Put your Whites back on....It's Ashes Time!

Cricket....Sit down Boys and Girls and let me tell you a story about the Ashes.

There are only two teams that compete in this cricket competition, it is always Australia Vs England, or as they are commonly known as; The Legends Vs The Try Hards.

The series is played every couple of years.

This is the Ashes

This year Australias Captain is Ricky Ponting. He has 8 Ashes century's, and made 150 runs in the first innings.

This year Englands Captain is Andrew Strauss. He likes batting a lot.

Australias secret weapon is Phillip Hughes. He made the team.

Englands secret weapon is Graham Onions AKA 'The Vegtable'. He didnt make the team.

Australias best bowler is Mitchell Johnson. Mitch is a star taking 3/87 in the first innings.

Englands best bowler is Monty Panesar. He wears a funny hat.

Australias best batsman is Simon Katich. He made a century in the first innings.

Englands best batsman is Alistair Cook. He nearly made 11 runs.

The only thing that can save England in the Ashes is the Rain, cause they can't even bowl Australia out.

4 Aussies ended up with century's from the First Innings. Fee Fi Fo Fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman. We assume the Aussies will live happily ever after.

(Warning: This Post will sound more entertaining if you read it in an English accent, like the fat controller in Thomas The Tank Engine.)

AFL....Just when you dared to remove the Ice Pack from your forehead after watching Geelong V St Kilda, they hit you with blockbuster number 2! The Pies and the Dogs! 2 Sides so Evenly matched, you can only squeeze one measly point between them! The Pies take the cake as the Double D's (Davis & Didak) continue to wreak havock.

The game could have gone either way in the end. Just when the Pies looked to be in control, there was a 6 goal surge by the Dogs in the last quarter. And just like against the Cats, the Dogs lose by a whisker ;-)

Barry Hall has punched his last Jaw. The former Saint (St Kilda player that is, not good guy), and Current Swan retires due to anger management problems, funnily enough. Ahh Barry, we will miss your intimidating glare. He retires on this score sheet:

Barry Hall Bio

Sydney 2002-06,

-250 games

-273 goals

- 2 Knockouts

Wise man once say; 'no Ablett, no Geelong'. this week wise man say; 'no Ablett, Scarlett, Milburn, Ling, Kelly, Johnson, Ottens, Mackie and Varcoe, No F%$#ing team left at all!' Literally. The Lions pounce on the depleted Cats as Geelong lose 2 in a row for the 1st time in Joel Selwoods career.

The Crows had an impressive 117 point win over the Dockers with 'The Porpus' Jason Porplyzia getting 5 goals. Fev had a Record haul too for the Blues with 9.

In Tassie Buddy and his gut step things up at the last minute to give the Hawks a 9 point victory in the mini Blockbuster with North!

No offense Hawks but the season kinda ended a while ago.

The Dee's win 2 in a row! Yes you heard right! It's bizzaro weekend! It's been a few years since the feat has been achieved, with a lil' help from Jurrah in just his 3rd or 4th game, progressing nicely.

Rugby League..Roosters player Nate Myles defecates semi-naked in a hotel lobby. In his defence a member of the Footy Show said; 'if a naked, hungover footy player knocked on your door and asked to do a poo in your room at 3am, would you let him? Dont think so'....Maybe not but Im betting a 5 Star hotel would have a toilet in the Lobby guys. Maybe not a 2 star, but a 5 star for sure ;-).

Yes I'm aware he kind of looks like he's doing a poo in this pic, ahh the irony.

In more serious Rugby news, State of Origin 3 is on this Wednesday. Can the Blues stop the white wash and get some respect back? As long as they dont have Myles on their team, entirely possible.

Netball...Dont forget it's Finals time in the Championships this week with the Mighty Melbourne Vixens beating the New Zealand Magic 58 to 43. We will get the full story from this game as well as the Thunderbirds V Steel Semi final.

F1!....

HERALD SUN BREAKING NEWS: AUSTRALIAN Mark Webber has secured his first Formula One victory, taking out the German Grand Prix. Webber secured his maiden victory - Australia's first since 1981 - when he led teammate Sebastian Vettel home in a triumphant one-two for the Red Bull team.

OMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!

FINALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

NO MORE SECOND AND THIRD PLACES FOR OUR BOY, HE'S A WINNER NOW!

YIPPPPPEEEEEE KIY-AY M.F!

THAT IS ALL.

All that n more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.

Peace out*

.*Disclaimer: The Sports Lounge may contain 2/3 of your daily fibre intake. No this does not mean we will give you the shits. Warning this last paragraph may not be accurate. Conditions apply and portions of this blog have been edited for your discomfort. Spoken by Tan for the Sports Lounge Party Melbourne (say that last sentance really fast).