How to stalk a Tiger....Like a Tiger!

Golf...He's Famous, he's rich, he even owns his own budget Airline. So from the Moment Tiger Woods stepped off the plane, the paparazzi were stalking him. It was on like Donkey Kong. There were camera men hiding in shrubs, on roof tops and even stalking in Hellicopters. And Britney thought it was all for her. They chased him from location to location. But none of the press actually woke up and thought of the most obvious place to look for Tiger....A F&%$*@g GOLF COURSE!

Let the stalking begin:
Tiger steps out for a quick bite to eat:

The Hellicopters move in for the kill:

And then there was the Masters. But it wasn't easy to convince Tiger to come to Australia. Of course nobody would come to a beautiful Country with lovely warm weather of their own free will. So we had to pay him 3 billion dollars...or something close to.

Tiger clearly in need of Cash...And on the Golf course:

It was all looking good, and for our investment to pay off. Tiger was playing well, and then on the second last day of the Tournament, Tiger had a bad day, and Aus's Greg Chalmers was hot on Tigers heels. Feeling the impending embarrasment of beeing nothing more than a show pony, Tiger went back to the hotel and practiced his swing. On the last day he came out and stepped it up. He opened with a Birdie and finished 14 under the Card to take the win....and a feral mustard jacket...yaaaaaaaaaaaay!...during the presentation Tiger also said he would come back nex year and play again. But what else is he gonna say on the spot?: screw you i've got money out you now I aint commin back. Or will he just up the next fee, and blame it on a bad economy.

After receiving another giant cheque, Tiger blushed and tried to make his money grubbing not look quite as damaging. He told us all not to worry cause he's helping our economy, due to the fact that he brought his Mum to Aus and she had already spent all of his money here. He then asked how to buy a Koala and a Kangaroo?...Why don't you quit while you're ahead man.


AFL....Well it actually happened. No it's not just that he's no longer wearing green spandex, Sheeds is actually going to coach West Sydney in 2012! Is it because they think he will make a good coach, or just to stop him from constantly making a dick of himself in his spare time?...Only time will tell.


On a more serious note Richo is retiring. Just when he was hitting his prime, it's time to hang up the boots, and the hamstring. His body had had enough and he just couldn't play on. We will miss the aggression, we will miss the goals, but most of all we will miss him going off his tree, and abusing his team mates for not passing the ball to him....Farewell Richo...a tear.


The Lions have received a new sponsor for the 2010 season, and with that comes a new look logo on their jumpers. This week the new home guernsey was launched with underwhelming changes.
The new jumper...A lion:

This is the Lions previous jumper:...also a lion. As you can see the only thing that has basically changed is that the Lion now has a face. It's all pretty pointless. It reminds me of the time the mkaers of Connect Four brought out connect Five....did anyone really notice the difference????????

Soccer....the 10-man Socceroos have scored a stunning 2-1 Group B qualifier victory over Oman today to put them in pole position to make the Asian Cup finals in 2011.

Australia were forced to play one man short for 75 minutes after losing defender Rhys Williams to a red card, as well as fight back from a goal down.

And the world is in shock with New Zealand actually winning thier qualifying game.A headed goal from Rory Fallon and a penalty save by Mark Paston have carried New Zealand to the World Cup finals in South Africa next year. And they are in the finals for the first time since 1982.

Basketball.... A sixthversus eighth encounter is unlikely to generate much anticipation in many leagues, but there was plenty to be interested in when the Tigers hosted the Townsville Crocodiles at the Cage last night. New Tiger Julius Hodge top scored on debut with 22 points. Even though it wasn't evough to give the Tigs the win. They lost 98 to 91 to Townsville.

Interview.....We chat to Michelle Rigg, a representative of the upcoming Pink Sofa Cup. The cup is the only Lesbian tennis tournament in Australia. It's the Ashes of the Lesbian Tennis World!

All that n more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.


Peace out*.



*Disclaimer: The Sports Lounge may contain 2/3 of your daily fibre intake. No this does not mean we will give you the shits. Warning this last paragraph may not be accurate. Conditions apply and portions of this blog have been edited for your discomfort. Spoken by Tan for the Sports Lounge Party Melbourne (say that last sentance really fast).All that n more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.