt. The hardest part was, I could'nt say a word. We had to act professional. I was going to tell them how awesome their son was, but had a feeling they already knew that.

Another Aussie, Molik was up next, and with almost 2 sets in the bag it was looking like a great night for the Aussies. The Fanatics were at it again with the entertainment. Their piece de resistance was not the chants, but the man in a wig and a dress, who sereneded us as Susan Boyle: 'I dreamed a dream'.

The Fanatics with their Tiger Woods material:


Almost all over, and the Nannas were packing up their picnic rugs. Then Alicia started to lose focus and think about the changerooms, and her next opponent, and the warm down. Then before we knew it the match performed a backflip, and the momentum turned with the icy cold wind. Alicia lost an un-losable match. The media began to re-write their stories for the 3rd or 4th time! Alicia was however, the most open and honest player I had encountered in a PC yet.

When I got to the transport office, Alicia was in the waiting room, and I tried not to smile too much, after such a loss, but I was having trouble wiping it off my face! I hopped in a car with a driver who had driven Rog Fed to the airport last year. Clearly I had arrived :-P lol.

Shortly after, I discovered how well the media were looked after at Melbourne Park, the free food and drinks spoiled us, and suddenly the piece of plastic around my neck became like Gold! I was in disbelief of such a great day! And it was only day 2!

Day 3

I started the day with another PC, this time Gael Monfils from France. I went in knowing likely, that all the questions would be in another language. 'Any English questions?'...The door bish looked at me, and I shook my head....'Ok questions in French'... So I basically went to watch someone talk in French, for no other reason other than he's a big Tennis star! He's still funny, even though I had no idea what he was saying! I laughed anyways. And it was kind of romantic lol. Shortly after, Justine Hennin impressed us with us with her fluent native tongue as well...To-to, I don't think we're in Melbourne anymore!

The Belgian had an epic battle with Dementieva, and took the match in two tough sets. Not a bad effort from the girl who had just come off a long break. Justine was all class in her PC's and admitted her key to success was the important points she won at the net. Even though she was having problems with her ball toss in difficult conditions. Possibly the first time in history a female player had ball tossing issues. It was just about the coldest open ever, and it was safe to declare it on day 3!

The highlight of day 3 was yet to come though! I couldn't understand a word Del Potro said, or our great Scott Andy Murray, but english is not Delpotro's first language. Bernard Tomic however, had no excuse, but he did use plenty anyway. And English is supposed to be his first language!

The Tominator was in full force on the court, as the momentum was swinging from set to set against Cilic. After I went to the effort of preparing some intelligent questions, little did I know I was wasting my time. As the PC I was about to attend would be laughed about by every media outlet in the country for the entire next day.



It was 2.30 in the morning, and Tomic of course had lost. There were only about ten of us in the room to witness the magic that night. He began by complaining about how late the match was..'name any other sport where you play at two in the morning, it's only this sport'. We all wanted to say 'well, the other guy was fine?!...he won!'..but common sense was not the theme here.

It only got worse. Baby Bernard rubbed his eyes and siad 'I just can't see after 2 o'clock in the morning'....'ahhh...what do you mean?', a brave media person piped up. 'I just can't see.. my eyes don't work after 2'oclock in the morning'..We all looked at eachother.....'um...is there any particular reason whyyy?'...'No...I just can't see after 2 o'clock in the morning'...We could'nt believe the drivel we were hearing. And clearly Bernard had a fixation with the number 2. The group of us in the room, werent sure what planet we were on, but we woke up the next day to hear everyone talking about it!

A day or two later, Bernard and his father walked into the interview room, unannounced. Bernard said that maybe he was a bit harsh in criticising the late scheduling of his match. He was then asked if he had learnt anything about dealing with the media after a match. He said 'no..'. So basically, the guy walked back into the room, just to say he had learnt nothing. What a colossal waste of time. Aussie Tennis had a new entertaining family, move over Damir Dokic!

It was such a shame Bernard has such a mouth, cause he actually played a great game of Tennis in five long sets, against what was to be one of this years Semi finalists! Bernard played maturely except for the last set. He strategically moved his opponent around and then moved in for the net kill. Jim Courier said 'he plays like nobody I've seen'...and we're assuming its a compliment. In fairness, all the other mens matches had been on first, every other night. But maybe this was a way to spice up the open in the press room! It worked!

Day 4

There was a Royal feeling in the air, and it wasn't just because Prince Willy was in a Hellicopter above Rod Laver Arena. Roger Federer (tennis royalty) was also on court. We all nearly fell over, when the Prince entered centre court, unnanounced. The soon to be King, soon to be bald as a Badger! And all before the age of 30, the poor thing. We were sitting close, but too far away to tell someones hair was thining! His flat head became the centre of attention, turning the cameras away from Rodger for the first time!


After the match, it was battle of 'who can turn the brightest shade of red from embarrasment' between Willy and R-Fed. Rog was in fine touch as they waved to eachother. And it was hard to tell which one of them would be our future King. The Prince momentarilly left the court, shaking hands randomely up the isle, and went off to talk to Serena and Rog. Serena monopolising the chat no doubt.

Lleyton put on another thrashing, as he barely broke into a sweat for a second round win. His strategic precision and confidence was back! And I still couldn't think of a question for my boy...Doh! I learnt that you had to get in quick, all the good questions get snapped up like a clearance sale!

Following Roger, our Casey fought hard to win a close 2 setter. Casey admitted she had trouble concentrating in front of the Prince, who had returned. But the jinx eventually left so our Casey could lose her nerves and close out the match. She snapped the 2nd round win.

I encountered my first Williams sister in a press conference (PC). She was calm, composed and smiling. I could see her change and relax the mood of the entire room. I felt quite at ease, and knew it would be a different story with Queen Serena.


Day 5

The media went into shock on the only hot day of the open! The roof was half closed and we almost couldn't breathe. No, I take that back, we could'nt! Either open the roof and let some air in, or close it n put the air con on! None of this half assed crap! It was stiffling and the first time we had broken a sweat all Tournament.

In the stands, Hisense was even worse, as I made my first trek away from the luxuary of Rod Laver Arena. It was like a Sauna! Petrova crushed our Kimmy Clijsters in an uncomprehendable beating. Kim stated that she had no excuse, mental, physical or problems at home. The media asked the same questions over and over and got the same, non answer. The cameras were so loud we could barely hear, but by the time it was over Kim was in disbelief at the ambush like interrrogation.



I finally got to see Rapha live, and it was 10 times better than T.V. I was defo excited to watch him. The Spaniard and his spin had my full attention as he ripped around the net 'the best forehand ever' ( Raphas own words). Never has a ball curved so sharply and severly from out of court, between the chair and the net post!. I also had a new word added to my vocab: VAMOS! Which we can only assume means go or CMOOON! Look out Roger, he's back.


The magic 4 setter was followed by a high quality game between the experienced Kusnetsova and the young German girl: Kerber, that played some of the best shots I've ever seen! Not bad for a kiddy. She was breathtaking at times and the giant killer almost took the match in 3 sets. But Kusnetsova showed her age and took the honours.

Day 6

Welcome to celebrity Saturday, where walking into Rod Laver in the arvo, is like stepping into the Logies after party!...Left and right, they are everywhere. Ed and Hughesey from Nova, Les Hill from Underbelly (aka Jason Moran), Adam Hills from Spics and Specs. And apparently I have already missed Jesse Metcalfe from Desperate Housewives! s&#t! wake up Tan!..Hughesey was on his way out too, apparently the wife was telling him he had to come home n help with the baby....geez lol.

Our Casey was up against Venus, and after a poor start, Casey faught hard for the 2nd set. It wasnt to be and Venus took the match in 2 sets. Afterwards, I walked down stairs in anticipation of the PC, when who should I see next to me waiting for the lift? None other than the most famous mother in Tennis: Oracine Williams! Star struck as usual and trying to behave, not saying a word was I. Luckilly someone else in the lift decided to risk it n have a chat with her. Oracine was still living it up in LA, and no doubt Venus and Serena were making sure she had a nice patio in her yard. She was quite chilled, and didnt resemble much of her youngest.

I scored myself a front row seat for the little man Lleyton, so close I could see all his facial expressions of joy, from all the winners! Even more awesome, was the fact that we were near the players box, so when he let out a trademark 'CMMONN!' it was as if he was turning to us! You can't buy that kind of atmosphere...Well you can, but im sure it's expensive.

We were all mad with anticipation after the epic Hewitt v Bahgdadis match they had played in the last couple of years at Melbourne Park. It went to about 5am and our lil Lleyton won it!...This time, it was slightly underwhelming, yet positive. 6-love to Hewi in the 1st set and Marcus began to grab at his arm....dooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh, dont you retire and rob me of Lleyton time!...Do'h. It's bitter sweat, I want him to win, but not like that. I had planned to sit there for a few hours and think of an clever questions for Lleyton. I was barely sitting for an hour and unprepared as we headed to his PC. I knew full well it would probably be his last winning PC, as his next opponent was *gulp* none other than the greatest Tennis player of all time: R-Fed *cringe*. I was going to ask Lleyts if he felt like he was hitting the ball as well as he ever had, but it wasnt long before he made the statement himself, while answering anothers question. Damn, I blew it. It was day 6, and I was still too starstruck to ask my fav player a question. But I knew I had to break the ice on someone.

I walked into Venus Williams PC and decided that if I was going to ask a question, this would be it. Venus was extremely calm and composed so I thought it was safe to take the plunge. The PC was almost over and it looked liked I was about to pike again..."last question'...called the door bish....I launched into an unrehearsed: 'Do you think you are playing better, than say, this time last year?'.....pregnant pause....'Um, I don't even remember, it was a year ago'...eek I choked...'Last year I don't think I made it passed the 2nd round so yeah'...(not sure if that is correct), but I was still nervous. I think Venus could see that I was crapping myself , so she finished with a polite...'but hopefully yes..thanks' and smiled. I nodded. I think she smelled an amateur. But my Media friends almost applauded with pride anyway. 'Finally, she got one out!'... I felt closer to the Williams family, also after spending that quality time with their mother in the lift :-P. Luckily I had only encountered the friendlier half of the family. I was still yet to face one of scary Serenas press conferences. I don't think I was quite ready, I hadn't bought a helmet yet!

Our friend from New York David asked Venus who she would most like to have a hit with...she said Prince William, and couldn't think of another. She looked at David and said 'I don't know...how bout you'. David nearly fell off his chair with excitment lol. Maybe if I put on an American accent she will have a hit with me too. But at least I had asked amy first question!

I had barely seen half a match on day six, it was one of those nights. And it was also the earliest finish of the Open this year at 10.30 ish! I missed yet another match of the 4th seed: Djokovich. He was excited that all the big players were still in the tournament. He would regret this in about 4 days.

Day 7

Could it be colder than day 6?..Yes it can! From the hottest to the coldest in 2 days, Even the Euros were struggling. The icy cold wind didnt bother Rapha too much, but the questions in the PC sure did. After being asked if he would rather win the Open, or see Spain win the world cup, Rapha replied: 'You serious..thats the worst question anyone has ever asked me...C'mon, what kind of question is that?'..I certainly wasnt about to perk up and ask something following that train wreck. But James our New Zealand friend, definitely cracked up the room.

From one train wreck to another, Del Potro was looking to bow out to Marin Cillic. A big seed was about to fall. Suddenly whinging Bernard Tomic was looking pretty talented, after almost knocking out Cilic in the 2nd round. Talented, but still incoherent... I am perhaps harsh on the young Del Potro, he is tall but lacks precision. Although he is only young. Suddenly Del Potro perked up, finding some in the 4th set, and we were going to 5 on Hisense! Did I stay to watch the excitment?..nope. I figured the girls would finish quicker over on Laver, but when I got there, the Belgian Wickmayer had broken fellow Belgian Hennin in the 1st set. So it was building to a possible night of upsets. Next thing you know, we didnt know where to look.

It was an exciting contrast to the previous night of action. Before we could blink, Cilic was out to a 5-2 lead in the 5th, and the upset was truly on it's way. He steamrolled the equally tall opponent out of the Open! Did I have the guts to ask the Argentinian if he truly had any talent, or if he was just really, really tall?...nope. The man was in tears in his PC, so I was'nt about to rub it in. The Croations *play dead in the 4th and roll them in the 5th* plan was beginning to surface. Having no real 5 setter to my name so far (besides Tomic), I can't believe I walked out on it. Hennin was playing a blinder though at home base, so I walked for a better view, and it was justified.

After a scare to Justine, she prevailed, and I was off to an epic 5 setter between the A-Rod and Nando Gonzalez (the sentimental favourite from a few years ago). Sitting behind an American with a U.S.A flag, the chances of getting our heads on TV were better than ever! Except for the fact that the Americans head was blocking mine!...*Theres mikes, theres other guy*...where am i???!! ill have to settle for pointing my fingers in the shot.

Nando was thrown by an end of 4th set line call that went to the A-Rod, so he spent most of the 5th set pissed off, rather than focusing on the fact that he was playing better than the American! The match was renowned as one of the highest quality games in the Tournament. And one of the few where A-Rod kept the bitching to a minimum. He did pull off one of the fastest serves at 222 km/ph as well.

Dinara Safina was out of the Open as well, and not for the usual reasons. That is, she did'nt make it all the way to the final and lose. After winning a game she realised her back was gone, and she could'nt move! It was so bad she could'nt even lie down! And we werent about to keep a girl in tears from her rest. The last call for questions in her PC was met with silence. See the media do have a heart after all lol.

We said farewell to our American friend David the night before and were feeling a lil empty. He went home to finish his tennis fiction novel, and whispers were he was on the verge of a big up and coming project... shhhhh.

Part 2 coming soon.

All that n more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.


Peace out*.



*Disclaimer: The Sports Lounge may contain 2/3 of your daily fibre intake. No this does not mean we will give you the shits. Warning this last paragraph may not be accurate. Conditions apply and portions of this blog have been edited for your discomfort. Spoken by Tan for the Sports Lounge Party Melbourne (say that last sentance really fast).All that n more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.