GOLD GOLD GOLD!....and not so gold!

Winter Olympics.....After all the hype about our Aussie Gold medals, it would seem we would have a good idea about what Golds. This is supposed to be a picture an authentic gold medal from the Vancouver games, and it is, but it looks like a tram has run over it.

This is also real Gold. After all the hype our Lydia Lassila delivered our second Gold medal of these games! Our lil champ landed two great jumps, with one perfect landing, and had to wait for the Chinese girl to jump, and seal her fate. She was great in the air, but couldn't stick the landing and faceplanted. Alyssa Camplin said 'she ate the snow!' creating a new insult for school children all over the world: 'eat snow sucker!'...And so after I almost talked her out fo her Olympic career, Lydia has proven me wrong, and Iv'e never been more happy to be :-). Yay!


This, is definitely not Gold. Two Russian figure skaters who thought they would dress up and pretend to be Aboriginals, and ended up looking like two smiling twats with leaves stuck on them! Nobody around the world could pinpoint the exact tribe they were trying to mimic, and when asked they said 'It was a general Aboriginal routine', whatever that means? Don't think they even know. If other Country's can work out how wrong it is, it must be bad! And why can't you? Whats worse was the judges handed them top marks for their performance, and handed them undue creability. Aboriginal communities have since told the Russians where they can stick their poorly crafted imitation Digeridoo's!

This was definitely more comedy Gold. 5 or 6 of the most experienced 4 man Bobsled teams in the world, capsizesd and overturned on evil corner 13 fo the sliding track. The men became like human pinballs, travelling at a thousand miles an hour. Everyone was ok and all the sledders were patting eachother on the back as a reminder of that special ride they shared. Four dudes, sitting so close together, wearing spandex, sharing a special moment together. Sounds a bit Johny weir right Eddie ;-)

Congratulations goes to Canada, for putting Michael Buble in a mounty outfit in the closing ceremony. They do not get praise for getting William Shatner to talk about making love to canoes, or for talking about writing your name in the snow with your own pee :-s. I was trying to eat lunch guys! Congrats also does not go to Yevgeny Plashenko. He lost the figure skating to an American, and then, when he went to collect his silver medal, stood on the winners podium before standing on the silver podium...bitter much Yev?????....

And last but not least it does not go to speed skater Sven Kramers coach, who instructed his skater to take the wrong lane, losing him the gold medal. When the coach told Sven he was skating in the wrong like, Sven was looking at him in disbelief *YOU TOLD ME TO!* eeek.

Cricket...The Aussies capped off another win against the West Indies in the last 20/20 of our summer. Dave Warner another quick fire 67 was in great form with 7 sixes and 5 fours. The commentators were also in top form with their dirty calls. Bill Lawry was telling us David Warners 'muscles were rippling', as he 'heaved the ball over mid wicket'. And Phill Nicolson was teaching us how fast bowling speeds are a 'pumping hard for a batsman', and that fast bowlers sometimes 'get it up...into the mid 190's'. Minds out of the gutters boys, keep your sexual frustration out of the office please.

Warner also reversed his batting stance while the bowler was coming into bowl. David argued that if bowlers can change their styles, he should be able to change his batting stance, and everyone can adapt to him. Only problem is, theres no time! The fielders can't adjust that quickly. Both he and Michael Clarke couldn't seem to work that out on their own.

The Kiwis are happy cause they won a game that went into overtime against the Aussies in the last 20/20. It was a one man show as Mcullum scored 116 not out and single handedly beat the Aussies. So New Zealand can't really say they beat us ;-). Tait bowled to wides in the super over and the match was gone from our grip.

AFL...Heave ho, the Dockers mean businesss....or do they?...after North Melbourne beat the Premiers last week, everyone thought they mean tbusiness too. Until they lost to Freo this week. The Dockers march on into the semis after the thrilling win, where the lead changed twice in the last 80 seconds! We won't know if they really mean busines until they face off with the big boys in the home and away. Some teams are trying, some are tanking and testing out young players, theis cup is so deceptive. It's like spending a night with David Copperfield!

Other winners include Barry Hall and his big bustling 6 goals for the Bulldogs. But can we take his performance seriously against a bunch of school boys? Well we better cause we don't want to get punched! The Siants held on in a semi thriller against Sydney and Port thrashed West Coast.

The AFL has now introduced free agency, and players can no longer move around freely unless they have served 8 years at their club, and are not in the top ten. The AFL has released a list of players that will be elligible for free agency at the end of 2012, and it's pretty much everyone on your team!...Jeff Kennet has agian voiced his disaproval, saying that the AFL are like a 'bowl of Spaghetti with undefinable ends'. And yes, surprisingly, we still don't understand his point!

Soccer...Wellington play Newcastle and Sydney play Melbourne in two big semi finals next week. We are taking these matches more seriously than Melbourne hearts new logo...but it wouldn't be hard!

Basketball...Woolongong have beaten the Crocs in their final semi final, and have set up a grand final clash with Perth next week. With the McCrocs out the way, its now game McON! for the Gong.

All that n more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.


Peace out*.



*Disclaimer: The Sports Lounge may contain 2/3 of your daily fibre intake. No this does not mean we will give you the shits. Warning this last paragraph may not be accurate. Conditions apply and portions of this blog have been edited for your discomfort. Spoken by Tan for the Sports Lounge Party Melbourne (say that last sentance really fast).All that n more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.