The sport of Kings Queens, Kings and really top class tracksuits

Tennis...This week, tennis royalty met real royalty, as the Queen visited Wimbledon for the first time in about 30 years. She stopped to meet Federer, Serena and Jokovic, who was so overcome by the momentus occaision, he decided to dress up. And by dress up we mean wear a tracksuit! At least Roger and Serena looked nice. And Serena's not exactly known for her manners. Oh well, we should at least be grate full he didnt fake a sicky like usual, and cancel on the Queen.
Ahh yes theres nothin on earth like a genuine, bonified, electrified 60-70 game tennis match! This years Wimbledon has welcomed the longest match in history, which broke more than that record! The most aces, the most games in a match and set, and the longest time at about 11 hours and 3 days! As the two player will never have the talent to win a grand slam, there is speculation that they both kept the game going for so long in order to make history in some way! But if so, they couldve stopped at about 58 to 60 games, or even about 36 to 38. But at 68 to 70, even they didnt need to wrok that hard to be famous!

If you're like me, you would've sat down at the TV on the first night of the match, and thought you were looking at a record of 55 to 57 unforced errors. It took about 10 minutes to register that that was actually the score! The umpire must've felt like a cat trapped in a tree, perched up in his seat all day. In the end, Isner was the winner. Yet another record for America to add to their trophy cabinet.

If you think he's frustrated at 38 games to 40...:

Dudes can hardly stand at this point...the net is holding Mahut up:

Thank God I won...how embarrassing if I didn't...oh sorry dude:

Well at least we are famous for something now:

In an angrier note. Hanescu was fined for spitting at the crowd this week during his match. He obviously started to feel the guilt, and foot faulted his way deliberately to the end of the match. He then tried to end the game by shaking the umpires hand, but the umpire said he cant do that. So he pretended to have a hammy injury so he could leave...good idea!...In an unrelated incident, 4 men were arrested in the crowd of the same match. Who knew one match could provide the next series of Underbelly with so much material :-S.

2 Aussies made it into week 2 of Wimbledon. The amazing Lleyton Hewitt...yes you heard right!....and Jarmilla 'Grothy' Groth. Commmmonnn! Lleyton plays Jokovic, tennis's favourite hypochondriac, and Grothy faces Venus, ouch!

AFL...The largest pumishment in AFL/VFL history was handed out today to steven Baker from the Saints. No it wasnt Barry Hall, or Plugga. And he didnt do one really bad thing, just a whole bunch of stupid/dumb things that accumulated to 12 weeks suspension! 9 with an early guilty plea. His idiotic behaviour involved hitting Johnsons broken hand, elbowing and punching. Basically being the worlds largest pest. Except for that guy who plays full back for North. By the looks of him he already copped his punishment when Johno turned around and whaked him in the face with an elbow, hrmmm, well if you poke a bear, what do you expect really? That'll learn 'im! But the Saints won the big Grand Final re-match against the Saints, and with Riewoldt to return soon, they probably could care less about this incident.

New guy Steven kicked a lazy 3 goals for the winners, as the Saints flooding tactics take yet another victim. The biggest scalp of all!

The Pies easily took care of the Swans in Sydney, despite some fight back by the home team. They were no match for Harry O, and Steel Sidebottom who can play footy, but might want to rethink his celebrity name. And with one as laughable as 'Sidebottom', whose parents would be dumb enough to make his first name an adjective?? There hasn't been a title that absurd since Olympic swimmer: Misty Hymen....Either way the Pies can smash the crap teams, can they knock off a top one? StKilda are on the menu soon.

Adelaides home ground has been turned into a victory fortress over the last. few weeks. They have even beaten Fremantle over there. It's the new bermuda triangle of footy. This week, the Demons copped a hidding, and lost their mo-jo Hawthorn style. It will be harder to get it back with such a young side thiough.

F1...It was all looking good with Webber starting 2nd on the grid, then he slowly slips back to ninth in the field, suggesting something was wrong with his Red Bull car. As we know our boy is an awesome driver. Then suddenly, the crappy/slow Lotus car in front of him braked, and not being used to amateur pace, Mark has run straight into the back of him! He then flipped up into the air in the most spectacular crash ever. And then landed on his head. Thanks to the safety of the cars, he walked away without a scratch! But knowing Mark he would be more concerned about walking away without any championship points.

Cricket...Lets just mention it quickly and get it out the way. We played about 3 games against England this week, we lost about 3 games against England this week. Does'nt matter that we came really close in one of them, the Ashes are right around the corner, and the Aussies are running out of practice time! Lets hope they are just foxing or we are screwwwweeed.

Soccer....The World cup rolls on, but without the Aussies :-S...The whole team has been red carded so there is nobody left to play anyway. The Psychic octopus should stop predicting match the winners, and start calling all the red cards, now that would be a talent. Germany, Italy, Spain and the Netherlands are all looking strong.

Back home, Tim Cahil has said he is proud of their efforts at the World cup. Harry Kewell doesnt quite agree. Last thing we need is fighting. Hey boys, lesh time talking, more time soccering!

all that and more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.



Peace out*.



*Disclaimer: The Sports Lounge may contain 2/3 of your daily fibre intake. No this does not mean we will give you the shits. Warning this last paragraph may not be accurate. Conditions apply and portions of this blog have been edited for your discomfort. Spoken by Tan for the Sports Lounge Party Melbourne (say that last sentance really fast).

If you don't have anything nice to say.......

AFL...After the NRL/State of Origin racism scandal, you'd think that everyone would have learnt a lesson in whats right and whats wrong, and to not say anything really, really stupid...right? What a surprise that it was quite the opposite, and that this one comment sent off a chain reaction of equally stupid or more stupid comments about race in sport.

The Racism jumped codes to the AFL with Mal Brown referring to indigenous players as 'cannibals'. And he almost got away with it cause he's old and the comment was almost passed off as purely uneducated. Then just when you thought it was over, Dipper thought he'd chime in and call Gavin Wanganeen 'not bad for an Abo'. He claimed his comment was taken out of context, but either way, after the week we've had, keep you trap shut!

Dipper...Would you take anything this man says seriously??:

The split round provided some shock upsets, with the Tigers winning again! And away in Brisbane!...The Lions are so riddled with injury the team is almost unrecognisable, but the Tig's are counting it anyway!

Oohhh etihad, your next victim is Matthew Kreuzer with an ACL season ending injury. As much as all the non Carlton fans are grateful, we are aware our teams will still ahve to play there, and are scared. But it probably wasnt the surface that caused his injury, afterall, he is a big clumsy dinosaur.

The Bulldogs have passed the tough test over in Perth with a convincing 60 point thrashing.

Crad Johnson back was a welcome sign for the Dogs, who are yet to take a big scalp this season. Next week against the Hawks will be a real test of whether they are a top four team, or just an outfit that knows how to thrash the crap teams :-S.

North look like they are gettin it in, with 3 wins in a row! Hanson got 5 goals in a winning side, and Shulz did ok with 7 in a losing side for Port! Bizarrely it was a home game for North, even though it was played in Adelaide :-S....mmm your home away from home.

Moment of the round goes to one man, who is now almost 'the man!" Buddy was running towards goal from the wing , and rather than heading towards the centre, he was running into the pocket. he got as close to the boundary line as he could then dribbled it through along the ground. Five minutes later, the same thing was happening, only this time he decided to give us a bit more variety. He ran as close as he could to the bounday line in the pocket, and curved it through in the air on the most impossible angle you have ever seen! As much as we hate to admit it, its goal of the year, and possible goal of the century! Buddy was good enough to admit it might have been a fluke, but after twice in 5 minutes, he has a good case for skill!

Buddy magic

Soccer...It's fair to say Australia are slightly screwed in the World Cup. Brett Holman was pumped after scoring for the Socceroos against Ghana. But after Kewell was sent off, Ghana equalised for a 1 all draw! The victory would have meant a safer passage for the Aussies, but with this draw, the team was sent into a mini crisis. And after the second red card to our best players in only a few games, we're starting to get suspicious with a conspiracy theory! There is a facebook group you can join: 'oh you're Australia...heres a red card!', and even Serena Williams was tweeting that our treatment by the reff was unfair. So unlike her to be having a go at umpires :-S, but we are glad she is on our side. We don't want a soccer ball in the throat eek. Would hurt more than a tennis ball.

New Zealand have done well too, drawing with Italy 1 all. But our Aussies need a big win over Serbia to stay in the running, 4 zip to be exact. Miracles can happen. All the big names are still in it, as the comp approaches the finals.

NRL...Greg Ingliss says he's not ready to forgive Andrew Johns for his racial slur last week. We don't really blame him, but most of the rugby world are still relieved its not Matthew Johns for a change making a twat of himself.

In State of origin game two, Queensland were thrashing the Blues, and then a dangerous spear tackle on Darius Boyd set off the biff!

From that moment on every tackle on the Maroons was a spitful one, with little elbows and knees into them when they got the chance. What else can you do when nothings happening on the scoreboard *shrug*. Greg Ingliss and Folau showed off their AFL skills with spectacular high kicks and marks. It's a shame they are leaving when they are so good at Rugby, but the dollars are calling!

In the regular round the Gold Coast had a narrow one point win over the Bulldogs, The Storm thrashed North Queensland, and in Monday night football the Knights have just knocked off the Eels 6 to 4 in a low scoring affair. Penrith have ended the baby Broncos run of amazing wins. Time for Alfie to get back on the table!

Cricket...Australia and England have decided to play 5 one day cricket matches in the middle of the year for some reason??..But before they do Australia had a 5 wicket win over Middlesex at Lords. White score 100 off 120 balls and Hussy got a respecatble 72 to save the day...few. Would have been embarrassing to lose to a division of England, when we have to face the whole Country soon. Bollinger picked up 3 for 24 for the Aussies, and Murtagh 3 for 45 for the home side. Shah also chimed in with 92 form Middlesex.

Netball...The team with the longest name in the business: the "Waikato Bay of Plenty magic", are into the playoffs aftter a 53-44 win over Adelaide. The Pulse almost had a cardiac arrest when they came close to winning over our Melbourne Vixens...thank God the girls held our dignity in tact, it was too close for comfort :-S.

Golf..Yes he alwasy gets his face into our blog somehow. This time for his golf...Tiger Woods has charged into contention, and was was five strokes behind leader Dustin Johnson after the US Opens third round. Lets see if he can get through this tournament without a sex scandal!

*We would like to dedicate the show to our friend Addam Stobbs who sadly passed away. Our Joy radio Guru, and teacher of 'taste of radio' courses and 'certicifate III in broadcasting'. RIP Addam.*


all that and more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.



Peace out*.



*Disclaimer: The Sports Lounge may contain 2/3 of your daily fibre intake. No this does not mean we will give you the shits. Warning this last paragraph may not be accurate. Conditions apply and portions of this blog have been edited for your discomfort. Spoken by Tan for the Sports Lounge Party Melbourne (say that last sentance really fast).

The agony and...the agony!

AFL....Queens birthday footy left everyone on the edge of their seat, fulfilled and unfulfilled all at the same time. Last time they met, The Dee's almost pinched it on the siren, but the Pies won by a point!..This time, it was almost the same story, a bloody draw! Collingwood were hanging on by their fingertips again, when captain Nick decided to injure himself good and take himself out of the game. And the Dee's still can't say they have beaten the Pies this year! 2 points each is better than zip, sharing is caring.


Are they really upset or just releived nobody has to face a defeated coach?..Can you tell who has the more understanding coach? Collingwood are happier with the draw cause they are under Mick:

This is it, oh this time I know it's the real thing!..No Danny isn't making a comeback, K-Hunt has finally played his first game of AFL!...In the holy land and bright lights of Craigieburn. He barely touched the ball, and his 2nd goal was flattering as it was from a push in the back, 10 seconds after he kicked his only genuine effort goal. Upon realising how much more effort was required for AFL than League, K-Hunt was probably realising why he was getting payed more money, he's required to run a lot! His legs seized up with cramp at the end of the third quarter, but the coaches were relieved he made it that far. Lucky he has a year to get fit, warning Folau. Buyer beware!

It's been long time since the Tigs have won...actually its only been a few rounds??? But this week they achieved something that is a rarity these days, one of their players kicked double figures! The man, Jack Riewoldt, usually known as the 'lesser' Riewoldt put on show not seen since Ablett senior days! So good he gets two pictures:

The Tigers are keeping a lid on it, but we don't think Jack is:

The Roo's decided to stuff our tips up this week, but on the other hand, most are happy Carlton lost. Can't win em all. The Blues are still the Katy Perrys of the AFL, still running hot and cold.

Can you smell that?..no its not the Blues cooking anything, it's Hawthorns MO-JO. Cyrol is back, and Roughy is almost back, but can they ever beat Essendon this century? Have to wait till next week.

With half the team missing, everyone feared the Cats were in touble...everyone except the Cats, that is. Another clinical performance, even the Coach was blown away by the depth that remained without half their stars. The umpire still hasn't worked out whether he was supposed to give the free kick to Wo-jo or Davy, and he is still wearing his underwear on his head.

Port lost to the Swans for obvious reasons. As Guido Hatzis would say, less time laughing, more time kicking! Dan Han has his tongue out in this pic, and rather than putting on an inspiring chase, the Port player is having a laugh at it.

Tipping StKilda in Fremantle, we were all quietly pooing our pants, but the risk payed off! Freo hasn't lost two in a row all year. Are the wheels falling off, or is it only temporary. Or maybe we cursed them and gave them nightmares by playing the 'Wharfie time' clip on our show again.

The Dogs sensed the opportunity of a lifetime! A chance to win again! Johnothon Brown (Mac Truck number one), was left out of the game on the weekend. And Fev was too busy whinging to kick any goals, just like the good ol days.

Tm Cahill was inconsolable after the sending-off which left his World Cup in virtual ruins. He described it as the saddest moment of his career. After waiting for years for this game, he will not get to play in the next match with the Soceroos either. Imagine how sad he wouldve been if we actually won! Germany kicked our ass as expected 4 zip. Other disturbing results include Englands 1 all draw with the USA, and South Koreas convincing win over Greece.

Even more disturbing is the proposed ban on soccer horns. Although fans are actually behind the move to rid them! Next they will turn on themsleves!

First there was the baby Broncos, now there is the Baby storms, or the drizzles. With half the team out the Roosters steamrolled Melbourne in Monday night NRL. The Eeels have slipped into the 8 for the first time in a while. And the Wes Tigs are now in 3rd!

Lewis is now on a hat-trick after winning hte Montreal GP. Hopefully his team mate will ruin it for him and run him into the dirt, just like Vettel did to our Mark Webber. Marks curse continues, as a gearbox change cost him 5 places to start 7th on the grid, and top spot on the leaderboard. McLaren has overtaken Red Bull in the drives as well. Vettel is about 4th thanks to being Formula ones biggest brat.

Eighth-seeded Lleyton Hewitt has beaten Roger Federer for the first time in 16 matches to win the ATP Tour's Gerry Weber Open title. The Australian won 3-6 7-6 (7-4) 6-4 in his first final of 2010. Hewitt last beat Federer in 2003 when R-Fed was practically hobbling on one leg. This was more satisfying as Roger seemed in decent shape....GO LLEYTS!

Davadenko you beauty!:

all that and more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.



Peace out*.



*Disclaimer: The Sports Lounge may contain 2/3 of your daily fibre intake. No this does not mean we will give you the shits. Warning this last paragraph may not be accurate. Conditions apply and portions of this blog have been edited for your discomfort. Spoken by Tan for the Sports Lounge Party Melbourne (say that last sentance really fast).

D'oh!

French Open...You have just knocked Serena 'Im gonna shove a tennis ball down your throat' Williams out of a Grand Slam. You just knocked the talented Justine Hennin out too, surely you can handle the 17th seed in the final right??... right???????? somebody please answer? You're number 7! It's almost too painful to admit that in my entire tennis watching life, I have never seen an Aussie girl win a Grand Slam title, and who knows if we're all in for another 30 years. Thats some kind of pressure, and weight of expectation. Don't get us wrong, we are happy she made the final because she has already achieved more than most of our girls in the last 20 years or so. But the Tournament was almost over and there had been no sign of a Greg Norman choke in sight! When you're opponent just plays better than you, what can you do though *shrug*.

Schiavonne only served a few aces for the entire tournament, but she probably served more than that in one day. Every time Sam Stosur broke her serve, she just broke it straight back. Sam said she didn't do a lot wrong, but unfortunately, neither did Schiavone. If Stosur wins Wimbledon, all will be forgiven :-P, and we will again refer to her as 'our Sam'. And yes we are probably more bitter about the loss than she is :-S. Next year, next year.



One man who felt no kind of pressure, was the clay King Rapha. Soderling had already knocked out the defending champion so it felt like a walk int he part for the Spaniard in straight sets. With Rog out the Way it was title number 7 for muscles Nadal. Two years in a row, poor Soderling has lost the final of the French open, and he is still haunted by frogs legs till this very day.

Please work on your facial expressions for the camera:


AFL...*Aww woe is me, why won't everyone leave me alone, I don't understand what I did wrong? Is it just cause I'm stupid or ignorant or both awwwwwwwwwww, this can't be me talking cause I would never think anything derogatory about myself awwwwwwwwwwwwww*...Poor Aka *rolls eyes*, thats what he's probably thinking. But he's probably jumping for joy cause his punishments are like a trip to Luna Park. He's been suspended for a couple of matches, which he would've missed anyway for poor form.

Rather than making him chose between Journalism and Footy, the club have only suspended him from writing for a few weeks. After that he is allowed to write with supervision, and if we're not mistaken, that was the existing deal! But if the supervision is s*#t, like it has been in the past, the end result is the same. Aka stands by his comments claiming it is a fair and accurate portrayal of his views. His dopey brother agrees with his comments too, so it only gets worse

Move over Nick, your cousin is more exciting than you now...and not just cause you're not playing. Jack kicked six goals turning the Tigers into a one man show. which is an improvment when they were previously a no show. It wasn't enough to knock of the Saints though.

The Crows were sitting on 2 wins, Freo were sitting on a bout 10, who would you tip??? Well the Crows won and stuffed up everyones tips. It ws Tyson Edwards last ever match, and he got best on ground. Is he going to early? Or is he just lazy, cause he could've put in that kind of effort in all the other games this year, would've been more helpful.

The Double D's 'Didak' and 'Davis' were at it again with 3 goals each. This is the second time the Pies have beaten the Dogs this year, only this time the Dogs cant use food poisoning as an excuse for losing. They stormed home with 6 goals to one in the last quarter but it wasn't enough. And injury to Higgins, Hudson facing suspension will be bad for the big Brisbane game next week. The Dogs are slipping down the ladder, and we can only wonder what this is going to do to Barry Halls temper :-S.

The Swans ended their 4 game losing streak over Essendon, but it was touch and go with the lead changing 15 times! Hawthorn just scraped home over Port, without their precious Buddy kicking goals. Nobody was safe on the weekend from major injuries or the tribunal. The Cats have lost Hawkins, and possibly Pods, Mooney, and maybe Enright to the Tribunal. Brisbane lose McGrath, and McGuire. Essendon lose ruckman Hille, and Monfries. Hawthorn lose Young, and Chance Batemans poor record means he will likely go for one week. And Carltons Waite may be back at the tribunal, although the Blues are used to brushes with the law.

The AFL have pissed off the NRL bad! Now they have stolen 2 of their best players with a thrid in sight! Israel Folau has followed in Karmichael Hunts footsteps, crossing to the dark side. Only they are going to pay Izzy about 6 million for 4 years! Thats more than Gary Ablett! Yes half of that money will go to marketing, but it's still wrong. Gary Ablett has a pimple on his head the size of a golf ball from stress, will he or wont he go? If Geelong don't leave him alone, they will drive him to the Gold Coast!

Surprisingly the NRL dont mind if they lose players to Union, but AFL hurts bad for them.

If Rugby League don't come up with the big bucks, Greg Ingliss, their prize pony, may be lured to Essendon for the big bucks. It's all speculation at this point, but we already know he can kick goals from the pocket on tight angles, so who knows. How could we possibly lure them away?? We hear you cry, well AFL is the best sport in the world, clearly :-P.

NRL....The Grand final rematch was on between the Eels and the Storm. Jarryd Haine is suspended for a week for headbutting Billy Slater! Something must've been said about the salary cap! Slater was also labeled a sledger much to his disgust. Haine will miss State of Origin over something so pathetic, the Storm don't even get points if you lose, so was it really worth it???

Surprise upsets go to the Broncos for beating Manly, and the Sharks beating the Roosters. The Milk Raiders just held on frmo a fast finishing Gold Coast, beating the favourites.

Soccer..Oh the shame and humilliation of losing to the U.S in soccer. Yes they are good at most sports, but not this one! We will blame it on injuries to Kewell, Emmerton and Cahill, but we know its just embarrassing. Hopefully the boys will be right for the World Cup soon, so we can redeem ourselves

Netball..The Vixens are, to put it mildly 'rooted!' and will likely not make the finals. The Adelaide Thunderbirds delivered the final losing blow. The Pulse however, have made some improvments on last year, as they are no longer on the bottom of the ladder. Put your defibrillators away! We have a pulse!

all that and more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.



Peace out*.



*Disclaimer: The Sports Lounge may contain 2/3 of your daily fibre intake. No this does not mean we will give you the shits. Warning this last paragraph may not be accurate. Conditions apply and portions of this blog have been edited for your discomfort. Spoken by Tan for the Sports Lounge Party Melbourne (say that last sentance really fast).