This S%#t is gettin' Biblical!

AFL...Another David V Goliath match and as this time David finally wins! The Saints are beatable and vulnerable, and who better to knock them off than the team that set the very record they were trying to break. The record they have failed to break 2 rounds early!...With recent losses to the Cats and Saints, who knows what the F#$k will happen in September! One things for sure, no team will go a whole home and away season without defeat!..Didn't see that one coming after that loss to West Coast Bombers??...It couldn't be more shocking to the Footy world.....ok maybe if we told you Freo or Richmond beat the Saints. It couldn't have been closer too with Nick Riewolt having a shot after the siren; a goal to win, a point to lose...Opps I think he missed.

It was a landmark week in Football as we welcome the first piece of crappy West Sydney merchandise into the world....A weak ass T-shirt:

And a weak ass logo on it:

Yes welcome to the West Sydney team. GWS of course stands for???...Greater Wanking Suburbs, or if you prefer Greater West Sydney. Whats with the G seriously?

That giant orange cyst in the background is supposed to be the Sun, which you'd think would belong to the Gold Coast Logo?...So far most people have mistaken it for Ayres Rock, which you'd think would belong to an NT team? But the weird orange mound doesn't seem to look like either. The logo will most likely end up on a Psychologists flash cards to determine exactly WTF it is???..In related news, GWS has been mistaken as an Acronym for a discount Supermarket chain. It's the new Ritchies IGA! The whole thing looks like it was produced in my Garage.

One man thankfull he will not be coaching West Sydney, is John Longmire. The Swans have copied the Pies and will introduce Longmire as new Coach of the Swans, Nathan Buckly/Mick Malthouse style. Paul Roos will automaticlly be shoved aside at the end of next year. After standing up in the coaches box all night on Saturday, it looked like he might be jumping ship early. And once again North Melbourne miss their man.

I know Junior, we won by a bee's dick!...Aint it great.

The Swans finals hopes have been snuffed, but only just by the Cats. It was just about match of the round as another heart stoppers see's many Cats fans fitted with Pacemakers. 5 minutes of tense stoppages usually the Swans saviour, this time Geelong's.

At quarter time the Hawks were 4 or 5 goals up on the Crows who barely scored, and just when you thought the Hawkes were back....they're not!...The Crows turned that around in the second quarter with 5 goals to zip. It was Green round, and appropriately that was the exact shade the Hawks fans faces turned when they saw the new score. wholly Jason Porplyzia, the Crows are back!

The Pies completely destroyed the Tigs at the G on Saturday arvo. Jake King punches Alan Didak in the heat of the battle, which isn't a wise move, to punch a guy that mingles with the Mafia. The fight had everything, even alleged biting. The teeth marks will be examined at the tribunal to determine the offender

The Eagles definitely aren't tanking anymore, but we are starting to wonder if North are? 3 wins in a row and the weags are on fire.

Port Reclaim their Schizo title from the Eagles by losing a game at home. The only place they have been able to win of late.

Judd Gettin' Visy wid it in Green round.

The Dogs have gained back some respect too after losing to the Eagles, with a sold win over the Lions at the Gabba.

And now to the big news from the Sunday Arvo blockbuster at the MCG...MELBOURNE V FREMANTLE!....And it wasn't even close in the battle for the Wooden spoon. The D's won the points and still keep the priority pick. Now thats well disguised tanking strategy ;-).

Cricket...Shane Watson has declared his great urge for a century in the Fifth Ashes Test. He said this week he freaks out about making a lot of runs and feels the pressure...This just in, you're Human Shane! congrats...Watson made 93 against the Lions this week. that'll do.

There was drama at the Aussies Hotel as a smoke alarm went off this week, leaving the team standing out in the street in the early hours of the morning. At first it was believed the Balmy Army set off the alarm as a payback prank on the Australian team. This was because the Aussie fans 'the fanatics' set off a smoke alarm as a prank on the English team on the 1st day of the Headingly test, leaving the Poms out in the rain at 5am... pfffffft.... It turns out it was just a false alarm, set off by some dodgy underwear left too close to a heater.
The culprits:

We're not entirely sure of the Englsih teams innocence in the matter. The underwear is believed to belong to Freddy Flintoff. The evidence is overwhelming;

See, told you they were his.

Freddy is tipped to be fit for the 5th test but things seem to be rocky on the English team. It has been revealed this week Flintoff and captain Strauss had a feud after Freddy was left out of the 4th test. Englands problems continue with Bopara and Cook scoring 1 and 4 for Essex against Middlesex. Ramprash is tipped as a replacment for Bopara who claims he is ready for Test Cricket after winning Dancing with the stars :-s...It's a good thing hes not a bowler cause he sounds like a real tosser.

NRL...Melbourne Storm star Greg Inglis has been stood down from his playing duties after beeing involved in an alleged scandal. Greg will appear in court under charges of assulting his girlfriend Rebecca. Reports say his girlfriend will step forward with news to clear his name though. It looks like his innocence might be genuinely declared by this in court, as long as he doen't use the Wayne Carey defence, or that of the Sharks CEO; my fist slipped onto her eye, I swear...Classy guys.

Meanwhile back at the FOOTBALL....The Raiders beat St George in a shock upset 24 to 12!

The Raiders came from 12-0 down in a bruising clash at Canbera Stadium. They smashed the Dragons on the scoreboard, and smashed them unconscious...hope he's ok :-/.

Soccer...A superb free kick has earned Wellington a 2-1 win over Perth on a rain soaked stadium in Wellington. Bertos made the shot.

Melbourne and Brisbane have shared a 3-3 draw, which saw the hosts come from 2 down at half time to pinch a point! Go Victory!

Tennis..In a weird twis at the Montreal master, Rapha Nadal spent only 36 minutes in his comeback match as David Ferer retired hurt trailing 4-3 in the second round. Nadal hasnt played since May.

Clijsters keeps her comeback on track and wins in Cincinati after a 2 year absence; 6-2, 7-5 over Switzerland's Patty Shnyder.

Tsonga beats Fed in Montreal after fighting back from 5-1 down, to end Rogers 21 game winning streak. 'Yo Adrian! we did it!';

All that n more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.

Peace out*

.*Disclaimer: The Sports Lounge may contain 2/3 of your daily fibre intake. No this does not mean we will give you the shits. Warning this last paragraph may not be accurate. Conditions apply and portions of this blog have been edited for your discomfort. Spoken by Tan for the Sports Lounge Party Melbourne (say that last sentance really fast).All that n more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.