Australian Open Diary! (part 1) Access 'Most' areas pass

Day 1

Totally rained out on day 1! but thankfully I watched most of it from my living room :-). I did go in after the show, late at nite to see Jelena Dokic play. All the memories of her success last year came flooding in, but it was far from last years fairy tale for Jelena Dokic. She was booted out by Kelybanova from Russia in the first round. A slightly underwhelming start for the Aussie. The Russian hit the ball extremely low making it difficult for our girl. I wanted to go to my first press conference, but by the time I found the room, it seemed to be over already!


Hopefully day two would b more lively for me. I had my first taste of the Aussie fans on centre court: 'the fanatics' and they were very entertaining. 'We've got ten wallys, in our stand, we've got 10 Wallys in our stand'...they chanted, as a bunch of goons dressed as 'wheres Wally?' stood up....touche'. But they had more impressive material to come yet!

In better news, it was announced that there would be a 10 million dollar redevelopment of Melbourne Park! To secure the tennis for years to come...CMMONNNNN!..Thank you Mr Brumby :-).

I hadn't been to centre court in about 10 years so it was a lil' different. The only thing that bothers me is that kids are going to grow up thinking Tennis courts are supposed to be blue! :-S. At the end of the night I discovered that the KIA's would give me a lift to my car. When I got in the driver told me he had just taken Dokic home. Surprisingly she wasnt very chatty... I was still intrigued by the Open, after only a couple of hours there.

Day 2

Late in the Arvo I stroll into the Bowels of Rod Laver Arena and straight away Justine Hennin and entourage walked passed me, followed closely by Dementieva!. And I was Naively thought that would be the highlight of my day!

I then went straight into the press conference (PC) room for the 1st time, and there was my fav Aussie girl, Casey Delaqua, fresh from her first win! She hits like a man and its damn entertaining! And in case you were wondering, yes, Target still sponsors our girl!

From there I was off to see 'The Man' for the first time, Roger Fed. He lost the first set, but powered on to win. I then went to my first Fed PC, where I was sitting about two metres from the greatest Tennis player of all time! But un-prepared I couldn't think of a question worthy of 'the man'. I coud've asked him what he had for breakfast, but I had the feeling he had bigger things on his plate...pardon the pun.

And then the moment I had waited half my life for: Lleyton, live and in person on Centre Court! Sitting about ten rows from the front I was nearly crying with happiness, but media aint sposed to cry :-s. I wanted nothing more than to yell out a big 'CMMMMMMMMONN', but had to settle for a polite, impartial clap :-(. Little did I know that I could've left the media area and sat where I could disgrace myself cheering.

Our boy had put on the biggest thrashing of his Aus Open career. I tried hard to think of a good question for my fav player, but didnt want to upset him knowing his feelings about the media. We all thought best to steer clear of the 'T' word as well, and the feud (T for Tomic).


Leaving the match, deleriously happy, I walked into the elevator and was shortly joined by Lleytons Family! including Mrs Bec Hewitt. The hardest part was, I could'nt say a word. We had to act professional. I was going to tell them how awesome their son was, but had a feeling they already knew that.

Another Aussie, Molik was up next, and with almost 2 sets in the bag it was looking like a great night for the Aussies. The Fanatics were at it again with the entertainment. Their piece de resistance was not the chants, but the man in a wig and a dress, who sereneded us as Susan Boyle: 'I dreamed a dream'.

The Fanatics with their Tiger Woods material:


Almost all over, and the Nannas were packing up their picnic rugs. Then Alicia started to lose focus and think about the changerooms, and her next opponent, and the warm down. Then before we knew it the match performed a backflip, and the momentum turned with the icy cold wind. Alicia lost an un-losable match. The media began to re-write their stories for the 3rd or 4th time! Alicia was however, the most open and honest player I had encountered in a PC yet.

When I got to the transport office, Alicia was in the waiting room, and I tried not to smile too much, after such a loss, but I was having trouble wiping it off my face! I hopped in a car with a driver who had driven Rog Fed to the airport last year. Clearly I had arrived :-P lol.

Shortly after, I discovered how well the media were looked after at Melbourne Park, the free food and drinks spoiled us, and suddenly the piece of plastic around my neck became like Gold! I was in disbelief of such a great day! And it was only day 2!

Day 3

I started the day with another PC, this time Gael Monfils from France. I went in knowing likely, that all the questions would be in another language. 'Any English questions?'...The door bish looked at me, and I shook my head....'Ok questions in French'... So I basically went to watch someone talk in French, for no other reason other than he's a big Tennis star! He's still funny, even though I had no idea what he was saying! I laughed anyways. And it was kind of romantic lol. Shortly after, Justine Hennin impressed us with us with her fluent native tongue as well...To-to, I don't think we're in Melbourne anymore!

The Belgian had an epic battle with Dementieva, and took the match in two tough sets. Not a bad effort from the girl who had just come off a long break. Justine was all class in her PC's and admitted her key to success was the important points she won at the net. Even though she was having problems with her ball toss in difficult conditions. Possibly the first time in history a female player had ball tossing issues. It was just about the coldest open ever, and it was safe to declare it on day 3!

The highlight of day 3 was yet to come though! I couldn't understand a word Del Potro said, or our great Scott Andy Murray, but english is not Delpotro's first language. Bernard Tomic however, had no excuse, but he did use plenty anyway. And English is supposed to be his first language!

The Tominator was in full force on the court, as the momentum was swinging from set to set against Cilic. After I went to the effort of preparing some intelligent questions, little did I know I was wasting my time. As the PC I was about to attend would be laughed about by every media outlet in the country for the entire next day.



It was 2.30 in the morning, and Tomic of course had lost. There were only about ten of us in the room to witness the magic that night. He began by complaining about how late the match was..'name any other sport where you play at two in the morning, it's only this sport'. We all wanted to say 'well, the other guy was fine?!...he won!'..but common sense was not the theme here.

It only got worse. Baby Bernard rubbed his eyes and siad 'I just can't see after 2 o'clock in the morning'....'ahhh...what do you mean?', a brave media person piped up. 'I just can't see.. my eyes don't work after 2'oclock in the morning'..We all looked at eachother.....'um...is there any particular reason whyyy?'...'No...I just can't see after 2 o'clock in the morning'...We could'nt believe the drivel we were hearing. And clearly Bernard had a fixation with the number 2. The group of us in the room, werent sure what planet we were on, but we woke up the next day to hear everyone talking about it!

A day or two later, Bernard and his father walked into the interview room, unannounced. Bernard said that maybe he was a bit harsh in criticising the late scheduling of his match. He was then asked if he had learnt anything about dealing with the media after a match. He said 'no..'. So basically, the guy walked back into the room, just to say he had learnt nothing. What a colossal waste of time. Aussie Tennis had a new entertaining family, move over Damir Dokic!

It was such a shame Bernard has such a mouth, cause he actually played a great game of Tennis in five long sets, against what was to be one of this years Semi finalists! Bernard played maturely except for the last set. He strategically moved his opponent around and then moved in for the net kill. Jim Courier said 'he plays like nobody I've seen'...and we're assuming its a compliment. In fairness, all the other mens matches had been on first, every other night. But maybe this was a way to spice up the open in the press room! It worked!

Day 4

There was a Royal feeling in the air, and it wasn't just because Prince Willy was in a Hellicopter above Rod Laver Arena. Roger Federer (tennis royalty) was also on court. We all nearly fell over, when the Prince entered centre court, unnanounced. The soon to be King, soon to be bald as a Badger! And all before the age of 30, the poor thing. We were sitting close, but too far away to tell someones hair was thining! His flat head became the centre of attention, turning the cameras away from Rodger for the first time!


After the match, it was battle of 'who can turn the brightest shade of red from embarrasment' between Willy and R-Fed. Rog was in fine touch as they waved to eachother. And it was hard to tell which one of them would be our future King. The Prince momentarilly left the court, shaking hands randomely up the isle, and went off to talk to Serena and Rog. Serena monopolising the chat no doubt.

Lleyton put on another thrashing, as he barely broke into a sweat for a second round win. His strategic precision and confidence was back! And I still couldn't think of a question for my boy...Doh! I learnt that you had to get in quick, all the good questions get snapped up like a clearance sale!

Following Roger, our Casey fought hard to win a close 2 setter. Casey admitted she had trouble concentrating in front of the Prince, who had returned. But the jinx eventually left so our Casey could lose her nerves and close out the match. She snapped the 2nd round win.

I encountered my first Williams sister in a press conference (PC). She was calm, composed and smiling. I could see her change and relax the mood of the entire room. I felt quite at ease, and knew it would be a different story with Queen Serena.


Day 5

The media went into shock on the only hot day of the open! The roof was half closed and we almost couldn't breathe. No, I take that back, we could'nt! Either open the roof and let some air in, or close it n put the air con on! None of this half assed crap! It was stiffling and the first time we had broken a sweat all Tournament.

In the stands, Hisense was even worse, as I made my first trek away from the luxuary of Rod Laver Arena. It was like a Sauna! Petrova crushed our Kimmy Clijsters in an uncomprehendable beating. Kim stated that she had no excuse, mental, physical or problems at home. The media asked the same questions over and over and got the same, non answer. The cameras were so loud we could barely hear, but by the time it was over Kim was in disbelief at the ambush like interrrogation.



I finally got to see Rapha live, and it was 10 times better than T.V. I was defo excited to watch him. The Spaniard and his spin had my full attention as he ripped around the net 'the best forehand ever' ( Raphas own words). Never has a ball curved so sharply and severly from out of court, between the chair and the net post!. I also had a new word added to my vocab: VAMOS! Which we can only assume means go or CMOOON! Look out Roger, he's back.


The magic 4 setter was followed by a high quality game between the experienced Kusnetsova and the young German girl: Kerber, that played some of the best shots I've ever seen! Not bad for a kiddy. She was breathtaking at times and the giant killer almost took the match in 3 sets. But Kusnetsova showed her age and took the honours.

Day 6

Welcome to celebrity Saturday, where walking into Rod Laver in the arvo, is like stepping into the Logies after party!...Left and right, they are everywhere. Ed and Hughesey from Nova, Les Hill from Underbelly (aka Jason Moran), Adam Hills from Spics and Specs. And apparently I have already missed Jesse Metcalfe from Desperate Housewives! s&#t! wake up Tan!..Hughesey was on his way out too, apparently the wife was telling him he had to come home n help with the baby....geez lol.

Our Casey was up against Venus, and after a poor start, Casey faught hard for the 2nd set. It wasnt to be and Venus took the match in 2 sets. Afterwards, I walked down stairs in anticipation of the PC, when who should I see next to me waiting for the lift? None other than the most famous mother in Tennis: Oracine Williams! Star struck as usual and trying to behave, not saying a word was I. Luckilly someone else in the lift decided to risk it n have a chat with her. Oracine was still living it up in LA, and no doubt Venus and Serena were making sure she had a nice patio in her yard. She was quite chilled, and didnt resemble much of her youngest.

I scored myself a front row seat for the little man Lleyton, so close I could see all his facial expressions of joy, from all the winners! Even more awesome, was the fact that we were near the players box, so when he let out a trademark 'CMMONN!' it was as if he was turning to us! You can't buy that kind of atmosphere...Well you can, but im sure it's expensive.

We were all mad with anticipation after the epic Hewitt v Bahgdadis match they had played in the last couple of years at Melbourne Park. It went to about 5am and our lil Lleyton won it!...This time, it was slightly underwhelming, yet positive. 6-love to Hewi in the 1st set and Marcus began to grab at his arm....dooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh, dont you retire and rob me of Lleyton time!...Do'h. It's bitter sweat, I want him to win, but not like that. I had planned to sit there for a few hours and think of an clever questions for Lleyton. I was barely sitting for an hour and unprepared as we headed to his PC. I knew full well it would probably be his last winning PC, as his next opponent was *gulp* none other than the greatest Tennis player of all time: R-Fed *cringe*. I was going to ask Lleyts if he felt like he was hitting the ball as well as he ever had, but it wasnt long before he made the statement himself, while answering anothers question. Damn, I blew it. It was day 6, and I was still too starstruck to ask my fav player a question. But I knew I had to break the ice on someone.

I walked into Venus Williams PC and decided that if I was going to ask a question, this would be it. Venus was extremely calm and composed so I thought it was safe to take the plunge. The PC was almost over and it looked liked I was about to pike again..."last question'...called the door bish....I launched into an unrehearsed: 'Do you think you are playing better, than say, this time last year?'.....pregnant pause....'Um, I don't even remember, it was a year ago'...eek I choked...'Last year I don't think I made it passed the 2nd round so yeah'...(not sure if that is correct), but I was still nervous. I think Venus could see that I was crapping myself , so she finished with a polite...'but hopefully yes..thanks' and smiled. I nodded. I think she smelled an amateur. But my Media friends almost applauded with pride anyway. 'Finally, she got one out!'... I felt closer to the Williams family, also after spending that quality time with their mother in the lift :-P. Luckily I had only encountered the friendlier half of the family. I was still yet to face one of scary Serenas press conferences. I don't think I was quite ready, I hadn't bought a helmet yet!

Our friend from New York David asked Venus who she would most like to have a hit with...she said Prince William, and couldn't think of another. She looked at David and said 'I don't know...how bout you'. David nearly fell off his chair with excitment lol. Maybe if I put on an American accent she will have a hit with me too. But at least I had asked amy first question!

I had barely seen half a match on day six, it was one of those nights. And it was also the earliest finish of the Open this year at 10.30 ish! I missed yet another match of the 4th seed: Djokovich. He was excited that all the big players were still in the tournament. He would regret this in about 4 days.

Day 7

Could it be colder than day 6?..Yes it can! From the hottest to the coldest in 2 days, Even the Euros were struggling. The icy cold wind didnt bother Rapha too much, but the questions in the PC sure did. After being asked if he would rather win the Open, or see Spain win the world cup, Rapha replied: 'You serious..thats the worst question anyone has ever asked me...C'mon, what kind of question is that?'..I certainly wasnt about to perk up and ask something following that train wreck. But James our New Zealand friend, definitely cracked up the room.

From one train wreck to another, Del Potro was looking to bow out to Marin Cillic. A big seed was about to fall. Suddenly whinging Bernard Tomic was looking pretty talented, after almost knocking out Cilic in the 2nd round. Talented, but still incoherent... I am perhaps harsh on the young Del Potro, he is tall but lacks precision. Although he is only young. Suddenly Del Potro perked up, finding some in the 4th set, and we were going to 5 on Hisense! Did I stay to watch the excitment?..nope. I figured the girls would finish quicker over on Laver, but when I got there, the Belgian Wickmayer had broken fellow Belgian Hennin in the 1st set. So it was building to a possible night of upsets. Next thing you know, we didnt know where to look.

It was an exciting contrast to the previous night of action. Before we could blink, Cilic was out to a 5-2 lead in the 5th, and the upset was truly on it's way. He steamrolled the equally tall opponent out of the Open! Did I have the guts to ask the Argentinian if he truly had any talent, or if he was just really, really tall?...nope. The man was in tears in his PC, so I was'nt about to rub it in. The Croations *play dead in the 4th and roll them in the 5th* plan was beginning to surface. Having no real 5 setter to my name so far (besides Tomic), I can't believe I walked out on it. Hennin was playing a blinder though at home base, so I walked for a better view, and it was justified.

After a scare to Justine, she prevailed, and I was off to an epic 5 setter between the A-Rod and Nando Gonzalez (the sentimental favourite from a few years ago). Sitting behind an American with a U.S.A flag, the chances of getting our heads on TV were better than ever! Except for the fact that the Americans head was blocking mine!...*Theres mikes, theres other guy*...where am i???!! ill have to settle for pointing my fingers in the shot.

Nando was thrown by an end of 4th set line call that went to the A-Rod, so he spent most of the 5th set pissed off, rather than focusing on the fact that he was playing better than the American! The match was renowned as one of the highest quality games in the Tournament. And one of the few where A-Rod kept the bitching to a minimum. He did pull off one of the fastest serves at 222 km/ph as well.

Dinara Safina was out of the Open as well, and not for the usual reasons. That is, she did'nt make it all the way to the final and lose. After winning a game she realised her back was gone, and she could'nt move! It was so bad she could'nt even lie down! And we werent about to keep a girl in tears from her rest. The last call for questions in her PC was met with silence. See the media do have a heart after all lol.

We said farewell to our American friend David the night before and were feeling a lil empty. He went home to finish his tennis fiction novel, and whispers were he was on the verge of a big up and coming project... shhhhh.

Part 2 coming soon.

All that n more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.


Peace out*.



*Disclaimer: The Sports Lounge may contain 2/3 of your daily fibre intake. No this does not mean we will give you the shits. Warning this last paragraph may not be accurate. Conditions apply and portions of this blog have been edited for your discomfort. Spoken by Tan for the Sports Lounge Party Melbourne (say that last sentance really fast).All that n more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.