The Race that stops a few Gays

Horse Racing...It's supposed to be the race that stops a Nation but if you ask our community what the Melbourne cup is, most will say it's just a day off work to watch a few healthy Pony's strut around a track. Or that it's one of the biggest fashion days of the year. Or even that it's just a day where a lot of straight men pick up on trains. It seems there's something for everyone, even if they don't stop to take any notice of it.

So whats all the fuss about? Why is it so serious then? Maybe because trainer Jake Stephens has 'beefed up security around Alcopop as he takes no chances with the Melbourne Cup second favourite'. Thats right it's so serious there is a high fear of HORSE SABOTAGE! chose your carrots wisely mmmmwwwhhhhhaaaaaa.

A security guard they borrowed from the Peel:

The field of extremely serious Melbourne Cup contenders, in order of relatively serious faviouritism:

EFFICIENT
ALCOPOP
VIEWED
ROMAN EMPEROR
ZIPPING
MASTER OREILLY
DAFFODIL
CHANGINGOFTHEGUARD
VIGOR
MOURILYAN
LEICA DING
SHOCKING
WARRINGAH
ALLEZ WONDER
CEST LA GUERRE
KIRKLEES
MUNSEF
CAPECOVER
FIUMICINO
CIMA DE TRIOMPHE
BASALTICO
DANDAAD
CRIME SCENE
HUME
ISTA KAREEM
ZAVITE
NEWPORT
HARRIS TWEED
KIBBUTZ
GALLIONS REACH
HISSING SID
THINK MONEY
HOORANG
NAVAL ESCORT
SPIN AROUND
CAPE BRETON
CATS FUN
SIX OCLOCK NEWS
OAK HEART
BRITOMART

But we can't forget the winner of the big Victoria Derby. The regally named New Zealand-bred colt Monaco Consul stormed to victory in yesterday's 155th Victoria Derby, watched by a crowd of 108,000. Perhaps we fogot to mention it cause the horse has such an underwhelming name. And because Bart cummings didn't train the horse. Just about the only race he hasnt won all year.

Winning trainer Mike Moroney and Jockey Corey Brown with the Derby Trophy:

Bart is hoping for back to back Cup wins with last years winner Viewed drawing the hallowed barrier nine. Jeez, at least give the other horses a sporting chance. Whatever happened to handicaps?

Mr Ed Interview update...Wednesday will be the biggest racing day of the year, and we still can't get Ed to do an Interview! Ed's manager Wilbur has clearly stated that the Palamino will not be available for comment on the big day. Ed insists that Melbourne cup day is strictly to be spent eating with friends.
F1...After snatching a last minute pole position, Lewis thought he could finally breathe easy without his boss breathing down his neck. The Red Bulls were poised with Sebastian Vettel and our Mark Webber qualifying 2nd and third. However during the race the disaster struck for Lewis, and he was forced to retire. Vettel romped home with our boy Mark 2nd. After finishing first in the last race Mark is now one of the worlds best! To quote Mark after his first win 'You F&*^*&^*&^*&^*&^n beauty!

New driver Kobayashi scores his first points of the season since being relased from prison, after filming The Usual Suspects.

Soccer... A Carlos Hernandez brace has helped Melbourne break its Perth hoodoo, defeating the Glory 2-1 on Sunday afternoon at ME Bank Stadium. Woo hoo!

Sydney FC have maintained their grip on top spot of the ladder with an entertaining 3-1 win over Wellington Phoenix at the SFS on Sunday

Cricket... After a great start Australia trail India 2/1 in Nagpur. Not even Husseys 81 off 82 could save us in the third game. We have now lost the last 2 matches and have unofficially derailed :-s. Dhoni's 71 not out was a highligh for the home team.



captain Ricky Ponting says it's not "all doom and gloom" as we attempt to level the contest in Chandigarh today.

Golf.... England’s Ian Poulter held off a brave challenge from Liang Wen-chong of China to claim a thrilling one-stroke victory at the Barclays Singapore Open on Sunday for his first triumph in two years.

The Ryder Cup star battled to a one-over-par 72 at the Sentosa Golf Club to complete a wire-to-wire victory in the star-studded US$5 million event co-sanctioned by the Asian Tour and European Tour for the first time. It was Poulter’s eighth career European Tour win, which was worth US$833,330, and his first since winning the 2007 Dunlop Phoenix Open in Japan. However, the flamboyant Englishman needed to overcome a mid-round wobble with four bogeys over six holes to end his title drought.

Big ass Mo Fo'n trophy:


AFL...well the 2009 season has only just ended, but the AFL has decided it's time for Geelong to end its Premiership celebrations and move on. I'm still not done though. Regardless Your 2010 fixture has been released:

AFL FIXTURE

Happy days for the Bombers and North melbourne. The two rebuilding teams are being forced to sweat it out against the top teams. Essendon play the top four teams from 09 twice! Plus hawthorn and Carlton Twice! The Roos play the top teams StKilda and the Bulldogs twice! Way to break their already dieing spirit. The Cats don't get to unveil their flag till round four, and Stkilda don't play them till round 13! Way to let them seek some revenge.

The Blues and the Tigers open the year again just so we can see the two Ex Eagles talk some trash. Why not keep in line with the rest of the fixture and just have Carlton and Richmond play every week? A tad lop-sided.

All that n more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.

Peace out*.

*Disclaimer: The Sports Lounge may contain 2/3 of your daily fibre intake. No this does not mean we will give you the shits. Warning this last paragraph may not be accurate. Conditions apply and portions of this blog have been edited for your discomfort. Spoken by Tan for the Sports Lounge Party Melbourne (say that last sentance really fast).All that n more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.