Can it be worse than the Ashes?????????...'Yes, it, can!'

Oh dear....Happy new year!...or is it?..Well it is for Pakistan, They couldn't wait for last year to end, after we crushed them in the Boxing day test. And look at us now, completely FUBAR!*. A man called ASIF took 6-41!...As if we could beat him, as if we had a snow flakes chance in hell of competing with that! The healthy crowd of 29,844 were stunned as Australia slumped to their lowest score on home soil in 13 years - they were rolled for 122 against the West Indies in Melbourne in 1996.

*See Tango and Cash the Movie, we're not going to do all of the work for you now ;-).

But surely our captain will step up when we need him most right?....aaahhhheeeeeeem...no.
Ponting strolled to the crease but lasted one delivery when he spooned the ball to deep square leg for a diving Umar Gal. It was the second successive year Ponting went first ball in Sydney. The carage was horrible, the children were told to look away and go to their rooms. How could we play so bad after playing so well in the last test?...Can we blame it on Asif's drug problem? We can acuse him of cheating, but will that really change the embarrassing result?...AS IF!!!!!!!!!

Australian captain Ricky Ponting after being bowled for a golden duck in the second Test:

Yachting...As if we did't already know the result, because the race was over and results were decided from almost the very beginning. But for all those living under a rock, New Zealand maxi Alfa Romeo took line honours in the 65th annual Rolex Sydney Hobart yacht race for her 146th consecutive ocean classic victory. Wild Oats XI, skippered by Mark Richards, was set to finish more than an hour behind the winner in second place this year.

ICAP Leopard took third place after a decision to change course to find a breeze in the race's overwhelmingly light conditions becalmed her on Monday, costing second place.
Fourth-placed Investec Loyal, a yacht crewed partly by sporting stars including boxer Danny Green and Wallaby Phil Waugh, was more than 70 nautical miles off the pace, followed closely by Ran, Ichi Ban, Lahana, and Yuuzoo.

All boats finished in equal place for having stupid complicated and difficult to pronounce names. Who would name a boat Etihad stadium????????? its a boat! not a stadium!

Wild Oats XI took line honours in the Pittwater to Coffs Race on Sunday morning, but it was a poor consulation to the S to H race. Their biggest rival finished second, yes bloody Etihad stadium boat :-P.

Basketball...The Melbourne Tigers have turned the tables on the Cairns Taipans, avenging their loss earlier in Round 14 to score an 87-64 victory. The Tigs have won 2 now in ans many weeks and could mathematically still back flip into the finals!

The Perth Wildcats have pulled off their biggest win of the season, demolishing Wollongong 91-57 in an emphatic 34-point result at Challenge Stadium on Saturday night. And The Gold Coast Blaze have scored an important 90-83 win over the New Zealand Breakers at the Gold Coast Convention Centre on New Year's Eve.
Soccer.... A Paul Ifill double saw Wellington move above Central Coast on the Hyundai A-League table with a 2-0 win at Bluetongue Stadium on Thursday night.

Socceroo Luke Wilkshire says "the Australian in us'' will steer the team through the World Cup and next week's must-win Asian Cup qualifier in Kuwait. A successful Middle East assignment next Thursday morning against Group B co-leaders Kuwait would guarantee the Socceroos a spot in the 2011 Asian Cup finals. You Beauty!


Tennis...It's almost that time of year, can you smell it?...We are warming up to the Australian Open. And on the eve of our biggest Tournament the Hewitt-Tomic Fued has added another chapter. Tomic's father, John, fears cultural differences are at the heart of tensions between Lleyton Hewitt and the Tomic camp. Hewitt delivered a stinging critique of Tomic by declaring the teenage sensation unworthy of a Davis Cup berth and should not be chosen ahead of veteran baseliner Peter Luczak.

"I think Lleyton has drunk too much wine over Christmas," Tomic Sr said.
"To us he's an icon, but it's up to him what he says, we can't change his mind. He can talk, that means everyone can see he has a problem, not us."... A compliment and an insult all in one! thanks Dad! Im confused :-s

"Probably there is something there. If we were Aussies, there might be different talk, a different attitude."...Oh so now Leytons racist then Dad?

Speaking before a hit up with Richard Gasquet, Tomic Jr said he had no issue with Hewitt and would happily meet to clear the air. The boom Queenslander reiterated that he did not hit with Hewitt at Wimbledon because he was suffering swine flu.Tomic Sr slammed reports they sought sessions with other players instead of Hewitt, revealing English officials had asked him to keep Tomic's illness quiet to quell fears over the swine-flu outbreak....Yet Tomic had no problem trying to take Fererro down with his Swine Flu in a hit up hrrrmm?

"It is not true that Bernard asked other players for a hit, I don't know who is pushing this. Bernard was too sick to hit with anybody."
"We think Lleyton is an icon in Australian sport, we love his game and his achievements.
"We can shake hands from my side any time."....Still so confused Dad??????????? Do you like him or not?


In actual Tennis news, underdog Romania stunned Australia with Hopman Cup victory, overcoming Lleyton Hewitt and Sam Stosur to forge a shock upset.
Victor Hanescu and Sorana Cirstea snatched the decisive mixed doubles rubber 7-5, 6-1 to snatch a 2-1 result overall. Ouch, Lleyts can't catch a break. But at least he has a spiffy new hair cut for the Open :-).

Australian comeback queen Alicia Molik has dug deep to score a thrilling a three-set victory in her big tournament return at the Brisbane International. Molik progressed through to a second-round clash with top seed Kim Clijsters after overcoming Russian Ekaterina Makarova 6-4 1-6 6-4 at Pat Rafter Arena on Sunday....She's Baaaaaaaaaccccccccccccck.

AFL....well this week the AFL had an epiphany. They realised that the started and finished with a toe poke. At the begining of the year it was Setanta O'hailpin who punched and unconscious a team mate, then toe poked his unconscious bum. And at the end of the year, it was a toe poke from Mathew Scarlett into Gary Juniors arms, that kick started Chappy's winning goal in the Grand final. Sherlock Holmes, wins again.

Carlton will struggle to field a team this year with most of the side facing charges and possibly prison. Police have confirmed Eddie Betts was arrested in the city early on Sunday morning last week, for being drunk, while Mitch Robinson allegedly injured his shoulder and had a black eye after two fights.

The club has already slapped $10.000 fines on players Ryan Houlihan and Andrew Walker after brawling with staff at Crown casino early on Sunday morning. Looks like you can't take the Blues anywhere.

The Usual Suspects:

All that n more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.


Peace out*.



*Disclaimer: The Sports Lounge may contain 2/3 of your daily fibre intake. No this does not mean we will give you the shits. Warning this last paragraph may not be accurate. Conditions apply and portions of this blog have been edited for your discomfort. Spoken by Tan for the Sports Lounge Party Melbourne (say that last sentance really fast).All that n more on the show that goes through more balls than Roger Federer.